The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – September 27 1986
– Another short show this week. Luckily the Braves sucked ass in the 80s, so things will pick up again once we get to the post-season.
– Your hosts are Tony & David.
– Jim Cornette and the Midnights join us right away, announcing Warrior Aid, a telethon to help find the Road Warriors because they’re in hiding. And holy crap, Dennis Condrey cuts ANOTHER promo. Two weeks in a row! There is of course a reason why Cornette does all the talking.
Jimmy Garvin v. Vern Deaton
The crowd immediately starts chanting “Vernon”, so you know this should be a good show. Garvin works the arm to start and sends Deaton into the corner before chopping him down. He chokes Deaton down and allows Precious to lay the badmouth on him, and the brainbuster finishes at 1:55.
– Nikita joins us, ready for the unification match, and we get a clip of a brawl between Wahoo and Nikita from what I’m guessing was the missing 9/13 show. That must have been one hell of an episode. Tomorrow night, he’ll be the only guy representing the USA and Uncle Ivan wins the US tag titles. You might want to invest any betting money on his side.
– Paul Jones and the Baron want the World title now. Yeah, good luck there, guys. I don’t see Flair v. Baron headlining Starrcade ’86 somehow.
Shaska Whatley & The Barbarian v. The Mulkeys
I’m pretty sure this match is playing in Hell for someone right now. Shaska is now bald, which I’m guessing was a result of Jimmy Valiant. Randy gets clobbered by Barbarian and press-slammed into his brother. Bill tries a backdrop suplex on Shaska, but eats an atomic drop instead, and Shaska adds a dropkick. Over to Barbarian with a rare leg lariat and Shaska chokes away on the ropes, and the flying headbutt finishes at 3:50.
Manny Fernandez & Hector Guerrero v. The Golden Terror & Tony Zane
Hector powers Zane down, but gets slammed. He recovers and dropkicks both jobbers, and it’s over to Manny for an armbar on Zane. The crowd wants him to break it, apparently. Gotta love the redneck frat boys in the front row. Hector works on Zane’s arm, but it’s over to Mr. Terror. Bull quickly elbows him down for two and works on a hammerlock. Hector with a delayed suplex and Bull hits a flying elbow from the top for the pin. Golden Terror is neither golden nor a terror. Talk amongst yourselves.
– Uh oh, Paul Jones calls Manny Fernandez over for a chat and reiterates that there’s a lot of money on the table, but Manny is friends with the Boogie Man with a capital F. Paul’s patience is running out.
Nikita Koloff v. Bill Tabb
Nikita tosses Tabb and runs him into the corner, then stomps away on the mat. Tabb comes back with shoulders in the corner, which has the fans in the front going APESHIT, but that just annoys Koloff and he pounds Tabb down and finishes with a standing Sickle at 1:48. USA, RIGHT HERE, quoth Nikita. You tell ’em.
– Dick Murdoch is gonna win the US tag belts and then go after Flair.
Jimmy Valiant v. Brodie Chase
Hiptoss and a thumb to the throat to start, and he chokes Chase out with his knee while leading chants in the front row. This audience is something else. Elbow and elbow end it at 1:29. Afterwards, Valiant brings out Fernandez and once again reaffirms their friendship. Yup.
The Midnight Express v. Paul Garner & Art Pritts
Jim Cornette’s Elmer Fudd impression KILLS here. The Express double-teams Garner with an elbow and Eaton goes up with a flying forearm and then up again with a big elbow. The crowd’s “Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” buildup to each move is great. Cornette, on commentary, is convinced that the Road Warriors are gone and never coming back, even though Tony advises restraint in talking shit against them. Condrey comes in and elbows Garner down then puts him down with a kneelift. Then a spot that just slays me, as Cornette and Eaton set up outside the ring and yell out “Throw him out here, we’ll CATCH him!” and of course Condrey throws the guy over the top and they just casually move away and laugh at the announce table. Oh my. Back in the ring, Condrey chokes away on the ropes and Cornette is so confident about the Warrior situation that he moves onto fat jokes about Pritts (he goes into a restaurant and orders by page number, allegedly) while Condrey hits a backdrop suplex and Eaton drops an elbow. Eaton goes up with a flying kneedrop (Whooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa-yeah!) and they finish with a Rocket Launcher at 6:17. Total babyface reaction from the frat boys here. I would seriously watch a three-disc DVD that is nothing but Express squashes and Cornette interviews. Of course this is all leading to the scaffold match at Starrcade.
– Cornette informs us that Hawk is a coward and he’s gonna smack Ellering around because he’s a pretty tough guy in his own right. Of course it takes him 3 minutes to say that and he barely takes a breath between points. And we’re out for another week.
