– I had originally done this one right after I returned and planned on getting it out then, however I decided to go with last year’s Vengeance in preparation for One Night Stand. But here we are, and here it is.
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The NeelDown: WWE One Night Stand 2008
– From San Diego, California
– Your hosts are JR, King, Cole & Foley
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Jeff Hardy v. Umaga – Falls Count Anywhere
Umaga goes in control to start after a charge by Hardy meets elbow. Hardy soon recovers and lands the whisper in the wind for two. A plancha attempt is caught and he gets slammed down BULLDOZER STYLE. Jeff is able to dump him with the old “pull down the ropes” trick, and he follows that up with a plancha that connects, and he covers out there for two. I had already forgotten that this was a falls count anywhere match, shows me enthusiasm. Outside, Umaga launches him into the crowd and they brawl in there, and head back into some type of parking lot area where Umaga no-sells some random scenery weapon shots and boots him in the mug for two. Hardy retrieves a fire extinguisher and is finally able to spray him and they head backstage where some more garbage brawling follows, including Jeff getting a clothesline off of some steps for two. Umaga then dominates and slams him into various garbage cans, and outside into vehicles. They both go up a ladder connected to a truck out there and Hardy boots him off, then jumps off the top of the truck connects with the Swanton, as anticipated, for the pin. However, the camera only shows him jumping off, the actual landing wasn’t shown, and likely there was a protected pad for him to land on. This was like a garbage WWF Hardcore Championship match relived 10 years later. I guess it served its purpose as an opener though (camera work on the ending included). (*3/4)
Winner: Jeff Hardy
CM Punk v. Chavo Guerrero v. Tommy Dreamer v. John Morrison v. The Big Show – Singapore Can Match
So there are four poles in the corners that have a cane on them. They all go after Show to start and all get pummeled. He takes turns slamming everybody but the SLOWEST ELBOW DROP EVER misses and Morrison kicks him down. Dreamer DDTs him down setting up Chavo to add the Frog Splash. All four of them retrieve the canes now and go to work on Show. Dreamer and Punk are able to use their canes as a pole to shove him out of the ring, which was obviously heavily assisted by Show falling backwards.
Now that Show’s gone Chavo and Punk brawl to the outside which Punk gets the upperhand of, and he slingshots Chavo across and over the Spanish table. Punk hands the cane to San Diego Charger Shawn Merriman, who is your first row celebrity du jour, and he wacks Chavo with it pretty good. Ah, teamwork. Meanwhile Show is back and he’s dominating Morrison on the outside  The Miz comes out to try to help his partner, but gets tossed aside. Show stupidly goes after him instead by picking up the steps, but Morrison canes him from behind to take him down. Back inside Punk catches Chavo with a snap powerslam for two. Morrison attacks him, but then gets taken down by Chavo after a pumphandle slam while using the cane, which sounds stupid but actually came off pretty cool. Dreamer is wearing the official One Night Stand t-shirt and white pants, of course.
Dreamer counters a GTS and slams him down to apply a Texas Cloverleaf, that submission machine. Pesky Morrison breaks that up with a cane shot as Show, wherever he is, is now bleeding. Chavo fights off a superplex attempt by Morrison but is met with running knee by Punk. While they battle up there, Chavo gets up and slams them down in a Tower of Doom sequence. Everybody’s down and TBS makes his triumphant return, wacking on Miz and Bam Neely. Morrison tries a plancha onto him, but he is met with cane shots. Back inside Show kills everyone with a cane and a Chokeslam and yet another cane shot to Dreamer gets the pin and the #1 contendership for Big Show. Let me go ahead and say that I’m about to piss myself in excitement for that epic ECW Championship match. The stuff that didn’t include Show was good and fun, but the concentration on him at the beginning and end REALLY dulled it, not to mention the extra 5 minutes just to finish off Dreamer. (**1/4)
Winner: The Big Show
– More cheap advertising for McMahon’s million dollar giveaway. Could he shell out a small portion of that, I mean even pocket change even, as a refund for this show so far? Ron Simmons ends up showing up to save it for comedic purposes.
JBL v. John Cena – First Blood Match
They both uncover turnbuckle pads to start and then it’s a slugfest, won out by JBL. He tries a big boot but Cena dodges it and clotheslines him down. JBL goes out for a breather already but Cena hauls him back down and repeatedly PUNCHES THE HEAD. Awkward sequence sees Cena get dumped to the floor where JBL brawls him down. Back inside Cena slugs away but gets elbowed down and JBL big boots him off the apron.
They head up the ramp where JBL grinds his face into the steel barrier. Cena fights back into it but an eye poke and yet another big boot take him down. Cena ducks a chair shot but walks right into a microphone shot. Or at least I think that’s what it was. Inside and Cena fights back with the five moves of death, minus the FU which JBL counters by holding on the ropes and then skins the cat. Of course, that is all irrelevant in this match. Back outside they go and Cena gets fed to the post. No blood. He tries throwing the steps at him to no avail. JBL tries a DDT onto the steps but Cena blocks it and he, well … falls on the steps. Cena nails him with something and tries grinding his head into the steps, but still no blood. He must have finally realized what type of match it is.
Cena brings in a chair but gets it booted into him and JBL tosses him into the exposed turnbuckle. Cena ducks the Clothesline From Wall Street and bulldogs him into the chair. JBL gets a chain that was hidden in his towel and punches Cena in the ribs with it. Another chain shot is countered to the FU, but he’s slow to get up and the 14th big boot of the match gets Cena tangles into the ropes. JBL pulls out a bull whip since he is a cowboy and all, in a really stupid-looking sequence where Cena is trapped into the ropes. Cena kicks him in the groin to get out of it, and like magic he’s out of the ropes, and a chain-assisted STFU ends it as JBL bleeds from the mouth. Well, I guess they were trying to be creative, but that finish was pretty stupid. As usual these guys have no chemistry together and like always JBL dominates for 10 minutes before Cena pulls off the big comeback, bleh. Let’s just not stick these guys in another feud ANYTIME soon. (**)
Winner: John Cena
– As a sidenote, I really don’t know how they could make JBL look like any of a less jobber since throwing him back into the main event picture on the “A” show RAW. First elimination in the 4-way match for the title and first eliminated in the elimination chamber, and then throw him into a useless feud with Cena which he could be perfectly suited to pick up a much-needed win, but he has to job all of them too. While he had the potential to be just as big of a heel on RAW, you might as well just stick him back on the announce table if this is going to be the treatment.
– Orton teases at Evolution reuniting to DAVE backstage.
Beth Phoenix v. Melina – I Quit Match
Melina shoves her down to start and jumps on her to apply a guillotine, which works for a while but another attempt gets her caught and Phoenix gets a backbreaker. Another one turned into a stretch for an attempt to quit, but she knees out of it. Melina gets a sloppy top rope bulldog and then applies the bridge submission that she’s been using, but no quit. I give them props so far. Phoenix is able to crawl outside to break it. Back inside Phoenix hairmares her off the turnbuckle and tries a torture rack then tosses her down and locks in an armbar. I will say this, this is by FAR the most screaming I’ve heard in a women’s match, through quite a bit of experience.
They switch to a chinlock and Melina fights out, and a nice spot in the corner sees Phoenix eat the turnbuckle. Armbar takedown by Melina and she locks in her own armbar. She flips it into a “cross armbreaker”, thanks JR, but Phoenix lifts her out of it and powerbombs her down. Interesting submission sees Phoenix slam her down, then hook both the arms and legs in a chickenwing-esque hold, but Melina fights out and refuses to quit, so Phoenix nearly bends backwards to trap her, which is cool as hell, and now Melina quits. Every now and then the WWE decide to let a couple of chick wrestlers actually wrestle, and, there and behold, they deliver. Easily the best match of the night so far, carried by Phoenix but Melina did her part to keep up. (**1/2)
Winner: Beth Phoenix
Shawn Michaels v. Batista – Stretcher Match
Batista no-sells everything and dominates to start, then clotheslines him out. He dumps him into the stretcher then tries to send him to the steps but HBK reverses it. A “crafty veteran move”, calls Cole. He and Foley are providing the fine commentary. HBK sends him to the post and gets an enzigiri out there, then rams the stretcher into him a couple of times. Dave fights off of the stretcher and goes for an early Batista Bomb but Michaels hangs on to choke him. He loads him onto the stretcher but Dave gets off of it and feeds HBK to the STEEEEEEL ring post, then apron and barricade shots.
Back inside Dave turns him inside out with a lariat and slams him down. Blind charge misses and HBK capitalizes with the flying elbow. Really awkward-looking superkick attempt is met with a clothesline by Dave, who is really pulling everything out of his arsenal tonight. Yet another Batista Bomb is blocked by Michaels, and he slips out and superkicks him outside onto the stretcher. However, when he tries to haul him out on it, Dave is holding onto the apron, and then he just falls off. More stretcher shots to the ribs by HBK, but with the STRENGTH OF THE ANIMALS he is able to power the stretcher the other way and into Shawn. Crowd hates Batista. Back inside Batista spears him and channels the Ultimate Warrior and the fourth times the charm for the Batista Bomb.
Dave loads him onto the stretcher but Chris Jericho comes out of nowhere and tries to encourage Shawn to get back into it, while Dave just watches it. Unfortunately, Batista hauls him back in to punish him more, as HBK crawls around right back into another Batista Bomb, right after Dave mocked the Rick Flair meme at WrestleMania and says “I don’t love you and I’m not sorry”. He wheels him out and is almost to the finish line but Jericho is back and he stops it, so rightfully Dave goes and gets the steps to slam him on, then finally wheels him past the finish line for the win. Would have been SO much more tolerable had they not done the delaying stuff in the last 10 minutes. As it was, pretty small and unmemorable, though I guess this is top of the line for a “stretcher match”. (**1/4)
Winner: Batista
HHH v. Randy Orton – WWE Championship, Last Man Standing Match
Orton goes on the attack first and things spill outside where his luck runs out and he gets fed to the steps. Back inside, HHH goes in control and feeds him to the post. HHH goes to work with the knee, but Orton comes back with the textbook dropkick. Outside again they do and they do battle on the ECW announce table, where a Pedigree and RKO are blocked, and Orton ends up DDTing him off of it to the floor, which draws a 9 count for HHH. Orton removes the floor pads and attempts an RKO but it’s blocked and he gets sent to the post again. Orton takes control again, however, with a clothesline and the stomp.
Orton goes out and gets the steps, then HHH back inside, but he’s up at 9, so he retreats to choking him with an extension cord. HHH is up at 7, and Orton tries an RKO but HHH counters it and tosses him to the floor where he lands awkwardly on the shoulder and it appears to be a real injury and possibly a broken collarbone. He muffed something out to the ref which the camera caught on the replay. Hard to make out, but “fuck” was definitely one of them, rightfully. Looking confused as to what to do about the situation, HHH goes out and breaks the count, then nails him with the trusty sledgehammer to finish it. Well, nothing you can really do about the sudden injury, it actually wasn’t too bad beforehand, but we’ve seen these guys go at it countless times before. (**)
Winner: HHH
– Pretty cool Night Of Champions preview as Orton gets checked on by a bunch of officials and eventually makes his way out.
The Undertaker v. Edge – World Heavyweight Championship (vacant), Tables Ladders & Chairs Match
The big stipulation is that Undertaker is BANISHED from the WWE forever if he loses, and oh yeah, the vacant World title is on the line as well. I’m not really sure how many people are buying into this or breaking the kayfabe, but alas, here we have it. Undertaker pummels him to start, a couple of Irish whips and he lariats him down. To the corner and UT does some choking, and then Old School to take him down. Foley does some nice commentating on the match type advantages between the two, and really, he’s been good all night. Undertaker goes out and gets a ladder, but Edge gets a baseball slide sending it into his face. Edge stacks some tables up at ringside but stalled too long and he gets met with a ladder shot by Taker.
Undertaker continues stacking the tables that Edge started, and now there are two on top of two. Edge drop toe holds him into the steps (which have been used way too much tonight). Speaking of Foley, now he confirms the vicious rumor spreading around the internet that Undertaker will just get drafted to another show is untrue, and he will indeed by gone for good. Edge tires the first climb attempt of the match, but UT rolls in and yanks him off. Undertaker sets up a horizontal ladder in the corner and tries to the snake eyes, but Edge counters and shoves him into it. They both climb up now, but Edge gets shoves off and into the ladder in the corner. However, on the recoil he staggers over and shoves the ladder in the middle over, and everybody and their ladder is down.
They continue to work with the ladders in the corner and this time the snake eyes prevail, followed by UT booting it into Edge’s face. Outside they go and Undertaker wacks him a few times with a chair. Undertaker tries the apron leg drop, but Edge counters it with a chair, and then jams it into his knee. He sets up a ladder bridge from the apron to the railing, which UT tries to powerbomb him on, but a low blow wipes out that idea, and that leads to a chair shot by Edge. Another chair shot, and he splashes him through a table. There is a spotlight coming down on the hanging title, which is a pretty nice touch. Edge goes to climb, but Undertaker comes back in quickly to interrupt. However, Edge pulls a Spear out of nowhere.
Edge continues working on the knee and conchairtos it a few times while it’s wedged in the ladder, followed by even more chair shots to the skull of UT. Edge tries a real conchairto, but Undertaker blocks it with his own low blow, and he follows up with a Chokeslam onto the bridged ladder from earlier. Undertaker goes in to try to climb and appears to have it won, but Edge-look-alikes hit the ring to pull him off. They try send him through a table, but UT sends Hawkins through one, and Chokeslams Ryder through the other. Both were nice bumps. Edge sneaks in and Spears Undertaker off the apron and he goes back to stacking tables in the corner of the ring. He tries to climb, but UT comes in and powerbombs him through the two tables and the whole place thinks it’s over, until Chavo and his bodyguard run out and attack him off. They try chair shots, but Taker ducks them and wacks them each with it instead. Undertaker sets up a ladder and goes up with all of the family cleared out, but Edge sneaks back up and tips over the ladder, sending Undertaker through the oodles of tables stacked up on the outside, and that allows Edge to slowly climb up and unhitch his 5th World title. Edge and the family celebrate with fireworks, as UT is now BANISHED FOREVER, you know. He slowly gets up and walks out to an ovation to end the show. Good main event as usual from the two, with a lot of good spots leading to the shocking finish, and one that actually had me shocked when I first heard the result prior to watching it. What’s sadder for me is that these two have put on a series of great matches ever since WM and they’ll probably be back to piss pour now with the likes of DAVE getting involved again. (***1/2)
Winner: Edge
– End of show.
The NeelDown — Well, this was simply not a good show excluding the main event. Nothing was particularly horrible or unwatchable, but most of the stuff was just “there”. The HHH-Orton match clearly ending pretty early due to Orton’s injury also didn’t help things, and that ended up not really being much of a match. Good main event ending with a nice spot, but not enough to save the rest of the card which was mediocre to lackluster. Not recommended.
