Beware the Future's Awesome Might: DC in May

Gog HeadshotGog welcomes you to this month’s column. With the help of CBR we are looking ridiculously far ahead to DC’s May releases. Don’t tell anyone, but I think this Final Crisis thing might be a big deal.

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BEWARE THE FUTURE’S AWESOME MIGHT

DC UNIVERSE: ZEROAlright, everybody, I you’re your help on this one. Should I be buying this book? One the one hand, I haven’t read Countdown in months and months and this is sort of the conclusion of that series, right? So it probably will be a bit intertwined with that, yes? Thus, not something I should buy.

On the other, I am going to roll the dice on Final Crisis and this is a lead in to that, if I understand correctly. So, am I setting myself up for confusion with Final Crisis if I don’t buy this?

Also, how do you think this book fits in with Zero Hour?

FINAL CRISIS #1I think J.G. Jones is an excellent artist, both cover and interior wise. That having been said, if this…

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…is the final (teehee) cover for #1, I’m pretty darn underwhelmed.

Still, it just occurred to me that this book reunites the team that brought us Marvel Boy. I know for the pure DC fanatics out there that does not mean much of anything, but believe me when I say it is a very good thing.

HUNTESS: YEAR ONE #1 & 2Umm…what is Ivory Madison the breakout writer of? I know that she’s part of the Red Room Writing Society but I confess I don’t quite know what that is and I can’t find any credits for her beyond that.

Perhaps I’m just being a little cranky though since I so tired of this Year One blitz and it has barely begun.

RANN/THANAGAR: HOLY WAR #1Yay! The perfect book for me not to give a damn about buying, reading, even looking at! Thank you, DC. Thank you.

THE WAR THAT TIME FORGOT #1And look at this! Another thanks to you, DC! My Jason Amoeba Todd jokes were growing stale and viola! You gift me a new Bruce Jones series to update my act. I should get enough juice from this baby to last me for months!

TITANS #2Why is Cyborg the only person mentioned in the solicits not on the cover? And why, in recent publicity for the book, is Cyborg not mentioned at all? I know he’s got his own special coming up, but…that’s still weird, right?

TEEN TITANS #59
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I gotta be honest, I kind of love the new Persuader’s (that is Persuader, yes?) costume. It is just so bizarrely made I can’t help but appreciate it. I imagine Barrows bringing in his sketches to editorial. They look them over and someone says, “They’re good, but…they’re missing something.”

And Barrows says, “What if I cut Persuader’s pants lower in one spot so you can see her navel?”

Then there is a mumbling throughout the room and the same member of editorial nods and says, “Yes…yes, that will do nicely.”

“Oh, and that woman in magenta? I’ll make sure you sure her costume is cut so you can see the straps of her underwear.”

TEEN TITANS: YEAR ONE #5Remember that time that Roy and Donna dated in Titans? When she got her memory wiped?

Yeah…that was way creepy. Thankfully, DC is letting us experience that feeling all over again, only with them being kids.

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Cool cover though.

SALVATION RUN #7
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It…it’s like looking in a mirror.

GREEN ARROW/BLACK CANARY #8
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Just a brilliant cover there.

The news of Mike Norton filling in for Chiang (way talented though he is) is a bit disappointing though.

Also, what the hell is DC doing with Ghul? He’s back, but dying, then he’s in the body of his newly revealed son, then he’s drugged, perceived crazy, and looked away deep in Arkham, and now he’s back and menacing GA and BC. In five months!

BATMAN: GOTHAM AFTER MIDNIGHT #1Look, it is a Scarecrow story!

But will it be a good Scarecrow story?

Hey, it is bound to happen eventually, right?

Good luck with that, Misters Niles and Jones.

BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS #7
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Is that blond guy over Metamorpho’s shoulder licking the glass? Is so, good for him, finding time to indulge his hobbies while attempting to restrain a superhero.

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #48I’m liking this book for basically the first time ever, but…

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…really? Are we sure we want to go there?

Also, how big is that guy’s fist and/or how small is Batman’s head?

BATMAN #677
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There’s an Artemis joke to be made here, I’m just having a really hard time putting it together.

ROBIN #174Here’s the problem with the Spoiler reveal. There are two possible outcomes and neither is a 100% happy making.

Outcome #1: It is Stephanie. She’s back, so that’s cool. But, not much of a mystery, eh?

Outcome #2: It is not Stephanie. Neat, a mystery. But, why should we care if it is not Stephanie. And, who can you make it so we won’t feel like we never stood a chance of figuring it out.

By the way, my money is on Zoanne as Spoiler. Except she’s not white and the character in Gotham Underworld totally was. Umm…maybe not then.

CATWOMAN #79
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What do you think the chances of this cover, complete with “SEX” in big neon letters on it, actually making it to the stand unedited? My guess is “slight”.

BLUE BEETLE #27All together now, “Awwwww, young love.”

BIRDS OF PREY #118
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Whose art style does this cover remind me of? Any guesses? I keep wanting to say Glenn Fabry, but that’s not quite right, is it? Can you place it for me?

CHECKMATE #26Whoa, whoa, whoa! WHOA! Not cool! You see Bruce Jones writing a book I wouldn’t buy anyway equals potential for humor. Bruce Jones writing Checkmate though? That’s just mean spirited, DC. Not okay.

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Also, for a cover featuring both an explosion and a helicopter, it really isn’t all that interesting, is it?

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #24I love the Black Mercy and all, but…isn’t just everywhere these days?

JSA CLASSIFIED #38Hey, I thought they said that last month’s issue was the last for this series.

That’s cool to see it is not though. It is a good chance to give the spotlight to see the JSA’s less represented characters that JSA: C still hadn’t got to. Like Obsidian or Sand or… Wildcat? Oh, fine! Just screw you then!

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #21
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I just love that DC had the stones to make Mario Mario a big villain during Final Crisis.

Also, the answer to the question, “Who does he [Human Flame] hate more than anything in the universe>?” is Martian Manhunter. Don’t mean to spoil that or anything, but it totally is.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #16I know he’s the bad guy and everything, but…

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…doesn’t Gog just look so lovable here? And really tall?

SHADOWPACT #25Ha! In your face! Checkmate outlasted you, Shadowpact! HA!

Although, isn’t cancellation better than being written by Bruce Jones?

No worries, though, Shadowpact fans, you can still talk to the team through your Ouija board.

BATMAN: JEKYLL AND HYDE TPI know you’re thinking: a Two-Face book drawn by Jae Lee? That sounds awesome. Wrong.

It is pretty, but not pretty can make up for the lousy story it is serving.

THE LOST BOYS: REIGN OF FROGS #1File under things I’d never even have pondered happening.

ASTRO CITY: THE DARK AGE BOOK ONE HC YAY! Love me some Astro City and check the cover.

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Nice job there Ross.

DEMO TPIf you don’t own this already, you have to buy this when it comes out. It is compulsory.

SCALPED #17Buy this book. Buy 12 of them.

JLA TROPHY ROOM: Superman’s Cape and Belt Prop Replica Set300 dollars? What a bargain! Who needs dignity anyway?

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