The SmackDown Report

Recap of Edge / Edge heads / Batista from two weeks ago.

Vickie Guerrero is wheeled out by Theodore Long. She introduces us to the first SmackDown of 2008. She states that if Undertaker or Batista lay a finger on Edge, then their chances of regaining the title go up in smoke. The Beat the Clock Challenge will include Finlay, Mysterio, Batista and the Undertaker … just those?! Vickie Guerrero then introduces Jonathon Coachman as the new colour commentator, and even Theodore Long is temporary like “the fuck?!”. Personally, I’m gonna give it a little while. I know both of these suck, but I like to think Coach may find his groove on SmackDown.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Finlay w/ Hornswoggle vs. Montel Vontavious Porter
Now this could be quite good. Porter tries for mat wrestling to start, but Finlay makes him his mat wrestling bitch. Finlay slaps Porter but Porter slaps Finlay down! Porter kicks Finlay down but Finlay sends Porter outside shortly on. Porter chases Hornswoggle before then taking Finlay down with a clothesline.

Commercials.

We’re back and Finlay is working the leg of Porter and we’re currently at 5 minutes. Porter clubs Finlay off, but Finlay puts Porter in a pinning position for a brief pinfall attempt. Porter puts Finlay in the map but Finlay gets in a body scissors on Porter – Porter turns it into a brief spine buster and gets a few pinfall attempts over Finlay. Porter gets a facelock on Finlay, but after some time Finlay turns it into a tackle in the corner. Finlay backs off and Porter kicks Finlay right in the head before returning to the facelock. Porter with mounted punches. Finlay goes after the arm of Porter. Finlay sends Porter into the corner, Porter evades the attack and Finlay runs into the steel post shoulder first. Porter with the running big boot and while he covers Finlay, Hornswoggle throws in a shillelagh! Porter goes to use the shillelagh but the referee takes it off of him, and Finlay hits Porter with another shillelagh for the three count!
Winner: Finlay at 9:46

Post match, McMahon comes down to ringside and celebrates the victory with Hornswoggle … McMahon vs. Finlay at WrestleMania? That’d be cool. Finlay and Porter put on a really good match, leaps and bounds above what Porter was capable of last January. Very interesting match too since Porter dominated the majority of it, can’t remember the last time I saw someone dominate Finlay. I’d love to see these two in another match at Royal Rumble or No Way Out, since given the time these two could put on the first match of the year candidate. Six out of Ten.

Commercials.

Michelle McCool and Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra and Victoria
Palumbo and Dykstra start. Lock up and Palumbo with a headlock takedown for a one count. Palumbo forces Dykstra into the corner but Dykstra gets a cheap shot. Dykstra tags out to Victoria and Mc gets tagged in. Mc works the arm of Victoria, Victoria works the arm but Mc gets the flipping arm toss of hers. Victoria sends Mc into the steel post and covers for a two count. Victoria with a arm toss. Mc with an arm drag and belly to belly to Victoria. Palumbo and Dykstra get the tags. Palumbo dominates and gets a big overhead belly to belly on Dykstra. Palumbo catches Dykstra with a power slam for a pinfall attempt. Dykstra with a neck breaker to Palumbo for a two count. Palumbo hits Dykstra with a superplex! Mc and Victoria back on. Mc with a cross body to Victoria. Mc kicks Dykstra off of the apron but turns into a Widow’s Peak! Victoria covers and gets the victory.
Winners: Victoria and Kenny Dykstra

Post match, Palumbo isn’t happy. Palumbo yells at Mc and says she cost him the match. Man, he should’ve just hit that bitch with a Full Throttle, that would’ve taught her. Match was okay. Two out of Ten.

Theodore Long messed up Vickie’s coffee order. Chavo storms in and yells at Vickie for her relationship with Edge. Okay.

Commercials.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki!
Looks like the four Vickie mentioned aren’t the only ones capable of winning the Rumble title shot . Guerrero has ten minutes to beat Funaki, something that any jobber should be able to do. Guerrero with an upper cut and pinfall attempt right away. Snapmare by Guerrero for another pinfall attempt. Scoop slam by Guerrero. Guerrero with a small package for a failed pinfall. Another uppercut gets Guerrero a two count. Funaki gets a head scissors takedown on Guerrero for a two count. Guerrero with a tilt-a-whirl slam for a two count. Another upper cut gets Guerrero a two count. Funaki gets a two count off of a small package. Backslam for a two by Guerrero. Guerrero with another small package for a two count. Funaki with a school boy for a two count, Guerrero grabs the ropes. Guerrero goes for an uppercut but Funaki turns it into a backslide for a two count! Funaki with an enziguri! Funaki off the second rope with a cross body for a two. Funaki tries for a school boy but Guerrero desperately holds onto the ropes. Gory Bomb gets Guerrero the three count!
Winner: Chavo Guerrero at 6:02

Interesting match, with Guerrero keeping to the moves he knows are effective while Funaki just trying to keep his head above water. Four out of Ten.

Batista is walking!

Commercials.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Batista vs. Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder
Batista fights them both off to start. Batista sends Ryder into the corner for spears and goes for a Batista Bomb, but Hawkins supplies a distraction. Ryder and Hawkins whip Batista into the corner – Batista clotheslines Ryder down but Hawkins jumps off the turnbuckle but Batista catches him and sends him back into the turnbuckle. Batista goes for a Batista Bomb on Hawkins but Ryder stops it. Hawkins and Ryder try a few pinfalls over Batista, but Batista kicks out. Hawkins dropkicks Batista down for a two count. Ryder kicks Batista outside. Batista begins fighting off the Edge Heads again, this time on the outside. Batista begins making his way back into the ring but Ryder leg drops him into the middle rope for a pinfall attempt. Ryder and Hawkins with a double team snap mare. Ryder covers for a two count before the pair choke Batista. Double team DDT on Batista. Edge Heads go for another but Batista flips them over – double spear by Batista! Batista tries for a Batista Bomb, but the bell rings!
Winner: Draw

Another match with good psychology, and the time limit factor made it feel like more than a squash. Two out of Ten.

Commercials.

RAW Rebound: Flair and HHH.

Porter is on the phone backstage and says he needs everyone to respect him. Porter says he’s going to make his mark on the industry and … retire Ric Flair. Uh, oh! I smell trouble!

Rey Mysterio is backstage in a very weird gold and black mask. Mysterio says that there is no preparation for the Beat the Clock Challenge, such as studying his opponent. Mysterio says he will do anything in his power to wear the Championship again.

Commercials.

Deuce and Domino w/ Cherry vs. Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang
Yang gets a hammerlock on Deuce to start, but Deuce quickly gets the upper hand. Deuce with a school boy for a one count. Yang gets sent outside and accidentally knocks her over, Yang goes to help Cherry up but Domino attacks Yang from behind. Deuce with a front facelock on Yang before he hits yang with a fall forward suplex onto the top rope. Domino in. Domino with a snap mare for a two count. Domino locks Yang in a cobra clutch. Yang with a hurricanrana to Domino. Moore in. Moore gets a cross body. Moore gets a roll up on Domino for the three count.
Winners: Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang

Meh, acceptable but I don’t much care. Two out of Ten.

Commercials.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Matt Striker as Guest Referee: The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry
Taker with a headlock to Henry. Henry pushes Taker off, Taker bounces from the ropes into a shoulder block. Taker with rights to Henry before he continuously sends Henry into the top turnbuckle, but to no effect. Taker with a boot to the face of Henry but Taker charges at Henry only to get taken down by a shoulder block. Henry punches Taker to the outside. Taker sends Henry into the steel steps! Taker puts Henry on the apron and nails the usual leg drop. Taker with offence to the shoulder of Henry, hooking it on the rope and forcing back on the rope. Taker goes for Old School but Henry prevents it and nails Taker with elbows. Henry clotheslines Taker down for a two count. Taker off the ropes with a running DDT! Taker goes for Old School again but Henry catches Taker in the bear hug! Taker escapes the bear hug and goes for the Choke Slam! Taker nails the Choke Slam and covers for the … Striker’s hand doesn’t touch the canvas before the three count and the time runs out!
Winner: Draw

A lot more enjoyable than it had any right to be. Post match, Taker nails Henry with a scoop slam and a leg drop. Four out of Ten.

Commercials.

Lena, a Diva Search Finalist, is backstage with Matt Striker. Striker says that Undertaker failed to beat Mark Henry and then threatened to attack Striker – but if Undertaker puts his hands on Striker, then Striker will beat him into oblivion. And so will Big Daddy V.

Not too long until Royal Rumble, and I can’t wait! Jericho vs. JBL has been announced for the Royal Rumble – and there’s your designated DQ ending match.

Commercials.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Rey Mysterio vs. Edge!
Mysterio has to win this match in less than 6 minutes, or Chavo Guerrero gets the title match. Edge as the opponent is a cool twist. Edge stalls for time first. Edge spends some time on the outside – but the second Edge gets back in the ring, Mysterio is all over him. Mysterio off the top rope with a seated senton for a two count! Mysterio runs into a big boot by Edge! Edge throws Mysterio to the outside and bides his time as Mysterio slowly returns to the ring. Batista runs down and takes out Hawkins and Ryder! Edge is distracted by Batista, Mysterio goes for the 619 but Edge ducks – but Mysterio with a school boy for a two! Mysterio with a cross body for a two count! Mysterio kicks Edge in the head and tries for a Wheelburrow bulldog, but Edge drops him head first on the top rope … The Undertaker comes out onto the entrance way! Undertaker makes the lights go out and when they return he has vanished, and Edge is set up for the 619! 619 by Mysterio! Mysterio with the top rope splash for the three count!
Winner: Rey Mysterio, with 1:30 left on the clock

Rey Mysterio is going to Royal Rumble with a title match against Edge. Fun little thing, which is all I can think to call it. Three out of Ten.

The Inside Pulse
Finlay defeats Montel Vontavious Porter: 6/10
Victoria and Kenny Dykstra defeated Michelle McCool and Chuck Palumbo: 2/10
Chavo Guerrero defeats Funaki: 4/10
Batista draws Zach Ryder and Curt Hawkins: 2/10
Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore defeated Deuce and Domino: 2/10
The Undertaker draw Mark Henry: 4/10
Rey Mysterio defeats Edge: 3/10
SmackDown 04/01/08: 23/70

A fun episode. All the Beat the Clock matches had something fun to them (Finlay/Porter was the technical wrestling, Guerrero/Finlay was the constant pinfalls, Batista/Edge Heads was an interesting squash really, Taker/Henry had a nice big man match feel to it, and Mysterio/Edge was just fun full stop). The tag matches were alright but easy to forget … The point that matters is that the sell of the show was the good part, and that practically dominated the entire show so this show gets a thumbs up from me. Until next week, have a good one!

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