For Your Consideration… Smack Down Your Vote

Welcome to week 81.

Been a while, hasn’t it?

I guess I’ll start off with a long overdue apology. I’ve started and stopped about 3 columns over the past few weeks, but it’s been a rough go of it since I last contributed. First, work snowed me in, which kinda cut into my viewing of wrestling. Second, last Tuesday at my law school we suffered a devastating loss when a professor (and one of my mentors) suddenly passed away. That sort of took up the bulk of my time over the past week and a half, but I have found that escaping into the world of Sports Entertainment is the best way to help the healing process.

With that said, since I’m dipping my toe back into the wrestling pond, I’m going to take a look back at this weekend’s Cyber Sunday, a PPV that I was happy to have won the Roundtable for.

For Your Consideration…Smack Down Your Vote

Yes, it’s a lame title for the column but I don’t care. Election Day is this Tuesday and I would like to give a quick plug that everyone who can go out and vote should please do so. Vote early, vote often, vote Obama.

WWE Cyber Sunday was this past weekend, and as the dust settles from the show, I think it’s necessary to look at the choices made not only by the fans but by creative as well. What? You say that it was already done by “The Wrestling Analyst”, Glazer’s Tuesday column? You say that he sat down with Paul and picked apart each match? I say…yeah, I guess so. But, in my defense, I helped Glazer with that gimmick last month and would have done it had I watched Cyber Sunday in time. Sadly I didn’t and Paul was gracious enough to try and fill my large shoes. So now, since I’m not really ready to write the “Why ROH is doomed” article I had planned to and I don’t want to reshape the “Bound for Glory” column I wrote a few weeks ago but never finish, I am going to do what I usually do on a Thursday following a PPV, and that’s pick it apart as an armchair quarterback.

Shelton Benjamin over R-Truth.

I hate Ron Killings. I have never once seen anything redeeming in him. I was glad when K-Kwik flopped. I was glad when his TNA title run flopped. I was glad when his Packman Jones stunt flopped. Frankly, Ron is a sloppy wrestler who happens to have the ability to do one cool spin move and can do a subpar job of rapping the same song on a weekly basis. He’s doing the whole “come through the crowd” bit to be viewed as one of the people, but frankly Scotty 2 Hottie got the hip-hop gimmick over more convincingly. Ron Killings is never going to be a main eventer on Smackdown. There are better wrestlers, better promo guys and better politicians than Killings.

Conversely, I love Shelton Benjamin. Like everyone else in the IWC, I think that Shelton is an incredibly talented wrestler, a great highflier and is finally learning that playing a character is how you get over. His US Title run has been slightly less than stellar but you can’t fault him completely. He was thrust in this lame feud with R-Truth, because in Vince’s mind, any two black guys on the roster must run at least one feud with each other. And when they have that feud, it must be a cultural war. Shelton is the “gold standard”, while R-Truth is “ghetto”. It’s this thinly veiled racism that always taints these kinds of feuds to begin with.

The rumor mill has been cranking loudly this past week that people have lost faith in R-Truth. Whether this is in fact due to his poor in-ring performance or some sinister evil plot to hold him down will reveal itself in time, but for right now, I couldn’t be happier. Look, Smackdown has quickly become a packed house of talent, and having someone like R-Truth bog down the show doesn’t add any value to the program.

Killings is a decent midcard guy who is frankly probably making too much to justify staying in the midcard. But do you really envision yourself buying a PPV headlined by Killings and anyone? Hell, Jeff Hardy’s been around for over a decade and its still hard for people to believe HE’s a main event guy.

Keeping the belt on Shelton is a fine move for the time being, but it exposes a huge gap in Smackdown’s roster. Aside from Killings, there isn’t really another strong midcard face on the show. Smackdown has a glut of cocky midcard heels, ranging from MVP to The Kendrick to Kenny Dykstra. Without a solid face for them to bounce off of, there’s little for these guys to work with. I can’t wait for Mister Kennedy to come back, because a Shelton/Kennedy feud seems infinitely more interesting than Shelton/Killings. Hell, Carlito’s suddenly got a spark, let’s see him try his hand in another singles feud!

Where can the WWE go from here after this match? Since Shelton finally got a clean win on Killings (who had previously pinned the guy a few times), I have a feeling this feud MUST continue © Howard Finkel. Shelton and Killings one-on-one at Survivor Series is a show killer, but throwing MVP in there could spice up the match. Porter, in my humble opinion, is a tremendous talent who could easily be a main event player in the next year or so, and once he’s out of the doghouse I wouldn’t mind seeing him lock horns with Hunter or even Taker. Benjamin feuding with Killings will hopefully get some much-deserved heat thrust upon him, because constantly talking about gold makes him less a big time heel and more of an Austin Powers villain.

Rey Mysterio defeated Kane in a No Holds Barred match

Yes, I hate this feud. No, I don’t know why it’s still going on, so don’t ask me. The No Holds Barred stipulation, in my opinion, wasn’t as promising as the Falls Count Anywhere stipulation. At least with the FCA, you can do the brawl around the arena and have the match end after a crazy stage spot. Instead, we get a hardcore rules match whose name evokes images of Tiny Lister.

The WWE needed to have Rey go over in order to further or even validate the storyline. Mysterio gets jumped and left for dead, he comes back, he fights Kane, Kane loses via DQ, Kane continues to torture Rey, Rey must beat Kane, Rey’s too small to beat Kane, Rey uses weapons, Rey beats Kane, storyline over. In law school, that’s what we call a linear fact pattern. It makes sense beat by beat.

Ah, but something making sense and something involving the WWE rarely meet up. For as much as I dislike Killings, I dislike Rey even more. Why? Because I remember the type of performer Mysterio used to be. I have found the majority of his stuff since the days of the Smackdown Six to be uninspired at best. I miss the ECW Rey and the early WCW Rey. When I see Mysterio, I think of the steroid scandal he was involved in and the fact that he’s been nothing but injury prone since he came into the company. Rey just is not a main event guy, but I can appreciate the value that he adds. He brings in the kids, he sells merchandise and he can fill the opening of a show in the Hardy/RVD slot. Hell, look at his match with Bourne, it was downright inspiring! When Mysterio wants to work and when he has a willing partner, he still has the potential to dazzle. Kane, sadly, isn’t the kind of partner Rey needs.

Making Mysterio a giant killer doesn’t add anything to his character. His feud with Kane reeks of placeholder status. Kane has nothing to do, Rey has nothing to do, so lets throw them in the ring together and have it open a show. Kane will go down in history as one of the most valuable company men in the history of wrestling, and an all around utility player. Glazer pointed this out earlier in the week and its something I have mentioned ad nauseum over the past year and a half.

Where does the WWE go from here? Well, I think we all see that they will continue Mysterio/Kane until it can go no more. You’d think, based on what I just wrote above, that I want this thing to be over, but you’re wrong. See, as long as Kane and Mysterio are busy being boring together, they’re preventing us from having to see them be boring with anyone else. Heaven knows I don’t want to see Kane/Batista (something I sat through when I went live to see Armageddon 2002 and still haven’t walked the same since) or Mysterio/JBL.

Matt/Bourne

Evan Bourne had his moment at Cyber Sunday. He was the overwhelming pick by the fans to face Matt Hardy, and while he didn’t win the belt, he left the ring looking like a main eventer. It did everything I said it needed to do when I wrote the Roundtable. Matt got a win and is now a credible-ish champion and Bourne got to show Vince that he could get over with the fans in spite of his size. Win-win, right?

Sadly, it appears Bourne is hurt, with the rumor being that he could miss up to four months of television. If that’s true then this could be potentially lethal. ECW has been on a really nice youth kick, and I have a feeling that Bourne had a big role to play in what’s to come.

And what is that exactly? Well, Matt Hardy needs a new challenger. If I sit through Hardy/Henry one more time, I’m going to lose it. The next logical step would be to have Matt enter into a feud with Miz and Morrison, but being a singles guy, Matt would need a partner. He would need someone who could stand tall as his ally, and who better than Bourne? Alas, that role will probably now go to Finlay, who could actually benefit from a nice heel turn and main event run on Tuesday Nights.

Where does the WWE go from here? Well aside from the bit of fantasy booking, it looks like the WWE will indeed continue Hardy/Henry at Survivor Series in some capacity. No, Matt isn’t over like the WWE would want, but at least his holding the belt will add a bit of legitimacy to his character. Hardy has value in the WWE, and as long as he can forever be called a “world champion”, he can be a draw. Just like Mysterio and Kane. As for Bourne, I hope he isn’t out long, because he could be THE guy to carry ECW like the company tried with Punk last year. And look where Punk wound up.

Cryme Time/Miz&Morrison

Yeah, there’s the bitch factor that we didn’t see the tag title match. So what? Whichever match lost in the votes was a lock for RAW anyway, and I would rather see Punk and Kofi win the gold on free TV than on a PPV, because title changes are fun and the tag belts switching hands is the easiest one to give away.

With that said, this was a match-up between two of the most over teams in the company, so I have no beef with it being the one picked. Having Miz and Morrison go over and keeping them strong is the smart move because they are the true value team in the WWE. Each guy could be a break-out singles superstar (in John’s case, again) and as a team they could become a draw that might parallel the New Age Outlaws or maybe even DX. Cryme Time are the Bushwhackers in wife beaters. They pop the crowd, they excite the masses but they aren’t going to be main event draws unless their association with Cena gets fleshed out more. In the meantime, they can take a pin and keep their heat.

Where does the WWE go from here? Well, Miz and Morrison will be laying down for DX on Monday, which is fine by me because Hunter and Shawn are former world champs. Should the WWE decide to use a screwjob and let Miz & Morrison actually win, the sky’s the limit for them. They could get tons of miles off of having these two scream about beating DX, kinda like Jericho did when he beat Austin and The Rock in one night. As for Cryme Time? When Cena comes back, we’ll know where they stand. If CTC returns, then they’re going to hover around the main event. If not? They’ll probably job a lot to the Evolutionary Horsemen.

Santino/Honky

Cute, short and almost pitch perfect. Honky got his moment (though I agree that he should have been saved for later down the line), Roddy and Dustin got their pops and the fans got to see Marella get a little comeuppance. The only downside to this whole storyline is that I don’t think fans are really clamoring for him to lose his belt like they were for Honky. Santino is almost too amusing for his own good. The Honk-a-Meter will start getting pops, and if Marella turns face, the game is over.

Where does the WWE go from here? RAW is kinda missing a strong midcard face that could take the gold off Marella, seeing as Punk and Kingston both have tag gold. Santino has no great foil outside of Charlie Haas, but that’s a whole lot of comedy around a belt that COULD be a legitimate title again. Maybe the return of Orton to lead Team Priceless will lead to them beating down Santino and taking his gold for themselves, which could give Manu something to do other than look like a lost, shirtless Mexican gangster from Grand Theft Auto.

Undertaker/Big Show

Yet another match I predicted I would be indifferent to and was right about it. Show beat Taker before so Taker had to beat Show. Yippee. By having Undertaker choke out Big Show after Big Show knocked Taker out, it’s almost as if the WWE is turning these lummoxes into a legit UCF storyline. Well…as legit as the WWE can give us considering one guy is a giant and the other is the living dead…or a zombie…or the Lord of Darkness…or a guy into mindgames…or whatever.

Big Show/Hunter will have some value down the line, as will Taker/Hunter. I feel like once Edge returns everything will fall back in place. This whole feud felt very place-holder-ish, though now it looks like we might see face Khali and heel Big Show, which will send me running for the hills.

Where does the WWE go from here? Taker might do a rubber match with Show at Survivor Series (since its his PPV), and if we’re lucky, this will kick off his final year in the company, culminating in his retirement at Survivor Series 2009. Big Show as Vikki’s protector feels like a weaker retread of the Edge storyline, though if it keeps him motivated then I’ll take it. I’d still love to see Taker/MVP for a little while, with Big Show bouncing Hardy around in a match-up of big names with nothing better to do.

HHH/Hardy

Damn you, generic wrestling fan, you couldn’t have given me Koslov in there? I think his addition to the match would have been amazing. With that said, rushing out another Hunter/Hardy match with no promotion did nobody any favors. The match wasn’t as good as their last PPV outing, and with Hardy getting pinned yet again, its time to keep these two apart.

Where does the WWE go from here? Hunter needs to face Koslov. The guy has a ton of heat on him, and until Edge comes back, there’s no reason to not allow Hunter to try and build a new major heel for him to squash. Jeff can slide lower down the card and face off against Show or even the returning Edge and reap the benefits of having been a perennial main eventer.

Jericho/Batista

The overbooked return to the late ‘90’s wasn’t too bad. On the other hand, the guy who left the building with the title was. I want to like Batista. When he rose to the top of the card, it was exciting. No one really saw it coming and it almost felt organic. Now, RAW has become Smackdown from 2005 and Smackdown has become…I don’t know what, but it’s better than having to watch JBL’s Cabinet.

Dave as champ has very limited options. He will re-feud with Jericho and then I guess could move on to Orton. We’ve never seen Batista/Orton as a full-out feud, though it is one of the few remaining “fresh” matchups that the company can throw at us. Short of Orton, Batista’s other major option would be JBL. Blah. Maybe we’ll get a face-versus-face match with him and Shawn Michaels, though their little feud failed to se the world on fire. And where would that leave Jericho?

Where does the WWE go from here? We’ll see the steel cage match that won’t see the belt changing hands, and from there on out I’ll assume that Batista and Jericho will be on opposite sides of a Survivor Series team. Batista/HBK/Punk/Kofi/Rey versus Jericho/JBL/DiBiase/Rhodes/Kane would be a stacked match-up with major drawing power, but it would remove the World Title from play. Bah. It’s all going to come down to the returning Cena and Orton to take over the main event scene again, which means that Jericho and Dave will have to move further back in the sandbox.

Whew. Done with Cyber Sunday. Next week I promise I’ll be back on track (and on time). Until then…

This has been for your consideration.