Historically Speaking: What I Wish For…

The Opening Chapter
The last time we met I was rambling on about what I’m thankful for in the wrestling history. Now after an unexpected hiatus I am back with anther rambling list, this time with a list of things I wish for in the wrestling history. I mean it is Christmas season after all. It’s the perfect time to wish and ask for things that aren’t really needed. It will just be a fun exercise in armchair booking at least.

What I Wish For…
~ spotfests of old in the TNA X-Division…

~ a real WWE tag team division, with matching names and gear…

~ Mark Henry off my television screen; I can handle the rest of the WWE monsters in a sort of perverse so-bad-they’re-good way, but nothing about Mark Henry makes me want to devote my viewing time to him. I don’t wish any ill will on him, I just don’t want to see him on TV anymore…

~ live PPVs for ROH; a PPV airing matches a month and a half old lose some of their luster, no matter how awesome the show still is…

~ continued real pushes and success for the Motor City Machine Guns and Frankie Kazarian; If TNA really wants to be the “alternative” then their show should look and feel different than the competition, and putting guys like this on top will help solve that problem…

~ Sting to sign a WWE Legends deal, get a Hall of Fame induction, show up at WrestleMania and fight Ric Flair and then make a bunch of money off of a career retrospective DVD and biography. I know I’m not the only one who’s wishing for this one…

~ WWE to explain why in the hell Deuce, Domino & Cherry dress like they’re in the ‘50s; and give them a team name. I mean the Internet already calls them The Untouchables or The Throwbacks. And come to think of it, let’s get official names for London & Kendrick (The Hooligans), Jesse & Festus (The Daltons) and Cade & Murdoch (The Redneck Wrecking Crew)…

~ the resurrection of the WWE Cruiserweight division and its Championship…

~ a new WrestleMania moment to replace the unfortunately irreplaceably damaged Benoit-Guerrero image…

~ more entertaining, long-term feuds like Matt Hardy-MVP…

~ a proper storyline and send-off for “The Nature Boy”…

~ Bryan Danielson to make the kind of money befitting of the best wrestler in the world…

~ just one public interaction or acknowledgement between Shawn Michaels and all of his “kids” (Danielson, London, Kendrick, Bentley and Cade)…

~ just one more Bret Hart appearance on WWE TV…

~ Samoa Joe as THE man in TNA…

~ the continued goodness of WWE’s compilation DVDs…

~ Paul Heyman back booking a wrestling program…

~ more wrestlers with the natural charisma and entertainment value of The Rock and Chris Jericho…

~ one more Rock match…

~ CM Punk to become a legitimate worldwide wrestling superstar…

~ a push (or at least continued employment) for Stevie Richards, Charlie Haas and Val Venis…

~ for people to stop hating on John Cena, Randy Orton and The Miz so much…

~ Maria in Playboy this year…

~ a shirt for Viscera…

~ a return to the glory days of male managers, thanks to guys like Jim Mitchell, Matt Striker and Santino Marella…

~ a return to the wrestling arena for both Sean O’Haire and Brock Lesnar…

~ Mick Foley to stop whoring out the legacy he built up for himself…

~ just one more time around for Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat…

~ either for ECW to become something visually or stylistically different than RAW and SmackDown!, or for it just to be renamed Velocity and we can drop all the false pretenses…

The Perspective
Just like Christmas I know most of the things on my wish list won’t come to fruition anyways. But hey, a guy can hope right?

For this week the vault is closed…

Linked to the Pulse
David B. talks about Shawn Stasiak’s DVD. Apparently it is much better than I ever thought it would be.

The Top Wrestlers feature is back up and going. Yours truly covered the most recent entry.

Eric S. is back and the same old cranky bastard, only now he’s got a new car.

Recent History
This is the section where I can ramble through my thoughts on this past week in wrestling, whether it be the television shows, pay per views, or any news that came out. Kinda like Vh1’s “Best Week Ever,” but this should be less annoying…hopefully.

I really like that TNA has delivered in their main events three weeks running now. I hope that at least they can keep that up.

SmackDown! continues to quietly put on consistent stories and matches. We saw logical build in the World Championship scene, the start to a nice Mysterio-Porter stopgap feud and the continued rebuilding of Jaime Noble. Good stuff all around.

I wish I could’ve seen Turning Point, just for the Samoa Joe shoot interview.

Two weeks ago on RAW, they hit on all cylinders. There was hype for Michaels-Kennedy, more Triple H-Hardy goodness, the kick-off to the anticipated Ric Flair retirement angle and build for Jericho-Orton. Plus there was a little love thrown to both the tag and women’s divisions. I know it was Flair’s night, and I’m glad it was, but it was great that the last image of the show was a stare down between Orton and Jericho to show the viewers what the money program really is. Then this week they brought more logical goodness and some good entertainment. Mr. Kennedy telling “Razor Ramon” thanks for coming was a nice bit, and Triple H playing a bit part on the show was a refreshing chance as well.

This Day in History
I figured if we are talking history around here we should pay homage to what has happened on this very day in the years gone by. It will either make you long for the old days or be happy for what we have now.

1971 – Karl Gotch & Rene Goulet defeated Crazy Luke Graham & Tarzan Tyler for the WWWF Tag Team title
1980 – Mongolian Stomper defeated Jack Brisco for the Georgia National Heavyweight title
1986 – Manny Fernandez & Rick Rude defeated Rick Morton & Robert Gibson for the NWA World Tag Team title
1993 – The War Machines defeated Mike Anthony & Jeff Gaylord for the USWA Tag Team title
1998 – WWF Capital Carnage was held at the London Arena inLondon, England
2002 – WWA Retribution was held at The SECC in Glasgow, Scotland

The Assignment
It’s important to know your history to know where you have come from and where you are going. Back when Nova was in charge of the WWE developmental system he implemented mandatory history assignments for the students of the developmental territories so they would know pro wrestling’s history and they would learn just how many moves Nova created and apparently the best ways to get on-line prescriptions. I feel Nova had a great idea there and every week I will assign a book or DVD for you to check out and learn from. They are not only educational but very entertaining.

Batista Unleashed was one of those autobiographies that was just simply there. It was like the books for Kurt Angle, Edge and Matt & Jeff Hardy. They weren’t really needed, and didn’t leave any lasting remembrance. Batista’s childhood and youth is a fascinating enough story but his rise to the top of the wrestling business isn’t anything overly exciting. He does come out and admit that he knows he got where he is due to his look and body, which shows he doesn’t hold any false ideas. Batista comes off as a very humble and good person in this book. In fact it seems as if it wasn’t even his idea for the book, rather the idea of WWE. The supposed dirty details and dirt that were to be in the book don’t seem as scandalous as supposedly hyped. His relationship with Melina isn’t gone into the detail one would expect. And he doesn’t get into any real reason why he and Booker T. had their fist fight a couple summers ago. He does rip into Mark Henry a fair bit about his injury though. His chapter on road stories is mildly entertaining, but doesn’t hold a candle to anything mentioned by Rhodes, Flair or Jericho. He does have one funny bit about sending a drunk girl down to Edge’s room only for Edge to throw the now naked woman and her clothes out in to the hallway. He shows great admiration for all three of his old Evolution teammates, and not of it comes off as forced or politically-charged.

Overall I still found it be an entertaining read, and very easy to fly through. It wasn’t close to the best of the pantheon of wrestling books out there, but it sure wasn’t Rock, Chyna or Moolah levels either. If you are a fan of other wrestling biographies in general then give this a look; just don’t read right after A Lion’s Tale like I did.

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