I’m back again for the third time in four days! On tap tonight is Monday Night RAW! We’re off the heels of Armageddon and we begin the road to the Rumble.
Recap of last week’s 15th Anniversary show. Vince McMahon declares himself the Greatest Superstar of RAW and gets destroyed in the process.
We get the opening video…and it is time for MONDAY NIGHT RAW!
Live from Buffalo, New York
Tonight we have a tag team EXPLOSION! Shawn Michaels & Jeff Hardy team up to take on Mr. Kennedy & Randy Orton. Also, Ric Flair has to defeat Umaga or his career will end.
Lillian Garcia goofs up, in the ring we have Melina, Leyla, Jillian Hall, & Victoria. I pay no attention to Jillian’s singing as Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Maria, & Michelle McCool. We have an 8 diva Santa’s Helpers Tag Team Match!
Melina, Leyla, Jillian Hall, & Victoria v. Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Maria, & Michelle McCool
Maria and Jillian start things off and she owns Jillian in the opening exchange. She tags in Kelly and Jillian gets Layla involved. Sunset Flip by Layla gets two and Kelly tags in Michelle. Michelle beats some sense in Layla, who tags in Melina. I’m not really paying attention to the match tonight. Anyways, Melina puts Michelle in the Tree of Woe, before tagging Victoria. They do nice double team move, but Victoria misses a moonsault, which allows Mickie James into the fight! Mickie gets a two cunt as she takes care of the heel contigent. Mickiecurana is followed by the neckbreaker for two! Mickie nails the spike DDT for the win!
Winners: Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Maria, & Michelle McCool *1/4
Post match, the good divas arrange a four-way meeting of the minds as Mr. McMahon slowly walks down the ramp. Asshole chants from the crowd as Vince relents on last week. He was humiliated…HUMILIATED I say! He asks how everyone could celebrate his downfall. His feelings have been hurt and his heart is broken. Wow…this is sad.
Enter the new #1 Contender, Jeff Hardy. He takes the microphone from Vince and he explains that Vince is similar to the ex-leader of Iraq, Saddam Hussein. Hardy says that since he doesn’t give a damn about anyone, no one gives a damn about Vince. Vince takes and he pouts in the corner.
Commercials.
We’re back and Vince is still pouting in the corner. A referee and William Regal urge him that “the show must go onâ€. Vince stays put as Triple H makes his entrance. William tries to get Vince to leave as Triple H has the microphone. He shoos William away. He tries to get Vince’s attention. He said that he’s officially flipped. Triple H sits down next to Vince and he apologizes for last week. William interrupts and asks Triple H to leave the ring…or so help him that he will get security to throw him out of the building. Regal forgets that Triple H doesn’t listen to authority that well. Vince takes and he tries to get up as Triple H pokes some more fun. Vince is back up and he takes the microphone from Triple H. He talks funny. He asks for Coach. He books a handicap match tonight. Regal & Coach versus Triple H tonight!. He also hopes that something bad happens to everyone tonight.
Commercials.
Triple H v. William Regal & Coach
It’s noted that no one is dressed to compete in the match. The bell rings and Triple H is like “**** thisâ€. He decks Coach and he gets in a fist fight with Regal. High knee to Regal and he rolls out of the ring. Regal takes control, kicking Triple H’s head in. Coach gets a cover for two. Regal violently attacks Triple H, and Coach sneaks in a cheap shot. Whip to the corner and Regal misses the charge. Triple H gets back into the contest and he nails the high knee on Regal. Coach takes a ride as Regal puts on the brass knuckles. Triple H nails Regal with the Spinebuster as Coach puts on the brass knuckles. BUSTED! He forks over the brass knuckles to Triple H and he tries to reason with him. Triple H bashes the knuckles off Coach and he nails the PEDIGREE! Triple H covers and it’s over.
Winner: Triple H **
Recap of last night’s WWE Championship Match. Tonight, Jericho extends an invitation to JBL to confront him.
Commercials.
WWE Rewind: Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly win the World Tag Team Championships last week.
Lillian Garcia is inside the ring. Upcoming is a World Tag Team Championship Match! Cody and Hardcore make their way inside the ring. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are ticked off tonight!
Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly v. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
Cade and Rhodes start things off. Cade explodes on Rhodes and quickly tags in Murdoch. Cody evades a suplex and tags in Holly. Holly takes it to Murdoch, nailing knife edge chops!. Murdoch evades an Alabamaslam attempt and Cade and Murdoch nail a double team move for two! More double teaming ensues as Murdoch takes to Holly. Holly nails a perfect dropkick, which allows both Rhodes and Cade to get in on the action! BULLDOG by Rhodes, pin attempt broken up by Murdoch! Holly and Murdoch take their action outside the ring and Rhodes HITS THE DDT FOR THREE!
Winners: Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly **
Up next, Ric Flair takes on Umaga in a career threatening match.
Commercials.
WWE Slam of the Week: Vince tells Ric Flair has to win all his matches or his career will end.
Ric Flair comes out on the stage and he says that he will still not retire. He says that Vince doesn’t want to see him get hurt on his watch. He rambles on being in the business three and a half decades. He loves everyone and he loves being the Nature Boy. He puts over the locker room and he repeatedly says that he isn’t ready to walk away. He finishes his promo and we take another break.
Commercials.
Ric Flair v. Umaga
The bell sounds and they circle the ring. They lock up, but Umaga is too strong. Flair styles and profiles and Umaga misses a charge. The knife edge chops don’t faze Umaga and he gets in control. Umaga nails a vicious headbutt, followed by a savage kick to the back of the head. He sends Flair to the ropes and fires off a superkick and a big splash for two! Umaga slows the match pace down, locking in a nerve pinch on Flair. Flair gets back to his feet, but Umaga drops him back to a knee! Flair tries again and Umaga lets go. Short arm clothesline takes Flair down and Umaga stomps away. Flair is back up and he is sent to the corner. Umaga misses the charge again, allowing Flair to chop away. Flair runs the ropes and SAMOAN DROP by Umaga for TWO. Flair gets a hand on the ropes. Belly to Belly suplex gets a nearfall as Umaga drops his weight on Flair. Back to the nerve pinch as Umaga nails some vicious headbutts to keep Flair down. Umaga gets Flair in the corner and he takes him down. He picks Flair back up and he nails a headbutt once again! Umaga is on the second turnbuckle and he flies across the ring…FLAIR MOVES! Both men are back up and Flair nails some chops on Umaga. Flair gets the chop block and he looks for the Figure Four, but Umaga is too strong! Umaga nails an uppercut on Flair, which sends him out of the ring. Flair’s head gets introduced to the ring post and Umaga looks to end Flair’s career! REAR END COLLISON MISSES AND UMAGA GOES THROUGH THE BARRICADE! Flair gets back inside the ring at nine and Umaga is counted out!
Winner: Ric Flair via countout ***
Ric Flair gets on the mic and he lets out a huge WOOOOOOO!
Backstage, Chris Jericho walks towards the ring.
Armageddon Recap Video plays.
Commercials.
We get a recap of Ric Flair and Umaga that just happened. It’s time to Break the Walls Down! Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring and he is mad. He has the microphone and he exclaims that he beat Randy Orton. We get the recap of JBL kicking Jericho’s head in last night at Armageddon. He invited JBL to RAW tonight, but he did not show up. Since he didn’t show up at RAW, he’d go down to Smackdown.
JBL shows up on the Titantron via satellite. JBL says that he’s a media giant and that Jericho is low on the totem pole. Jericho rants about how the timekeeper took a Superkick for the team. JBL complains about being compared to the timekeeper. They bicker back in forth. JBL made a huge agreement that if Jericho comes to Smackdown on Friday, he won’t appear at the Royal Rumble. JBL mocks Jericho and Jericho goes low, asking what happened to the guy that was a dominant champion. Jericho calls JBL a wrestling afterthought and the look on JBL’s face is priceless! JBL says that he is coming to RAW and that Jericho better watch out. Very strong interaction right there!
Commercials.
We’re back as we hype our main event! Santino Marella makes his presence, with the lovely Maria. His tag team partner spits in the face of those that aren’t cool, Carlito! Carlito admires Maria and Santino welcomes him to the ring. This team will be interesting!
Santino Marella & Carlito v. Paul London & Brian Kendrick
The bell rings and Carlito and Santino debate as to who will start. Santino and Kendrick start things off and Santino eats a bitchslap by Kendrick! London gets tagged in and Santino gets taken down in a double team armdrag. Santino sends London to the ropes…back and forth London goes and finally he hits the dropkick on Santino! Carlito gets tagged in and he goes to town on London! Carlito talks to Santino and gets caught by London with a hurrancurana. Kendrick gets in and nails a cross body for two! Santino breaks the count and he uses Maria as a shield. Back inside the ring, Carlito hits the backstabber on Kendrick for the three!
Winners: Carlito & Santino Marella *3/4
Post match, Santino says that he has Maria and Carlito “swaps spit with men that don’t want to be coolâ€. HAHAHA! Carlito is confused…this will be very interesting indeed.
Commercials.
Tomorrow night on ECW: MVP takes on CM Punk in a Champion v. Champion match!
Todd Grisham is with Randy Orton. Orton reminds us that he is still the WWE Champion. Grisham hypes Hardy v. Orton for the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble. Orton is not only the Legend Killer, but he is the killer of hopes and dreams.
Ric Flair is with a tech guy in the locker room. Triple H comes in and he salutes Flair. Vince “Meltdown†McMahon goes in to ruin the fun. New Years Eve is two weeks on the line. Ric Flair will take on Triple H in a career threatening match!
Commercials.
Its time for our main event! Out the chute is the Intercontinental Champion and #1 Contender to the WWE Championship, Jeff Hardy! He couldn’t ask for a better partner in Shawn Michaels. Out next is the one-armed loudmouth from the cheese farms of Wisconsin, Mr. Kennedy and his partner is the One Man Dynasty, Randy Orton!
Jeff Hardy & Shawn Michaels v. Randy Orton & Mr. Kennedy
It should be noted that Kennedy is fighting with a huge target in his left hand. The bell rings and Hardy & Orton start things off. They lock up and Orton gets a side headlock. Whip to the ropes and Hardy goes down. Back up, Hardy nails a couple armdrags on Orton! In comes Kennedy and they lock up. Kennedy beats Hardy to the punch, using the left hand…and hurting himself! Hardy nails a shoulderblock and Hardy gets a one count. Jawbreaker by Hardy is followed by the double leg drop. Hardy nails a low dropkick and he is in total control! Hardy whips Kennedy to the ropes and nails a nice cross body and Orton is in the ring! Michaels gets in and both Orton and Kennedy are tossed outside. STEREO PLANCHAS on both men as we take a break!
Commercials.
We’re back and Kennedy misses an elbow drop, which allows Michaels to tag in Hardy! WHISPER IN THE WIND MISSES and Orton tags himself in! He lays into Hardy with several rights and lefts! Orton drops the knee on Hardy’s face and tags in Kennedy! Hardy is back up and he hits the wraparound clothesline! Michaels is in and he beats the snot out of Kennedy! Michaels tosses Orton in and he nails a shoulderblock! KIP UP and WHAM! Kennedy nails a clothesline for a delayed two count! Orton is back inside the ring and he lays waste to Michaels! Orton headlock is applied and Michaels is fading. Michaels gets back up to his feet and is out of the move! Orton sends Michaels to the corner, Michaels oversells as usual. Orton stomps away at Michael’s feet and head before tagging in Kennedy. Michaels fights back, but Kennedy KICKS MICHAELS IN THE HEAD! Michael’s eyes are shut and Kennedy get a cover for two, interrupted by Hardy. Kennedy has a crossface variant move applied on Michaels. Michaels gets out of it ad he hails away with some knife edge chopes. SWEET CHIN MUSIC is blocked! Kennedy goes for the Green Bay Plunge and that’s BLOCKED! Superkick is blocked again, but the enzugiri is NOT! Hardy and Orton get the tags and Hardy hits the SNAKE EYES! Hardy is on fire, hitting the front suplex for two. Michaels and Kennedy take their fight outside. Twist of Fate is BLOCKED…RKO IS BLOCKED! Hardy hits the Twist of Fate! SWANTON BOMB CONNECTS! Hardy pins the champion!
Winners: Jeff Hardy & Shawn Michaels ***1/2
Michaels and Hardy celebrate as the show ends!
Show Over. See you next week!
