The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – August 30 1986

The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – August 30 1986

– This is an important date for me, because this would be my 12th birthday, which resulted in my parents renting Wrestlemania 2 for the party and turning me into a lifelong fan. I started watching NWA’s Worldwide Wrestling in syndication soon after, with the first show I ever saw being the one where Magnum TA’s career-ending car accident was announced, so we’re getting pretty close to that point now.

– Your hosts are Tony & David, with unsolicited help from Jim Cornette. They announce that Wahoo has beaten Tully Blanchard to win the National title, and that belt comes to the end of the line via the Nikita Koloff tour of destruction a month after this.

Dick Murdoch v. Mike Rose

Murdoch wrestles him to the mat and armbars him as Jim Cornette decries rednecks in an ironic bit. A couple of elbows and a brainbuster finish at 1:46.

– Wahoo joins us with his new belt, but Jim Crockett interrupts and announces that the National tag team titles, which were stripped from the Andersons, are being renamed into the US tag team titles and relaunched with an upcoming tournament. Huh. I had always thought that the National belts were just dropped and the US belts were created from thin air, I never heard of it being a continuation of the previous title before!

The Kansas Jayhawks v. Randy Barber & Alan Martin

Jaggers elbows Martin down and drops an elbow, and the Jayhawks switch off with suplexes. Over to Barber, who gets elbowed down, so it’s back to Martin again. The Jayhawks pound away in the corner as the announcers hype all the great teams to be involved in the US tag title tournament, most of whom did not actually end up getting involved in said tournament. Doomsday Device finishes at 3:52.

– The Jayhawks stop by the table to yell at Cornette and he zings Mantel as a result (“Why don’t you shave the fur off this ape you’ve got here?”).

– Dick Murdoch has words for Ric Flair, leading to their match at the Omni at the end of the month.

Wahoo McDaniel v. Tony Zane

Wahoo outwrestles him for a hiptoss and chops him down, but Zane fights back and goes to the eyes, so Wahoo gets really pissed and chops him down for the pin.

– More from Cornette, as he’s got the Express with him now, and he suddenly does a 180 and talks up all the good things that Baby Doll has to offer, burying the hatchet with her. Awesome. Oh, and the Midnights only lost the titles because of a fast count from a crooked referee and a handful of tights on Ricky’s part.

Sam Houston v. Jack Weathers

Weathers pounds away, but Houston gets a pair of dropkicks and an armbar. David excitedly notes that Sam is “one of the leading contenders for the Central States heavyweight title”, as that promotion had recently been acquired by Crockett during his expansion of ’86. And hey, guess who won the tournament for the vacant belt after Crockett fired all the guys in the promotion? Say what you will about Vince, but Crockett took some unique and fairly successful territories and completely gutted them in favor of his own guys on more than one occasion. Bulldog finishes at 3:23.

– Bill and Budro are looking for some competition besides George South, daddy!

The Rock N Roll Express v. Phil Brown & Lee Peak

The little kid at ringside dressed exactly like Ricky Morton is a bit unsettling. I bet he got beat up at school a lot, too. Usually for 10-15 minutes, until his less-talented and uglier friend would rush in and save him. The Express trade off on Brown’s leg and finish Peak with the double dropkick at 2:24.

– Ric Flair and Baby Doll join us to discredit Buddy Landel’s earlier claims of being the real Nature Boy. It seems that after a night with Buddy, women downgrade him from “Space Mountain” to “Ride the Wild Mouse”. Ouch.

Buddy Landel & Bill Dundee v. Vern Deaton & Rocky King

Buddy chops on King in the corner, but gets hiptossed and headlocked, leading to a nice spot where King backdrops a charging Dundee while holding the move. Over to Dundee, who has little luck either, but Vern Deaton comes in and Cornette is all “Well that’s gonna slow things WAY down”. I love this guy. And indeed Bill and Budro casually pound on Deaton and Buddy elbows him down and goes to a chinlock. Dundee stomps him down and drops an elbow off a double-team, and the corkscrew elbow from Buddy follows. Dundee follows with the flying buttdrop to finish at 6:00.

– The Koloffs come out to rage about Ron Garvin, and Tony interrupts Ivan’s diatribe to show a tape of Nikita beating Sam Houston like a redheaded stepchild until Garvin makes the save and LAYS OUT Nikita with Hands of Stone. Pity that feud never went anywhere.

Jimmy Garvin v. Rocky Kernodle

Two jobbers named Rocky on the same show? But people might get confused! Better change one of them into Gregory or Garrisson. Watching Garvin in his prime as a heel here makes it all the more strange that they’d shoehorn him into a face turn in ’87, and that it actually worked pretty well at that. Precious is damn near coming out of her top here and Cornette immediately points out that the other announcers are leering at it. Kernodle gets a couple of armdrags on Garvin, so Jimmy heads out for an inspirational kiss from Precious. Back in, Kernodle controls the arm, but Garvin reverses to a headlock and we take a break. Back with no apparent break in the action, as Rocky reverses to a pretty nice pinning combo, but Garvin breaks free. They trade armbars and Rocky keeps going back to the headlock, which Garvin reverses with a headscissors so as to prevent damage to the hair. Rocky goes back to the headlock again, so Garvin drops him with a suplex and adds a backdrop. Brainbuster ends it. Usual good showing for Kernodle here.

– Garvin accuses Magnum TA of being a male dancer in San Francisco, setting up a feud that would never get paid off.

– Magnum and Dusty retort, and Dusty points out Ric Flair’s “chubby girlfriend” in the front row as a bonus.

Jimmy Valiant v. Art Pritts

Haven’t seen him on the show in a little while. Valiant tosses Pritts and slingshots him back in before going to a chinlock. Elbow and elbow finish at 2:00.

– Tully and JJ are still doing just fine, thank you, and they choose to focus on screwing Dusty out of the World title instead of Wahoo winning the National title.

The Andersons v. Italian Stallion & Henry Rutley

Stallion holds a headlock on Arn to start and holds off Ole with dropkicks, but the inevitable fatal error comes when he tags Rutley in. Cornette notes that Rutley should sue his body for non-support. And indeed, the Horsemen go to work on him in the corner as Cornette goes on a crazy rant about who’s going to win the tag belts from the Rock N Roll Express first, without taking a breath, and Tony is like “What the heck did you just say?”. And then Cornette does the whole routine AGAIN. You don’t even need to watch the matches, the commentary can carry the show. Flying knee into the shoulder finishes poor Rutley.

– The Road Warriors come out (and Cornette leaves) and Hawk responds to accusations of losing their heart. They had none to begin with, you see.

Ric Flair v. Mike Jackson

It’s the Schick match of the week! Does that mean someone’s going to blade? Jackson grabs a headlock and takes Flair down with a flying headscissors, into a bodypress for two. Jackson works on a wristlock, but Flair puts him on the top and then chops him down to break. He slugs Jackson down in the corner and tosses him, but Jackson fights back in the ring and backdrops Flair. Backdrop and Flair begs off, but Jackson slugs him over the top. Flair comes in via the top, but Jackson catches him with a shot coming down. Flair is all “Hey! Hey! Wait! ” and then when he has Jackson’s attention, he goes “Wooo!” That is just unspeakably cool. Baby Doll adds a shot from the floor and Flair drops the knee, sending Jackson to the floor again. Back in, Flair hooks in a facelock, but Jackson elbows him down and goes to a figure-four. The BALLS on this guy. Flair quickly makes the ropes, so Jackson suplexes him into the ring and slugs away. Flair elbows him down in desperation, but Jackson keeps coming until he misses a bodypress attempt and clotheslines himself on the top as a result. Flair’s had enough, and he drops an elbow and NOW, woo, we go to school with the figure-four at 8:32. I don’t get the constant protection of skinny, graying jobber Mike Jackson.

Nikita Koloff v. Dave Spencer

Standing sickle finishes this goof and his stupid haircut at 1:10.

– Paul Jones and his army cut a dull promo and then beat three jobbers.

– And we finish with the Four Horsemen interrupting a Dick Murdoch promo, only to turn around and see Dusty, Magnum and Ronnie Garvin in the ring, triggering a huge brawl!

See you next week!

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