Tonight is bound to bring tears of joy and sorrow. Not to mention prayers for a Wild Card slot. It’s the first result show determined by viewers’ phone calls. Did you call? Did you actually get through? Only three kids will secure spots tonight. The top boy, girl and the next top vote getter are in the 12 Finalist slots.
They have the dozen contestants in a line as Ryan scares them with the fear that only three of them will be getting through. Is the Wild Card episode supposed to be a big surprise? They had 24 million people call last night. Do wonder how many of those are text messages. He introduces the judges. Paula seems smashed. Randy thinks a few stepped up while others faltered. Kara repeats Randy’s statement. She adds Stevie and Casey disappointed him along with Simon. Paula agrees on Simon. Ryan goes for the gutter by saying that Simon disappointed the ladies after the show. How sad that he must turn family entertainment into a sex joke.
They blend the 12 backstories of the contestants into a video mix to a Michael Jackson song. What’s up with them pushing the King of Pop? Are they hinting he might be the big surprise judge this year. Now they have the 12 kids sing “I’m Yours.” They bounce and clumsy move around the stage. Drunk seals have better rhythm. This is so painfully bad. The wife wants to know if all their microphones are turned off. This is worse than anything Simon says about being drunk at a wedding and singing.
Thankfully it is over. Are they really going to take an hour? Wonder if they’re going to tell the kids they were cut or merely announce the lucky winners each 20 minutes?
It’s the Simpson’s 20th anniversary. How has Maggie stayed so young?
It’s time for another recap of last night. They’ve remixed the sound so the band and the singer sound like they were on the same channel. We get backstage tears from the folks who crashed and burned. Ryan claims Tatiana Del Toro turned the night around. They have Ann Marie Boskovich amongst the good performances of the night. What? The judges didn’t think that highly of her.
Ryan raps with the kids about how they’d rate their performance. Jackie Tohn gives herself an A-. Anoop feels relaxed. He’s leaning back like he’s in a class at UNC. Tatiana is humbled to be there. She’s wearing Paul’s star jewelry. Does she have an endorsement deal?
They have three empty seats for the lucky people who will make the 12. Ryan drags out Casey Carlson. Why worry about pressure? She feels lucky to have been on stage. The sound mix in the studio once more stinks. Casey is not in the Top 12. She’s sent back to the other people.
Stephen Fowler is next on the chopping block. He talks about how he wanted to show a different side of himself. Did we even really see a side of him? All we saw was him forget the lyrics at a piano. America voted and he is not in the top 12. Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Alexis is brought up. She’s wearing a hat to hide her pink highlighted hair and put a massive shadow over her eyes. Seems she might get picked. Did she snag a slot instead of Tatiana? Tension. They show her dad. There’s an internet rumor that she wants to win because her dad needs a heart transplant. He hasn’t any health insurance. How can anyone vote against her with that sob story? She made it into the top 12. They have her sing “Never Loved a Man” one more time. We see her parents making out on a sofa. It’s nice they’re having someone sing a winning song again. That was the unnerving part of the seasons where the booted person sang their losing song. It was like the producers were punishing America by letting them hear that least love song.
With Alexis in, it’s time to ponder if Anoop or Tatiana are now Wild Card bait. Gokey should be a lock for top boy. Although which ever contestant finishes fourth will find themselves part of the Wild Card night.
Ricky Braddy and Jackie Tohn are brought out together. Jackie disagrees with Simon’s remarks from the night before. Ricky is not in the Top 12. Jackie is not in the Top 12. Now they drag out Anoop Desai and Michael Sarver. Ryan builds up the tension by asking Michael what’s going through his head. The proper answer would be “give me the damn answer!” The person going through is Michael Sarver. Anoop got robbed! He didn’t get enough pity time on the air. Also didn’t help that Simon begged America to vote for the guy. Sarver sings while folks at UNC cry over their grad student not pulling in the Top three votes.
This is a complete wrench in the gears. It’s pretty much going to be Gokey versus Tatiana for that last slot. Has Vote for the Worst been sabotaged this season. Ryan says only 20,000 votes separated Michael from Anoop.
Ryan now pimps the American Idol experience at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. This is what used to be MGM/Disney home of the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. They brought together all 7 previous winners and other famous contestants. You can now go down to Disney and audition.
As a stunt they have Michael Johns and Carly Smithson walk out as contestants. She tells how she had a weave. You might remember these two as the original plants that tried to hide their record deals. They do the Boxtop’s “The Letter.” Alex Chilton is throwing a Twinkie at the screen. This is horrible. There’s no urgency in this “Up With People” version. They want to release this as a single? Their voices have zero chemistry. It’s like the mating of a brick with a butterfly. The music industry will have to wait another week to be saved. You’d be better off spending your money on The Best of Big Star. That’s Alex Chilton’s band after the Box Tops. You might remember one of their songs as the theme to That ‘70s Show.
Anne Marie Boskovich, Brent Keith, Stevie Wright are told to stand up in their seats. They don’t even come down to the front of the stage. Randy is asked his feeling. He doesn’t think it’s going to be good news. And it isn’t. They’re all kicked off.
It’s down to Danny Gokey and Tatiana Del Toro. Maybe they’ll just have a knife fight to settle the score? Danny is nervous. Tatiana is about to pass out. She’s waving her hand in a weird gesture. She doesn’t know how she feels. Will it be the best or the Vote for the Worst crowd? Paula thinks it’ll be Danny. The tension gets pushed cause they have to take that commercial break.
You know what the secret formula of Coke is? Elf blood. Santa sells his old elves to the folks in Atlanta. I have a buddy who works for the Braves. He’s seen the secret warehouse where they bleed out the dying elves. It’s not pretty, but it explains why you never see Santa complaining about maintaining the Elf Retirement Fund or their health insurance.
Gokey or Tatiana is going to determine the way this season will go. Don’t get too emotional about it since the loser will be pack to fight for the final three slots in a few weeks.
Ryan comes back. Danny just wants to find out. The person going through is Danny. Tatiana is in tears. She’s heartbroken. Look at what you did to her, America! Have you no soul? Danny does “Hero” one more time. Looks like security are on high alert to make sure Tatiana doesn’t charge him. A pal holds up a photo of Gokey and his recently departed wife. Poor Tatiana didn’t get a hero on the phone lines last night.
The first group winners are Danny Gokey, Michael Sarver and Alexis Grace. They don’t mention the Wild Card episode. But odds are you’ll be seeing Anoop Desai and Tatiana Del Toro making one last shot at the 12. Ricky Braddy, Anne Marie Boskovich and Jackie Tohn have outside shots depending how many contestants are allowed one last song for the tittle shot.
Next week will be Nick Mitchell. Will he also be dead meat? Will America prefer sob stories over trainwrecks this season? They’re also switching the show over to be Wednesday for the competition and Thursday for the result show. This isn’t Fox’s attack on Lost. President Obama will be addressing a joint session of Congress on Tuesday night.
And in case you’re keeping score: another show has ended without mention of Joanna Pacitti being booted.
