Welcome to the column that does not give out money. Before you click the X in the top right hand corner, hear me out. Vince gave away a million dollars on RAW on Monday, and the crazy SOB is doing so again next Monday. Too bad the first giveaway didn’t persuade people to tune in. It won’t work next week either, so look for ratings to drop into the high 2’s next Monday.
I’m calling an audible right now. Normally I don’t take and recap what has been done to death around the Pulse and the IWC, but I said last column I was going to do a little fantasy draft for the WWE and your favorite columnists and mine, from around the Pulse, already posted their picks in their own syndicated columns. You’re still getting my picks, which may or may not surprise anyone. Other than that, gasoline is too damned expensive, Obama/Clinton is the Democratic version of a Dream Team, and giving money away on a wrestling show does not mean good ratings.
Last Time on TMR
Vince flipped, and he continues to do so. He’s desperate for viewers so he’s giving his own money away. I also talked about how the WWE has the same formula for their rivalries and how some of that may be contributing to the ratings decline over the past few weeks. It’s alright to see Trips beat the snot out of somebody, but seeing the same match headline Pay-Per-View for the past three months…not so fine. I provided simple changes to said matches by adding another star that’s over either as a heel or face and tried to play the role of the WWE Creative Monkey.
Wellness Policy Revisited
Jimmy Wang Yang got handed a nice 30 day suspension for violating the Wellness Policy. So you can kiss that push he was getting – wait, he wasn’t being pushed? Nevermind that theory then. It’s sad when someone who is getting their biggest push of their careers (See: Kennedy, J. Hardy, Regal, Orton) and they get suspended for violating the Wellness Policy, only to return with their push intact (We’re assuming that this happens with Regal as well). But when someone that’s on the lower card or a jobber to the stars (See: Wang Yang, D.H. Smith, Chris Masters, and the talents in WWE Developmental) violates the policy, they are at a higher risk at being terminated from the company (See: Masters and the WWE Developmental talents).
This is not the adequate way that the company needs to be addressing the policy. All the lower card stars and those in the developmental territory sees that people like Triple H, namely, are big, as in they have to be using some kind of enhancement drugs. Whether it’s true for Trips, I’m not qualified to say…but it does serve the question if the WWE is really serious about the Wellness Policy. Sure, Jeff Hardy lost a Wrestlemania payday, but I still believe that suspension was more of a media ploy to get the media off the WWE’s case.
Ultimately, this is one reason why we haven’t seen the building of new stars over the past couple years. The other reason is 100% unrelated to the Wellness Policy, and it is 100% related to the fact that the last two stars the WWE blew their money on (Brock Lesnar & Bobby Lashley) practically left the WWE to pursue other options. That’s another column for another time, so that’s all I’ll delve into that reasoning.
The WWE needs to utilize their stars they have if they want to make superstars out of them. Take John Cena as the prime example. No one expected him to be nothing more than comedic relief, especially during his time as the Doctor of Thuganomics. Cena broke through the glass ceiling and is practically par to Stone Cold and the Rock in terms of fan base (even if it’s mostly women and kids) and is always striving to get better in the ring. Who else can carry the likes of Umaga, JBL, and the Great Khali in watchable matches? They have Montel Vontanious Porter, Matt Hardy, CM Punk, Chris Jericho…I can go on and on. Push someone else into the stratosphere and eventually we’ll thank you for it.
The Draft Is Coming and You’re Dying to Know My Picks
I know last week that I was going to take user comments about who they want to see drafted to the three shows, but when I got no response, you really have no other alternative than to just post your own. I don’t blame anyone, there was a forum post about the issue, so people jotted their information down. Anyhow, here’s what I hope happens in this year’s draft… I’m doing this as if the brand agreement between ECW and SmackDown is no longer valid, which will be sooner than later most likely.
From RAW to SmackDown
Umaga
William Regal (once his suspension is over)
Lance Cade
Beth Phoenix
Maria
From RAW to ECW
Val Venis
Charlie Haas
From SmackDown to RAW
Undertaker (yes he’s “banned”, but you and I both know that there will be shenanigans with this)
Montel Vontanious Porter
Finlay
Natalya Neidhardt
Michelle McCool
From SmackDown to ECW
Vladimir Koslov
Shannon Moore
Jimmy Wang Yang (once his suspension is over)
From ECW to RAW
CM Punk
Kane
From ECW to SmackDown
Chavo Guerrero
Armando Estrada
Elijah Burke
RAW loses two upper midcard talents and the best women’s wrestler in the entire company while SmackDown loses one main eventer and two upper midcard talents, as well as two of SmackDown’s finest divas. Venis and Haas gets sent to ECW to train the cream of the crop that’s in the C-Show, while Vladimar Koslov gets shunted to ECW because he’s the blandest wrestler I’ve seen. CM Punk and Kane have no business being on the C-Show as they are definitely A-Show material. Punk’s outings on RAW have been awesome to watch and I’d love an extended Jericho/Punk feud. It’s almost a wet dream for the ROH elitists. Chavo Guerrero and Armando Estrada moving to SmackDown helps with them being shown in Hispanic homes when SmackDown moves to My Network TV and Elijah Burke can handle the B-Show competition.
It screams “SmackDown gets raped again”, but in all reality, when you look at the shows, RAW is the #1 show on cable, plain and simple. SmackDown is the #1 show on broadcast TV, plain and simple. ECW is an afterthought and it’s critical if they stay on Sci-Fi after their contract expires, or it’ll be the new “Heat with a Championship”. SmackDown can make their stars stand out slightly better than RAW can, mainly because RAW has Triple H stinking up the top card and everyone knows he’s not going to SmackDown. Neither is Cena, neither is Jeff Hardy.
This Week on the Pulse
PK and Pulse Glazer shine in on their Fantasy Draft Picks for the upcoming 2008 WWE Draft.
Bambi Weavil talks about TNA Slammiversary.
Mark Allen hypes up the week from the Titan Towers.
Blatt gets Extreme.
Scott Keith gets more fan mail than anyone else I know.
Finally
If you’re a good essay writer, I urge you to check out the contest sponsored by former WWE Diva, Terri Runnels. You can win the former diva’s house plus a cool $100K to make the world a better place.
That’s all from me, see you Monday when we get RAW again! Uno, Dos, Adios!
