Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time Coverage of TNA iMPACT!

Join us tonight at 9:00 EST for live coverage of tonight’s TNA iMPACT!

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TNA iMPACT – 7/17/2008

– Taped from Orlando, FL

– Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Don West

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“Why, Sting, Why?” is the special wacky title of tonight’s episode as we open with a recap of the controversial ending to the main event at Victory Road.

– Booker T and Sharmell make their way out to start the show, Booker of course with the title belt.  Jim Cornette comes out to say that there will be a rematch for the title at the next PPV.  Before long Joe is out and Booker says he knows while he’s here, for his title, but that he can’t beat him.  Booker continues to out of nowhere be cutting great mic skills.  Joe says he’ll beat him and Sting will be after.

– Kaz on the other hand still has no mic skills and sounds like “that random white guy”.  He talks about letting down every X-division star whose ever set foot in the ring Sunday, and brings up names like Jerry Lynn and Amazing Red.  That leads to …

Petey Williams v. Kaz – X Division Championship

Kaz was last champ in 04, which of course was when he was Frankie.  They go back and fourth to start and Kaz gets a quick schoolboy, which Petey blocks and tries for an early Destroyer to no avail.  Kaz gets dumped where Williams follows him out with a rana to the floor.  Too bad this isn’t falls count anywhere because his team just won with that move recently.  Back inside Petey slugs away but Kaz fights off a Russian legsweep.  He tries the Wave of the Future but Petey blocks it and tries the Destroyer again but Kaz blocks it and gets a neckbreaker for a close two.  Yet another attempt but Kaz counters it with some kind of reverse brainbuster, however Jacqueline distracts the ref.  Impaler DDT gets two.  Williams goes up top where Kaz catches him with a kick and tries the Flux Capacitor, but Petey slips under and rolls him up holding the tights for the pin.

Winner: Petey Williams

– Borash interviews Joe about Sting, but Nash comes in to give him a pep talk, saying he won the match, but Joe says no matter what happened, it was Booker who walked out with the belt.  Nash ends with something corny phrase like if you have nothing left, you’re not a champ.

– Beer Money Inc (still hate that lame name) whip some women in the control room with straps.

– Borash thinks Sting arrives but it’s Styles and Team 3D who come out of a limo dressed like Sting and with masks on.  He then turns to a superhero meeting with Curry Man, Shark Boy and Super Eric.

Matt Morgan v. Jimmy Rave

Well at least now we don’t have to watch the stupid Morgan interviews.  Rave tries jumping him and biting his head but he soon gets pummeled.  Morgan pins him with some kind of delayed suplex.  Christy Hemme comes back out with Lance Hoyt, the “lead guitarist” with a Guitar Hero guitar.  I guess it’s a match now.

Winner: Matt Morgan

Matt Morgan v. Lance Hoyt

Morgan dominates and gets a fallaway slam.  Hemme distracts the ref allowing Hoyt to attack, but he misses a moonsault and Morgan pins him after his fame finisher thing.

Winner: Matt Morgan

– Bunch of the chicks argue backstage so Cornette makes a 10-women gauntlet tonight for the number one contendership for the Knockouts title.

– New talk segment next week: “Karen’s Angle” where Karen Angle asks the questions we want to know.  Right.

– Somewhere at Universal Studios, Beer Money beat down some security guards.

– Commercial note: “Hamlet 2” looks pretty awful but allowing a free ringtone is pretty good marketing.

– Kurt Angle and Team 3D come out, still in their Sting get-ups.  Angle says Sting is tired of all of the young punks in this business who have no respect for their elders.  He says you better believe it because he talked to Sting himself last night.  AJ Styles, Christian Cage, and Rhino come out on the stage.  Christian is looking pretty skinny these days, while Rhino stands there with his hands in his hoodie.  Brother Ray cuts AJ’s rant short and tells him that they’ve been at home licking their wombs after the beating they got.  He says Rhino has no brains and he says he’s known Christian for 10 years and his ego is bigger than Awesome Kong’s toilet seat.  He says it’s going to be a table’s match at Hard Justice.  Christian calls Ray Silent Bob and says the last time he gave an order that someone took serious, he then said “Thank you and please drive through”.  Christian says it will be a 5-man tables elimination match instead.

10 Women Gantlet Match

We start with Jacqueline and Gail Kim.  Gail goes on the attack to start but Jackie goes in control with an armbar as now Angelina Love enters and goes straight for Gail.  Her and Jackie argueand that allows Gail to take them down with a double clothesline, but Love comes back with a spin kick and here comes Salinas from LAX.  They choke each other and Velvet Sky comes in to go after Salinas to protect Love and the blonds double team her.  Roxxi comes in now to clean house on the blonds and Salinas ends up going out.  Rhaka Khan is in next and she delivers an axe kick on Roxxi.  Here comes Traci, and after her Hemme.  She hairmares Traci down and slugs on Gail.  Crowd chants for ODB and, surprise surprise, she’s the last entrant.  She spit on Hemme and splashes the blonds.  After commercials we find out Khan, Hemme and Traci were eliminated.  ODB just gets eliminated by Jackie, and Jackie eliminates Roxxi.  Jackie then gets eliminated.  Now it’s down to the blonds against Gail in the final three.  The blonds double team but Gail fights out of the Lights Out and is able to toss Angelina.  Sky then sneaks up and schoolboys Gail for the pin, as with the last two it has to end with a pinfall or submission.

Winner: Velvet Sky

– Backstage in his pimpin locker room, Booker flips through a TNA program to pick out an opponent to challenge him for the title tonight.  He picks Consequences Creed, and then calls 911 to tell them to bring a stretcher to the Impact Zone as it will be a stretcher match.

– Bound For Glory IV coming to Chicago.

Johnny Divine v. Eric Young v. Sonjay Dutt

The heels double team Young to start and stop to hug (?) but Dutt slams Divine instead.  Divine gets a high knee on Young for two and takes him down with a snap suplex.  Young catches Young off the top but he rolls through with a pin for two.  Young slams him down but Dutt comes in and chopblocks him for the pin?  Yeah.

Winner: Sonjay Dutt

– Post-match Lethal attacks but Divine helps Dutt double team.  So Cal Val comes out to beg Lethal off.  Outside a fan hands Lethal a chair but Val blocks the chair shot.  Dutt then hits the post with the chair and acts like he’s KOed so that Val blames it on Lethal, in just an incredibly stupid segment.

– Beer Money Inc come out and tease at whipping the fans.  They pull one in whose wearing a LAX t-shirt and whip him.  Scott D’Amore comes in to try to stop them but he gets the same treatment.  They head over to the LAX announce table where, in the words of wisdom from Don West, they CREAM Hector Guerrero.  They pull Hector’s shirt up and whip his back.  Finally LAX make the save forcing Roode and Storm to hit the ramp.

– Backstage Angle brags about how Team 3D has never lost a tables match.

Booker T v. Consequences Creed – TNA World Heavy Championship, Stretcher Match

Bet Michael Hayes is loving this main event.  Booker shoulders him down to start and goes to some corner offense.  Creed somersaults into a clothesline and gets a jumping kick forcing Booker to bail as we head to main event commercials.  We’re back and Booker is in control.  He drapes him over the ropes and gets a superkick.  Creed slugs back but falls victim to the axe kick and the paramedics take him out to the ambulance so Booker wins.

Winner: Booker T

– Post match Booker follows him out but Joe pops out of the ambulance and puts Booker in it, and it drives off to end the show.

End of show.

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