In a way to prove that these upcoming stars are contemporary, the producers of American Idol have decided to tap into that truly timeless genre with “Disco Night.” Not like you could exactly pinpoint that beat to what you’d be hearing while sniffing a line of blow off Liza’s tush in the basement of Studio 54 in 1977. I’m not a disco hater. When Saturday Night Fever comes out on Blu-ray next month, it’ll be in my player. Doubtful we’ll be seeing polyester shirts and afro wigs bouncing Travolta style on the stage.
Entertainment Tonight is doing a piece about the rumors of Paula getting bounced from the judge’s table for Kara. But it can’t happen because Paula is the compassion on the row. Most of the time Kara wants to writing songs for the contenders. She doesn’t have a solid connection with either the contestants nor the audience. The new gal still comes off as an extended guest star.
The show recaps Matt Giraud being saved by Simon. Ryan lets us know that two people will be eliminated this week. It will be a disco bloodbath! I really hope someone does a Village People number. Randy Jones, the Cowboy, would appreciate Adam Lambert putting on the chaps and getting into the mirror ball fever. The judges mug it up on their introductions. Simon has gone with the white t-shirt that looked like it was stolen from my grandfather’s dresser.
Lil Rounds kicks off the night with Chaka Khan’s “I’m Every Woman.” She’s looking funky with a cat suit that lets her arms go bare. She’s going well with the background singers. It was much better than her last few weeks. She’s got the room peppy. Randy thinks she got the party started, but it sounded “so wild to me.” He doesn’t think it showed vocal control and what kind of artist she’d be. Kara isn’t sure if it was worth the wait to hear her sing Chaka. She still hasn’t heard Lil. Paula points out that Lil was on complete vocal rest yesterday. She didn’t quite hit the boiling point. Simon notices that Lil looks sad. Lil feels she had fun that night. Simon predicts it’s the last week we’ll see Lil. Really, Simon? She wasn’t slashed after the Bette Midler incident. This night shouldn’t make her the victim of the double homicide. Unless everyone else really ups the ante.
Weird that after last week when they only had two judges speak to speed it up. The wife points out they didn’t have a mentor this week. What? Where was the star of ‘77 to tell the kids what it was like to see me sniffing a line of blow off Liza’s rump in the basement of Studio 54? Why didn’t Ryan Seacrest call up Randy Jones? The Cowboy wouldn’t mind explaining what made “Macho Man” and “YMCA” eternal hits to the kids. Do hope anyone who wants to record the whole show has remembered to set the DVR for Fringe.
Kris Allen is wearing a white t-shirt and holding his acoustic guitar. That’s so non-disco. He’s going to switch up the beat for Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard for the Money.” Isn’t that cheating? I want disco and not Jason Mraz does the hits of Donna Summer. It’s very Kenny Loggins. This is a real cheat since Donna Summer released this song in 1983 – long after the disco era. Kara says the risk of the arrangement has paid off. She wants him to put that on his record. Paula says it has a Santana feel to it. She enjoys that he went shopping in the women’s department. Simon can’t figure out what Paula says. She comes back by saying Simon buys women underwear. Simon thinks it’s original and well thought out. Randy thinks Kris is ready for the big time because he knows who he is. Nobody seemed to care that this song was from the time of Duran-Duran and not Andy Gibb. If this was the Food Network’s Challenge, Kris would be booted for not following the theme.
Danny Gokey is going Earth Wind and Fire with “September.” My wife has bad memories of a bunch of dorks singing this on a bus. His version is good, but not great. It’s better than a wedding singer. He didn’t mix it up too much. You can dance along with him. Vince Neil and bimbo from his Rock of Love bus are in the house. Do hope everyone in the crowd goes home and checks for crabs before bedtime. Randy feels that it worked with Danny’s melodic range. Kara notices how he never has a pitch issue. Paula thinks he has one of the sexiest voices ever. Simon agrees with what everyone is saying. Simon feels that it lacked star power on stage. Really? What’s he going to say to Susan Boyle when she returns to his English stage next month? She doesn’t look like she’ll be a gymnast on the stage. Simon is so disingenuous and clueless as to what makes a star with Boyle.
Allison Iraheta unleashes Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff.” She gets the stage turned red. She’s poured into a leather outfit that should be caught on Youtube. She’s moved it into a rocker mode. This is not a dance beat. It’s theatrical like a Meatloaf epic. She’s prancing around the stage letting the outfit get stretched. She’s only 16. Randy felt the arrangement was over indulgent, but her voice is one of his favorite. Kara didn’t like the arrangement being slowed down. Paula likes the edginess and how the music worked with her vocals. Simon thinks it was a brilliant performance. He thought she’d be an underdog on Disco week. Really? Vince ought to borrow that outfit for his next VH1 skank-a-rama.
Anyone else wondering who is the audience for the Burger King ad with the hoochie dancers shaking square butts at the camera? I enjoy it, but they don’t even show me what the toys in the 99 cent kids’ meal look like. I’m not going to buy a kiddie meal without knowing what’s in the bag with the food.
Adam Lambert is back to his Kurt Russell with Elvis hair look. “If I Can’t Have You” by Yvonne Elliman. This was a soft moment from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. He’s also really taken the disco element out to the song. It’s soft and acoustic. This is a croon. He pulls out the Axl notes to make it more emotional. The wife doesn’t like the Axl notes. It’s a heartbreaker that makes Paula stand up to applaud. She’s on the verge of tears. Was this a secret message between them? Randy says Adam is ready right now. “He is a hot one tonight, America!’ Kara calls him brilliant. She continues to gush. Paula felt his pain on that stage. Simon didn’t feel the pain. He expected Donna Summer from Adam. He finally gushes praise. Adam thanks the guy who came up with the arrangement. A very classy move from a guy in a swanky suit.
For those pondering what I’d do for “Disco Night,” the answer is “Macho Man.” But instead of a bass and drums track, I’d have the band making armpit farts. I’d lift up my t-shirt and rub my stomach – for the ladies. Wonder what Nick Mitchell would do? He’d be great on Disco night. Shame there isn’t a rival show online to let Nick shine each week via Youtube.
Matt Giraud dares the power of the BeeGee’s “Stayin’ Alive.” He dumps the piano. He goes more soulful without the falsetto. The “splice” when they kill the instrumental break is awkward. But he’s doing funky dancing around the stage. It’s almost danceable. Does strike me of the way Justine Timberlake would retool the song. Randy didn’t like the song choice or arrangement, but liked his voice. Kara likes that he brought disco back. Paula compares Matt’s song selection to her bowling skills. Sometimes it’s strikes. Other times its gutterballs. Tonight was a strike. Simon didn’t like the performance. He feels it was desperate. He didn’t hear any originality. What? The guy didn’t try to match the falsetto.
The wife notices that all the guys are looking scruffy outside of Adam. Does disco equal scruff? It can if you’re up for three days snorting blow off Liza’s junk trunk in the basement of Studio 54. Not that I’ve ever done that.
Anoop Desai is doing Donna Summer’s “Dim the Lights” as acoustic guitar ballad. There’s a break to bring in the keyboards that sound very cheesy. He’s like Lionel Ritchie on painkillers. No real tension or energy. Randy didn’t love the arrangement either. Randy is happy that Anoop can sing. He appreciates the note hitting. Kara thought it was great and sounds like it could be on the radio. That’s the song that lets you fall asleep behind the wheel. Paula likes the pink on Anoop. She likes the uptempo. She wants him to smile more. Simon declares it mediocre at best. He nails it as his worst performance by a mile. Ouch. Can the UNC campus save Anoop from the double elimination challenge?
We get the montage with the numbers. Nobody gets a pure clunker highlight.
VIP LOUNGE: Adam Lambert & Allison Iraheta
DANCE FLOOR: Danny Gokey, Kris Allen
VELVET ROPE BLOCKED: Matt Giraud, Anoop Desai & Lil Rounds
The people most likely to left off the guest list are Matt and Lil. I sense the UNC fans still basking in their championship glow will push their vocal hero to another week.
