Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of TNA iMPACT!

Thanks for joining Inside Pulse’s live coverage of tonight’s TNA iMPACT!

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TNA iMPACT! 7/10/2008

– Taped from Orlando, FL

– Your hosts are Don West and Mike Tenay

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Robert Roode v. Homicide – Parking Lot Brawl

Show opens up with this, there’s a ref and everything.  They brawl near some cars and Homicide hits him with a trash can.  Of course there’s a trailer there, and Homicide gets sent into it.  Roode hits him with a lead pipe Clue style, and tries hitting him with a 2×4 but Homicide dodges it and throws a street sign at him.  Jacqueline comes in to pound on Homicide and then a masked guy comes in as well, which turns out to be James Storm.  They handcuff him and take him backstage and eventually to the ring where Storm gets the superkick and then they whip him with the strap.  Hernandez makes the save and clean house, backbreaker on Storm.  Beer Money double team to fight back but Hernandez gets a double clothesline and gets the strap himself, and goes to town on both of them until they bail to the ramp.  Sting’s music hits now and he’s in the rafters as usual.  I guess this is a no contest?  They never really clarified.

Winners: NO CONTEST

Doug Williams (Team International) v. Masato Yoshino (Team Japan) – World X Cup

This is the Impact debut of Williams.  Yoshino gets a headscissors sending Williams to the floor where he follows up with a suicide dive.  Back inside Yoshino runs into a knee and Williams gets a scoop slam and drops a knee for two.  Gutwrench bomb by Williams gets two.  Yoshino skins the cat from the apron and springs in with a missile dropkick for two.  Don West says he was “going for the power game” on the missile dropkick.  Wow.  Schoolboy gets two for Yoshino and he goes up top but Williams crotches him and gets a double underhook from the top for two.  Yoshino counters a powerbomb into a sunsetflip for two and dropkicks Williams to the corner, but a blind charge misses and Williams looks like he’s going for a roll up but turns it into a german bridge (awesome sequence) for the pin.  Points go to International.

Winner: Doug Williams

– In the back Kurt Angle yells at the Beautiful People for putting on make-up instead of doing squats.  “I’M A BADASS!” he yells at them.  They say that “the marks out there paid to come see them”.  Yes, they really said that.  They decide to do the squats and Borash is Love’s spotter.  He pops a boner while doing so, like any man would, so he gets paperbagged.  Really funny yet interesting spot there.

– Sonjay Dutt is with the kids at a gym trying to get donations.  He tries “spotting” a hot chick himself, then tries to get a donation from Petey Williams but he says it would be in his fanny pack.  Jay Lethal attacks and the medicine balls go flying.  Dutt retreats behind the kids chanting “Set Val Free” while Lethal calls him sick.  God, what an awful feud this is.

– Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I mean yet more Matt Morgan stuff.

Kip James, Petey Williams & Tomko v. BG James, Eric Young & Matt Morgan – Falls Count Anywhere

For the record, the fact that they’re called Kip James the “MEGA STAR” is about as lame as “Beer Money Inc”.  Pretty random that this is FCA but oh well.  Things spill outside earlier leaving Kip and Morgan to go at it.  Morgan tries a chokeslam I guess but Kip blocks it and Morgan gets Old School.  Yes, Undertaker’s old school.  Tomko comes in to break up the pin and dump Morgan, where outside he tries sending Petey into him but Morgan brawls them both done and Kip feeds him to the pole.  BG and Kip brawl and Young and Williams go into the crowd where Petey locks in a sharpshooter on the steps by the bleachers.  Meanwhile Tomko pins Morgan on the ramp for two.

Back in the ring Petey and Young go back and fourth while everyone else brawls on the ramp.  Young counters the Destroyer and gets the wheel barrel neck breaker, Tomko makes the save but he gets dropkicked to the floor where he tries following with a suicide dive but Tomko hits him with the lead pipe as I guess they found that from the first match when Roode used it.  Petey follows Young out with a rana for the pin on the floor.  Well that finish was about as random as the match.  Boy, that match sure made Morgan look good with all the hype they’re putting on him.

Winners: Kip James, Petey Williams & Tomko

– Post match Tomko is in the ring with the lead pipe but Abyss comes out to make the save.  Abyss picks up the pipe but drops it because he’s trying to not be violent now or something.  And here I was ready to call Abyss WITH THE LEAD PIPE in the ballroom.  Oh well.

Awesome Kong v. Taylor – Knockouts Championship, $25,000 Challenge

This is finally Taylor’s big rematch, for the title and the money.  Taylor tries jumping on her back and slugs away to start but gets tripped up by Saeed.  Roxxi comes down to keep an eye on Saeed.  Commercial.  We’re back and Kong is in control and she’s pummeling Taylor around.  Pirates just beat the Yanks in the makeup game from last month, how bout that All-Star Nate McLouth.  Awesome year he’s having.  Kong tries a splash from the second rope but Taylor dodges it and gets a pair of dropkicks followed by a missile dropkick for two.  Kong no-sells some kicks and tries a sitout bomb but Taylor slips out and gets a low dropkick for two.  That’s four dropkicks in the match for Taylor so far.  Kong shoves the ref down but he’s okay, and Taylor gets a crossbody for two.  Kong nails the Implant Buster but only for two!  She tries another but Taylor slips out and rolls her up for the pin, title and money!  Don  West exclaims “no freakin way!” and Tenay says it’s the biggest upset in TNA history.

Winner: Taylor

– Kaz tells JB backstage that his match tonight is about “pride”, because he wouldn’t let anyone come into his house and piss in his toilet or sleep with his girlfriend.

Kaz (Team TNA) v. Ultimo Guerrero (Team Mexico) – World X Cup

Mexico is still undefeated so far.  This is captain v. captain.  Guerrero outwrestles him to start but Kaz comes back with armdrags and tries a superplex but Guerrero counters it with a front suplex.  Guerrero gets a corner stomp where he does a handstand on the top rope first in a cool spot.  Guerrero hits an inverted suplex off the top for two.  Kaz comes back with a dropkick and spin kick for two.  Kaz gets dumped to the apron where he skins the cat but he botches a springboard horridly and falls on his knee, which gets a two count from Guerrero.  That was hilarious.  West says that happens when the ropes get wet!  The look on the rest of Team TNA’s faced on the ramp is priceless.  Guerrero gets a powerbomb from the top for two.  Kaz hits the Wave of the Future for the pin and now they’re tied with Mexico with three points a piece and International and Japan have two.

Winner: Kaz

– In the back, Gail Kim tells the Beautiful People that it’s about wrestling tonight, not who shakes their ass the best or rubs their crotch against the ropes.  No, see, you have it all wrong.  ODB tells them tonight she’s going to give them a “facial they’ll never forget”.  Wow, how many sexual references can they throw into one backstage segment?

– Quick rundown of the Victory Road card: Lethal v. Dutt, LAX v. Beer Money Inc for the tag titles, Gail Kim v. Angelina, Angle & Team 3D v. Christian, Abyss & Styles, World X Cup finals Ultimate X match, Joe v. Booker for the World title, and JUST ADDED by Cornette: Kong v. Taylor again.  Don’t forget to check back with Pulse Wrestling for live coverage of the event Sunday as well as the roundtable featuring the staff’s picks!

– Angle is once again pissed at the blonds as they are now in a tanning bed.  Quite a luxurious backstage area they have, especially considering that’s not even in Booker’s locker room!

– Booker T comes out to issue a “public apology” to Joe.  Joe comes out and Booker says he respects him and he’s sorry for his past actions, but he says he can’t beat him and gets pissed yelling “WHO HAVE YOU BEAT?”  Booker says he has defeated Rick Martel, Steve Austin, and Chris Jericho.  He says it’s not personal, it’s business.  They shake hands and Joe says he is sorry, sorry for ever speaking to him with that kind of voice, punk!  He says live in Houston he’ll beat him, and here comes Sting.  This was truly a great promo from Booker.  Both men have been Sting’s mystery partner at PPVs before.  Sting says he wants the winner, then leaves.  Great.  Commercial and then it’s main event time …

Kurt Angle & The Beautiful People v. AJ Styles, ODB & Gail Kim

Love starts with ODB and ODB gets a fallaway slam and kips up (barely).  Tags to Sky and Gail and Gail knocks her down with a drop toe hold and armdrag.  Sky tags in Angle so Gail tags in Styles.  Styles slams him down and gets the fancy fist drop for two.  Dropkick gets two for Styles and now Karen Angle and Frank Trigg comes down to ringside as we head into the main event commercial break.  We’re back and Angle is in control of AJ.  Apparently during the commercials Trigg had Styles interrupted.

Styles spikes him with a DDT and it’s a slugfest.  Styles gains the momentum and hits the pele kick out of nowhere.  Styles Clash is countered to a backdrop and it’s dueling tags to the chick.  Styles takes Angle out on the outside and Gail gets a neckbreaker on Love for the pin.

Winners: AJ Styles, ODB & Gail Kim

– Post-match Kurt tries the ankle lock on AJ but Karen sneaks in and low blows him.  Styles then tries a Styles Clash but Trigg comes in to break that up and now Kurt has the Ankle Lock locked in and the blonds paperbag Gail.

End of show.  Make sure you let me know your thoughts … mark.a.neeley@gmail.com