The SmackDown Report

The Y2J countdown kicks us off, and tonight it’s the Highlight Reel with special guest Batista. And in case you didn’t know, he’s the Special Guest Referee for HBK vs. Batista at Backlash. Not too sure what exactly I think of his addition going as far as guest referee, even though his part in the feud so far has been well done and the special guest referee spot is a logical extension of his part, but I’m confident that it’ll lead to something good. Jericho wishes Batista luck in his match against Undertaker tonight. Jericho brings up the fact that Batista thinks Michaels is a phoney, enjoyed retiring Ric Flair, and has actually relished all the backstage politics. Batista says he doesn’t remember Jericho to speak on his behalf, and Jericho asks if he can vocalize his opinions, but Batista isn’t happy about Jericho’s involvement and doesn’t see where Jericho fits in to it all. Jericho asks why Batista is upset over Michaels having retired Ric Flair, and says that Batista wanted to retire Ric Flair himself. Certainly a valuable idea. Jericho says he wanted Michaels to loose at WrestleMania to Batista could beat Flair for the torch, and it’s gotten at Batista that Flair picked Michaels over him. Jericho recalls the emotion between Flair and Michaels at the Farewell Speech, seeing their emotion in their eyes, but Batista didn’t even remove his sunglasses during the entire segment. Jericho says he knows he’s correct, and asks the crowd – which gets a good reaction, so Batista nails Jericho with the Batista Bomb. Another good segment for the feud; I have to admit, the main event storylines so far this year have been really well done. Feud of the Year is going to be a tough one if this ball keeps rolling.


Brief hype for the King of the Ring next week on RAW. If they’re going to do the entire tournament in one night, then I suppose a three hour edition of RAW is the best place that they could do it.

Matt Hardy is on commentary for the following match. Has Hardy’s voice changed?

Tommy Dreamer vs. Montel Vontavious Porter
Porter taunts Dreamer to start. Lock up and Dreamer shoves Porter away. Dreamer with punches to Porter, hip toss and arm drag follows. Dreamer with an arm bar but Porter grabs at the ropes. Porter drops Dreamer neck first onto the top rope and covers for a one count. Porter with a neck breaker for another one count. Porter flips Dreamer throat first into the bottom rope. Cole claims that Hardy hasn’t held a singles title (so the European and Hardcore Championships are totally forgotten about now?). Porter with a boot to the head of Dreamer for another brief pinfall. Porter with offence to the head of Dreamer for another one count. Porter with the full nelson variation. Porter nails Dreamer with the face buster, and follows with the Ball In Elbow drop for a two count. Dreamer gets a boot to the face of Porter, follows with clotheslines. Dreamer with a bulldog and a neck breaker for a two count. Dreamer escapes the Playmaker attempt and nails a DDT for a two count. Dreamer lifts Porter up but Porter slides down and sends Dreamer shoulder first into the steel post, and follows with the corner big boot for the three count.
Winner: Montel Vontavious Porter

While Hardy’s commentary brought no entertainment to the match, he did one thing which a lot of wrestlers commentating don’t do and he put both men over. The victory helped legitimize the corner boot of Porter’s, which is nice. The match itself was rather bland, not to say it was bad since it was technically alright it was just not engaging. Three out of Ten.

Up next: Hornswoggle.


Matt Striker, Professional Jobber vs. Hornswoggle w/ Finlay
Hornswoggle juggles tennis balls to start, and then chucks the tennis balls at Striker. Hornswoggle uses waterguns. A lot of waterguns. Striker attacks Finlay, but Finlay holds the apron out for Striker – and Striker jumps groin first on the apron – before Hornswoggle regains control. Striker shoves Hornswoggle down and slaps him like the bitch that he is. Striker gets the shillelagh and goes to use it on Hornswoggle, but the referee stops it – giving Finlay the distraction he needs to hit Striker with a shillelagh shot of his own. Tadpole Splash finishes this.
Winner: Hornswoggle

The crowd found it funny at least. -Five out of Ten.

Cole and Coach hype up WWE Kids.

Eve Torres (I think?) is backstage with The Big Show. We get a repeat of all the peace offerings from Khali to Show, including the awesome goat and chicken. Show admits he’s not interested in making peace with Khali – and Show also admits that chicken and goats aren’t the way to win his affection. Show hypes up his match with Mark Henry tonight, and sarcastically adds “we’ll just have to see who comes out on top with that one”. You know, not too long ago, that match could’ve been flat out horrible. But I have hope for this match tonight.


Chavo Guerrero w/ Van or Bam Whatever vs. Jamie Noble
I feel another Velocity flashback coming on. Some headlock orientated stuff starts us off. Noble with a hip toss, arm lock kept on and the pair head into the corner. Noble reverses a kick into a school boy, Guerrero apparently kicks out but Noble turns it into another failed pinfall. Guerrero gory bombs Noble throat first onto the top rope. Guerrero goes after the arm of Noble. Noble off the ropes into a knee to the gut from Guerrero for a two count. Man, Coach is really embarrassing himself on commentary – I kind of feel bad for him. Guerrero still has Noble in a headlock, But noble nails a back drop. Noble with running elbows to the face of Guerrero. Northern Light’s by Noble for a two count. Guerrero with the three amigos, but Noble blocks the third and nails a swinging neck breaker for a two count. Noble with a sharpshooter attempt but Guerrero stops it. Noble lifts Guerrero up but Guerrero avoids a Death Valley Driver or Fisherman’s Gutbuster. Guerrero drops Noble throat first into the top rope; Frog Splash ends it.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero

Bodyguard dude slams Noble afterwards. Hm. Match had some moments, and looked like it could’ve gotten a better match had it kept going. But it didn‘t keep going, so that solves that dilemma. Three out of Ten.


My Foxtel screws up for a while, but I’m positive that I didn’t miss anything.

Mark Henry vs. The Big Show
Lock up and both men try to force each other down, but neither succeed. Another lock up and again neither go down. Henry kicks Show in the gut and begins clubbing away. The pair exchange head butts, Henry goes to kick Show but Show blocks it and clotheslines Henry down. Show slaps Henry in the corner for the big chest slap. Show goes to clothesline Henry over the top rope, but Henry ducks and Show turns into a bear hug from Show. The fans rally for Show, but the bear hug is kept on too long and it becomes tedious – Show begins nailing Henry with rights, so Henry forces Show into the corner. Henry charges into the corner but runs into a big boot. Khali makes his way out and a very impressive Show Stopper Chokeslam ends Henry, but Show slides out as he and Khali begin to brawl.
Winner: The Big Show

Khali sends Show into the steel post then the steel steps, before the fight heads into the ring. Show gets to his feet and gets nailed with a Khali Bomb. Match could’ve gone a bit quicker, but wasn’t too bad either. Two out of Ten.

Still to come: Undertaker vs. Batista. In a nice touch, the graphic has a ‘By Order of Vickie Guerrero’ note.


Cole and Coach hype Backlash.

Recap of the Batista vs. Undertaker feud. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; they could make a hell of a DVD filled with this feud.


Cherry w/ Michelle McCool vs. Victoria w/ Natalya Neidhart
This is Cherry’s first singles match on SmackDown, so it should be interesting. Victoria offers Cherry a free shot, but shoves her down before giving her the free shot. Victoria with a headlock takedown on Cherry. Victoria with a front facelock and follows it with a snap mare. Cherry gets to her feet but shoulder blocked down by Victoria. Victoria with a pretty good slap to the face of Cherry. Cherry kicks Victoria in the gut! Cherry goes for another but Victoria clotheslines her down. Cherry sent into the corner – avoids a spear and gets a school boy for a two count! Victoria kicks Cherry right on the head. Victoria with a camel clutch on Cherry. Victoria tackles Cherry into the corner for some spears, before throwing her back into the middle of the ring. Cherry with some weak shots to the gut of Victoria. Victoria with a big scoop slam on Cherry. Mc distracts Victoria and Cherry gets Victoria in a package for the three count!
Winner: Cherry

I’m sure a lot of people will hate this for so many reasons like Victoria loosing. The fact is that they had a story to tell and they told it quite well, even though it was a very weak match which would have been a squash had Cherry not won. For everyone who whinges about Victoria loosing, look on the bright side – at least she wasn’t the one getting squashed. One out of Ten. SmackDown Diva Standards.

Still to come: Batista vs. Undertaker.


Vladimir Koslov vs. Local Cannon Fodder Jobber
You know the drill.
Winner: Vladimir Koslov

-Five out of Ten.

Recap of Edge / Undertaker – humorously getting the point across that Undertaker is being weakened while Edge is having sexual intercourse and other feminine festivities.


Edge and the Edge Heads are at Ringside.

Batista vs. The Undertaker
Lock up and Taker puts Batista in the corner right some right hands. Batista reverses an irish whip, but Taker comes back with a clothesline. Taker with a scoop slam, elbow drop misses and Batista gets control with spears in the corner. Taker off the ropes into an elbow for a two count pinfall from Batista. Taker with a running DDT to Batista for a two count. Taker with shoulder blocks to Batista. Taker goes for Old School but Batista prevents it and nails a short arm clothesline for a two count. Batista irish whips Taker and both men clothesline each other as we head to a commercial break.


We’re back and the pair are exchanging blows in the corner. Taker gets the advantage and hooks Batista’s arm on the bottom rope, letting it go near the disqualification five count. Taker with shots to the shoulder of Batista in the corner, following up with an Old School attempt but Batista blocks it and tries for a superplex. Taker blocks it by pushing Batista off, but Batista is right back up and nails Taker with the superplex! Batista hooks the leg for the two count. Taker with head butts to the weakened shoulder, before he nails Old School! Taker throws Batista outside so he can set him up on the apron for the usual offence. Back in the ring, Taker goes for a Tombstone but Batista slides behind and nails Taker with the spear. Batista covers for a two count. The pair back up and they begin exchanging shots, with the crowd behind Taker. Batista clotheslines Taker outside. Taker slams Batista into the steel steps. The pair continue brawling on the outside … but remain outside through the ten count.
Winner: Draw

The two continue fighting even after the match has ended. Taker sends Batista face first into the announcer’s table and the pair fight over to Edge’s position – where Edge grabs Edge and tosses him into the frey! Batista and Taker fight, temporarily stopping to take out Hawkins and Ryder, before going back to fighting themselves. In the ring, Ryder, Hawkins, Guerrero and the Bodyguard dude try to save Edge from Taker and Batista – Edge escapes onto the entrance way and Vickie Guerrero is wheeled on out. Vickie isn’t happy over Batista and Undertaker fighting three audience members (Edge, Hawkins and Ryder). Vickie announces another match between Taker and Batista, this time for the World Heavy Weight Championship! Hopefully that match will be better than their through the motions effort tonight. Though, even when these two were just going through the motions and produced the weakest match between them to date, they still have an alright match. Four out of Ten.

Montel Vontavious Porter defeats Tommy Dreamer: 3/10
Hornswoggle defeats Matt Striker: -5/10
Chavo Guerrero defeats Jamie Noble: 3/10
The Big Show defeats Mark Henry: 2/10
Cherry defeats Victoria: 1/10
Vladimir Koslov Squash: -5/10
Batista and The Undertaker wrestle to a draw: 4/10
SmackDown 18/04/08: 4/70

No real reason to check out this show unless you need to see the Jericho / Batista segment, otherwise it’s just there. Hopefully next week’s will be better, but no guarantee that it will. Until next week!