By Paul Marshall
Live from Pittsburgh, PA
Welcome to Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Armageddon Report! We’re kicking things off with MVP v. Rey Mysterio or the United States Championship! Keep it here for updates, which will occur after each match!
United States Championship: Rey Mysterio v. MVP ©
The bell rings and MVP takes a low dive, but Rey backs up quickly. Rey calls for a test of strength, but Porter takes him down. They separate once again and Porter tries to gain control, but Rey does an arm drag. He follows up with a hurrancurana and a small package for one! Rey is in control, telegraphing Porter’s move and he flips him out of the ring. Rey looks to fly, but the referee halts him because Porter had his hand on the rope outside the ring. Porter breathes a sigh of relief, but Rey hops over the referee and nails the plancha anyway. Porter gets his first offense in of the night via dropping Rey’s head face first in the turnbuckle! That gets two and Porter locks in a chinlock. He gets a one count in another attempt before going back to the chinlock. Rey is back up, but Porter sweeps the leg. He takes Mysterio out with a stiff kick for two! Porter utilizes a ground and pound technique before going back to the chinlock, using the knee for leverage. Porter nails a jawbreaker over the knee for a two count!
“We Want Matt†chants from the crowd now as Porter continues on with the chinlock, with an armbar applied. Rey kicks Porter in the head to get out of the move, but Porter slams him down on his head and neck again for two! Porter has Rey in the air and he drops him on his feet! Rey flips Porter and both men are down! The referee is at eight and Mysterio uses his feet to wear down Porter! Cross body off the middle rope gets two! Porter has Rey on the ring apron and Mysterio hops on the turnbuckle and SLIPS OFF, still landing on Porter! Rey tweaked his knee. He hops the turnbuckle using his backside doing a senton for two! Rey runs into a clothesline and Porter has Rey up on the top rope! Rey blocks the move, but Porter nails a right, knocking Rey to the apron. Both men are back on top and Rey nails a top rope hurrancurana for two! Rey runs into a boot to the face for two! Porter is beside himself for a moment. He looks for a suplex, but Rey counters for two! MVP is hanged up at the middle rope. 619 misses and Porter rolls out of the ring. Rey nails a hurrancurana on Porter on the outside! Rey is back inside the ring, but Porter stays out of the ring purposely and is counted out.
Winner: Rey Mysterio via countout **3/4
Still United States Champion: MVP
Post match, Rey nails Porter with the 619!
Backstage, Todd Grisham has Jeff Hardy up for an interview. This is Jeff’s biggest match of his career. He respects Triple H, but he does not fear him. It is time for him to step up and take it to the next level.
We go to Joey Styles and Tazz for commentary for our next match. Hell, Fire, and Brimstone light up the Mellon Arena as Kane is out. He’s followed by the ECW Champion, CM Punk.
CM Punk & Kane v. Big Daddy V & Mark Henry w/Matt Striker
CM Punk and Mark Henry begin things off. Henry shoves Punk to the mat and he trash talks him. CM Punk uses his swift kicks to no avail. Henry misses a charge and is sent to the turnbuckle. Punk goes to work on Henry and he tags in Kane. Huge uppercut by Kane and he unleashes pain in the corner. Kane works on the legs, taking Henry’s mobility away from him. Punk is back in and he nails a dropkick to the head! Henry whips Punk to the ropes and nails a clothesline. Punk is down as Henry kicks his sternum. In comes Big Daddy V and he nails a big slap. Punk avoids another slap and he runs into V. V dispatches Punk as Striker takes a cheap shot on him. Punk crawls to the ring apron and V tosses him back inside. V nails a military press slam on Punk before tagging out to Henry. Henry steps on Punk’s rib cage before applying a choke hold. He gets a one count with Punk having his foot on the ropes. Henry isolates Punk in the corner and he chokes him out some more. He’s using the five count efficiently. Henry runs towards Punk and he misses! Kane is tagged in!
Kane runs amok on Henry, but is not able to knock Henry down. He climbs the top rope and the clothesline knocks him down. V causes a timely distraction, which causes Kane to be taken down. V gets tagged in and he avoids Kane’s Chokeslam, only for V to nail his double Chokeslam for two, interrupted by Punk. V manhandles Kane in the ring. V nails a splash on Kane and thinks about reverting back to his Viscera persona, but he nails several clubbing blows to Kane’s back and neck. Henry is back in and he gets Kane in a bearhug. The pace of the match has slowed down in the past couple minutes that it is noticeable. Kane tries to cut off Henry’s oxygen in order to get out of the move. He almost tags in Punk, but Henry pushes him to the enemy corner. In comes V and he misses a right hand. Kane comes back for a moment, before getting derailed by V’s clothesline. Henry gets back inside, but Kane strikes with a running DDT and both men are down! Both men tag out and CM Punk takes it to Big Daddy V! He nails two high kicks, but misses the bulldog. Punk takes him down to one knee and Henry interrupts. Striker interferes and gets taken out. Punk springboards the top rope and he lands into a Samoan Drop out of nowhere! V gets the three count!
Winners: Big Daddy V & Mark Henry **
Kane gets inside the ring as Henry and V leave without incident.
Inside Vickie Guerrero’s office, Edge walks inside a pre-match celebration party. Once Edge wins the World Title, her pain will subside for a moment. He gets lovey-dovey, saying that her love gives him the strength of three men. He kisses her hand before leaving. Kennedy’s music plays and we give it to J.R. and Jerry Lawler for the next match! Kennedy has his microphone and he says that it doesn’t matter about anything…but it matters that he beats him tonight.
Mr. Kennedy v. Shawn Michaels
The bell rings and Kennedy urges Michaels to come forth. They circle the ring and they tie up. Kennedy gets the upperhand in the opening moment of the match. Early cover following a clothesline gets a half count. Kennedy is letting it all out tonight, Modified backbreaker gets a two count! Kennedy taunts Michaels at the ropes, and finally Michaels gets tired of it and he takes control! Irish whip is countered HARD and Michaels oversells it, per usual. Green Bay Plunge doesn’t occur and Michaels regains control. Michaels telegraphs the move, but his back gives out. Armbar takedown and Kennedy’s screaming like a child! It looks like Kennedy’s elbow is hurt legit. Michaels exploits the injury, applying an armbar on Kennedy. Kennedy comes back with a closed fist, but Michaels holds onto the potentially injured arm. Kennedy tries to fight out of it using his good hand, and he does with a hard Irish whip! Kennedy spears Michaels out of the ring!
Michaels shoves Kennedy against the retaining wall. He climbs the apron and he STOMPS on Kennedy’s hand on the steps! HAHA! He brings Kennedy back and he stomps on the hand again. Kennedy’s being exploited tonight! Michaels does an amateur takedown and he continues working on the hand as Kennedy utters an expletive. Kennedy is at the ropes, but Michaels continues to work on Kennedy. They almost take another dive through the ropes, but they fight on the apron. Kennedy shoves Michaels back first to the ring post! Back inside the ring, Kennedy resumes control, punishing Michael’s back. He works on Michaels in the corner, but Michaels tweaks his hand. Running knee strike knocks Michaels silly for two! Kennedy does a backbreaker for two, instinctively. Another backbreaker into a backstretch is applied as Kennedy tries to get circulation back into his hand. Michaels is down and Kennedy drops a couple elbows for two! Kennedy nails a scoop slam and he goes up top. He drops, but Michaels has a foot up, which was wisely avoided. Kennedy goes into a chinlock with the knee to the back. Michaels is fighting to get out of it and he gets a clubbing blow to the back. Kennedy shoves Michaels to the ropes and Michaels opens up with a right hand. Kennedy gets elevated over the rope and he finds himself back outside the ring! Both men are down!
Kennedy is back inside the ring and Michaels fights back. Whip to the ropes and Michaels gets back into it, nailing the crossbody and jawbreaker. He scoops Kennedy up and back down before taking to the air. The elbow connects and he tunes up the band. SWEET CHIN MUS— COUNTERED to a back rollup for two! Green Bay Plunge gets countered to a rollup for two! Kennedy catapults Michaels to the ring post. Green Bay Plunge CONNECTS! One, Two, MICHAELS KICKS OUT! Kennedy does not believe it! Kennedy pulls Michaels back to his feet and looks for a DDT, but Michaels counters. Kennedy nails Michaels with his left hand. He flinches in pain…SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Michaels wins! Michaels wins! What a great wrestling match!
Winner: Shawn Michaels ***1/2
Post match, Shawn Michaels looks like he was taken to Hell tonight.
Royal Rumble promo plays.
Todd Grisham is back with Randy Orton. Randy questions Grisham’s use of the word “couldâ€. He calls Jericho a virus and that the only thing that he should be saving them from is empty promises. He doesn’t care if no one is happy that he will be leaving as the WWE. RKO:18 is the code that Randy drops. The #1 Contendership match is next!
WWE Championship #1 Contendership: Jeff Hardy v. Triple H
The bell rings and Hardy calls for a handshake, to which Triple H does, before pulling Hardy closer than talking trash. Greco-Roman lock starts things off and HHH gets the advantage . Another Greco-Roman lock and HHH sends Hardy to the ropes before taking him down. Arm drag by Hardy is blocked by a huge clothesline by HHH. Hardy gets sent to the ropes and he bounces back with a reverse elbow. HHH gets taken down in a frenzy of armdrags. Hardy baseball slides HHH, but HHH counters. Hardy runs the rail and he LOSES his balance! HHH clotheslines Hardy on the mat. Back inside the ring, Hardy looks to deliver a right hand, but he hesitates. HHH SLAPS him down and he implores him to FIGHT HIM!
Hardy gets HHH to the corner and he nails a couple kicks. Whip to the ropes and Hardy slides underneath. Hardy takes HHH down with a low dropkick, followed by a SLAP! Hardy gets tossed from the ring and HHH sends him to the steel steps. HHH works on the back before sending Hardy back inside the ring. HHH drops a couple elbows to Hardy’s back before pulling him back up. Hard Irish Whip sends Hardy’s back the other way. HHH whips him to the other turnbuckle. Hardy climbs the ropes and HHH shoves him off, Hardy’s neck landing on the retaining wall. Hardy is being counted out, but Hardy gets on the apron. HHH gets on the second rope and nails a clubbing blow across Hardy’s back. They fight back and forth and HHH scouts a dropkick. HHH gets a close two count and he gets in an adnominal stretch. HHH uses the ropes for leverage, but the referee sees it. HHH tries to suplex Hardy, but Hardy floats over and he hits the enzugiri. Hardy follows up with a whip, but HHH nails a knee smash, followed by a clothesline for two!
HHH gets a sleeper applied, but Hardy quickly gets out of it. He nails a top rope dropkick, but HHH gets back in control Wraparound DDT by Hardy and HHH is reeling. HHH misses a clothesline and Hardy is on FIRE! Hardy beats HHH ten times, but HHH moves out of the way for the turnbuckle dropkick, which missed. HHH looks for the Spinebuster, but Hardy telegraphs it and he sends HHH outside! Hardy hits the low dropkick, followed by the plancha! Hardy is on top and he nails a cross body for two! Whisper in the Wind connects on HHH for two, again! Hardy is looking for the Twist of Fate, but HHH counters to the DDT for two! Hardy looks for a big move, but HHH counters with a Samoan drop like move for two, but Hardy counters with a backslide for two! HHH whips Hardy to the corner…he misses and Hardy sends him to the corner. Turnbuckle dropkick connects, but the Swanton misses! HHH gets a close two count and he is impressed. Pedigree try by HHH, COUNTERED to the Twist of Fate…NO! That’s countered into a SPINEBUSTER! HHH picks up Hardy and goes for another Pedigree attempt, but Hardy counters with a rollup for THREE!
Winner: Jeff Hardy ***3/4
Hardy celebrates with the fans as Triple H is amazed! He gives Hardy his dues before leaving the ring.
Backstage, The Great Khali speaks a whole lot of nonsense. Runjin says that Finlay will have consequences for interfering in his affairs. The Luck of the Irish won’t save Finlay tonight. Khali speaks more nonsense as his music plays.
The Great Khali v. Finlay w/Hornswoggle
The bell rings and Finlay stands face to chest with Khali. Khali shoves Finlay to the mat and he works on him in the corner. Khali chops Finlay, then whips him to the ropes. He takes Finlay down and out of the ring as Hornswoggle looks on. Khali and Finlay fight on the outside. Finlay moves out of the way and Khali hits the ring post! Khali knocks Finlay down on the apron. Inside the ring, Khali works in a nerve pinch and Finlay is in pain. Finlay gets out of it, but he runs into a kick to the face by Khali. Khali is back with the nerve pinch. Finlay tries to get back up, but Khali is too strong. Finlay gets to the ropes, forcing the break. Khali gets the Vice Grip on Finlay in the ropes. At five, he breaks the hold and he turns his attention to Hornswoggle. He swats him outside the ring and he goes back to work on Finlay. Finlay gets slammed on the canvas and Khali undoes the top turnbuckle. Runjin tries to stop Finlay from getting his weapon. The referee is distracted as Hornswoggle uses another one of Finlay’s weapons in a low blow. Finlay cold cocks Khali with the weapon (can’t be bothered to spell it from memory) and he wins!
Winner: Finlay 3/4*
Finlay and Hornswoggle celebrates.
Dec. 24th, WWE presents Tribute to the Troops.
J.R. and Jerry Lawler are at ringside as we gear up for the WWE Championship Match! The video leading up to tonight between Jericho and Orton plays.
Lillian Garcia does the super special ring announcing for this match.
WWE Championship Match: Chris Jericho v. Randy Orton ©
The referee checks both men for weapons before calling for the bell. They circle the ring and they lock up in the middle. No dice on that exchange, but on the following exchange, Jericho quickly rapid fires an armdrag. Another lock up and Orton gets Jericho in the corner. Orton whips Jericho to the ropes, but he misses him and Jericho nails a series of armdrags. Jericho hangs Orton on the ropes and follows up with a kick to the ribs! Another kick to the ribs and Jericho works on the arm and ribs. Orton gets out of it and he telegraphs Jericho following the Irish Whip. Jericho nails a spinning heel kick and goes for a springboard dropkick, but Orton moves out of the way, saying “I’m not stupid.†He’s stupid as Jericho lands a crossbody on the outside. Back inside the ring, Orton looks for the Orton DDT v. 2.0 at the ropes, but Jericho counters to a Liontamer try, but Orton gets the DDT anyway.
Orton stomps away at Jericho and he applies his patented headlock. Jericho’s fighting to keep his shoulders off the canvas. He fights back up and gets out of it, but he eats a textbook dropkick by Orton for two! Orton goes back to work with the headlock with the added leg scissors. Jericho fights out of the headscissors and back to the vertical base. He gets out of it, but Orton sends Jericho to the corner, but he puts on the breaks. Both men collide at the corner, cracking the heads together. Both men get up at eight and they battle it out with Jericho getting the advantage. Jericho nails some shoulderblocks, followed by a clothesline for two. Jericho nails a flying dropkick from the top for two, again! Jericho with a chop, but he gets sent to the ropes. Orton fires off a powerslam for two! Orton sends Jericho’s shoulder to the ring post. RKO try is countered to a backslide for a close two count. Orton sends Jericho smack dab into the ring post shoulder first. Orton climbs the turnbuckle and he brings Jericho with him. They fight it out as Orton nails a Superplex for another close two count!
Orton looks for another dropkick, but Jericho misses it and he gets the Liontamer almost locked in, but Orton cradles him for two! Jericho nails the bulldog…and he nails the Lionsault on Orton’s knees! Orton nails an inverted backbreaker but he isn’t following up. He readies for the RKO…he goes for it, but Jericho sends him down. LIONSAULT connects for TWO! Jericho can’t believe it! Jericho goes after Orton, but Orton sends him outside, Jericho’s head hitting the retaining wall. Jericho runs at Orton, but Orton throws him into JBL’s lap over the SmackDown announce table! Jericho gets Orton back inside the ring and he hangs him out! Jericho goes up top and nails a top rope bulldog! Jericho waits for Orton…Codebreaker attempt is countered to a turnbuckle powerbomb! Orton lines up and he goes for the Concussion Kick….He misses and Jericho gets the Liontamer locked in! Orton is looking for the ropes…but Jericho moves Orton back to the center of the ring! JBL runs inside the ring and he KICKS JERICHO right in the head! Call it a DQ. The crowd boos the Hell out of the finish.
Winner: Chris Jericho via DQ ***
Still WWE Champion: Randy Orton
Post match, Randy Orton is pissed off because he lost the match, so he nails the RKO on Jericho.
Lillian Garcia is announcing the next contest for the WWE Women’s Championship, but she’s interrupted by Jillian Hall. Her album is the 72nd top album downloaded on iTunes. I pity the people that actually spent money on that. I turn the volume down to 20% and she’s still intolerable even at that volume. Everyone’s covering their ears as I lower it to 10%. Mickie James interrupts us thankfully as Jillian knows that she sucks…so she leaves the ring.
WWE Women’s Championship: Mickie James v. “The Glamazon†Beth Phoenix ©
They lock up in the center and Phoenix tosses James down. Once again they lock up and James gets Phoenix in a headlock. Phoenix gets out of it and she nails a clothesline on Phoenix. James gets a minimal amount of offense in, but Phoenix is too strong. Phoenix nails a powerbomb on James, countering the headscissors, for two! Phoenix works on James in the ropes, heeding the referee’s count. Phoenix applies a neck wrench, but James kicks her way out of it in a way. Phoenix picks James up and she nails her back first in the turnbuckle! James with a rollup for two as Phoneix gets a Chickenwing submission move. James gets out of the move, but Phoenix looks for a reverse suplex…to which James gets out of it. James takes down Phoenix with a Lou Thez Press twice, followed by a dropkick for two!
James nails a neckbreaker on Phoenix, seizing full control of the match! She goes on top and she nails a top rope dropkick for a close two count! Mickie looks for the DDT, but Phoenix counters to the Fisherman’s Suplex for three!
Winner and STILL Champion: Beth Phoenix *1/2
Wrestlemania Promo plays.
Tazz replaces JBL on commentary with Michael Cole. It’s time for the main event, but first we get treated to a video involving Batista, Edge, and the Undertaker.
World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker v. Edge v. Batista ©
Michael Cole announces that there will be no count outs or disqualifications for the main event, that there must be a winner. The bell rings and Undertaker immediately goes after Edge, who wisely steps off the apron. Batista and Undertaker lock up in the center. Batista shove Undertaker through the ropes and they corner Edge! Edge runs away as Undertaker goes after Batista. Undertaker heads back inside the ring and Edge pummels him until Batista returns, before leaving. Batista sends Undertaker out of the ring and he grabs Edge for a Chokeslam opportunity…but Batista baseball slides Edge to the retaining wall. Batista is down as we get Vintage Undertaker across Batista’s throat on the ring apron! Undertaker picks Batista up, but Batista sends Undertaker to the steel post. Edge gets Batista in the ring and pins him for two!
Edge is on the attack as Undertaker heads back inside the ring. Edge nails a spear on Taker’s midsection, sending him back first to the retaining wall. Batista sends Edge to the ropes and on the rebound nails a swinging side slam for two! Batista nails some shoulder thrusts before sending Edge to the other corner. Batista misses a charge and Edge looks for a spear…he spears Batista’s boot, followed by a side slam for two! Undertaker pulls Batista out and he works on him on the outside. Taker rolls Batista back inside the ring and he works on Edge. Stiff kick to the head connects and we get some more Vintage Taker…NO! Batista nails a clothesline, sending Undertaker down on the mat outside. Batista nails a SPINEBUSTER on Edge. And he looks for the Batista Bomb. Edge nails the low blow, followed by the Edgucation for TWO! Undertaker pulls the referee out of the ring and he wails on Edge! Edge is a victim of the Snake Eyes and the big boot for a close two count! Undertaker takes Edge Old School and he hits it! Undertaker looks for the Last Ride, but Batista nails a SPEAR on the Undertaker! He throws Edge outside and he goes for the cover, but Undertaker gets the Triangle Choke on Edge!
The bell rings, but the bell wasn’t called by the referee! Edge hits the bell to distract Undertaker! Undertaker looks at the referee…Edge spears Undertaker for two! He spears Batista for two again! Edge is mad and he brings two chairs inside the ring. He looks to nail a conchairto on Edge, but Batista battles out of it. Undertaker dispatches Edge and turns around to a Batista clothesline! Batista goes on top, but Undertaker crotches him! Undertaker is on top as well…SUPERPLEX CONNECTS! Undertaker crawls for a cover for TWO! Undertaker goes Old School on Batista…Batista catches him and plants him with the Spinebuster! Edge tries to stop things, but he gets SPEARED by Batista. Undertaker drives Batista to the corner as it’s noted that there is two Edges outside the ring! Undertaker CHOKESLAMS Batista and he catches Edge flying off the top rope with another CHOKESLAM! Edge crawls by the other Edge on the outside as Undertaker nails Snake Eyes on Batista. He gets leveled with a Batista clothesline for two! Batista looks for the Tombstone, but Undertaker counters with a Tombstone of his own! The real Edge breaks up the pinfall by hitting Undertaker with the steel chair! Edge covers Batista and the bell rings for real!
Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Edge ***3/4
Post match, there are actually three Edges! It appears that the Ultimate Opportunist had extra help tonight! It hasn’t set in with the Undertaker that he’s been screwed by multiple Edges tonight. The show ends with Edge at the top of the key.
Show Over.
The Inside Pulse
 WWE Armageddon did disappoint a little bit, regarding the craptastic finishes to the three main title matches, but the in-ring action did not slack off as everyone, including The Great Khali, were motivated enough to pull off a decent show tonight! As far as a recommendation goes, I’d wait until the DVD comes out. Not to discredit the effort tonight, but it seemed to only be worth $30 of the $40 that they charged for the show. Not bad overall, but it left some to be desired.
