How will last week’s results show alter the way the Final Four approach tonight’s rock theme? Will Adam Lambert completely overhaul his act to get the phones to ring? Will Allison Iraheta figure a way to upset Simon to get more of those pity calls?
The show kicks off with a recap about Adam Lambert being almost cut. Will he survive tomorrow night? Ryan says there were accidents on the stage. One of the American Idol logo towers collapsed. The wreckage hangs above their heads. Is this safe? Are we going to end up with a Dallas Cowboys training camp disaster? Also a stage manager fell 20 feet down a staircase. She was taken to the hospital on a stretcher with a neck brace. Reports on the internet allege she was waving on the way out like Rick Ankiel of the St. Louis Cardinals.
Besides their solo songs, the contestants will pair up and perform duets. We’ll get six songs in total. Kara is decked out in leather. Guess all the talk about her getting slashed from the series has given her the need for a second skin.
The mentor for tonight is Slash. We’re supposed to believe that Slash’s status is legendary. He burst on the scene in 1987 with Guns N Roses. And the GnR imploded a five years later. They pimp what’s supposed to be his first ever solo album. Huh? What about Slash’s Snake Pit? Wasn’t Velvet Revolver his solo band. Slash has been running on his laurels for 15 years. He mentors the kids at the Roxy. Did you know Rocky Horror played there when it was a stage piece? I bet Adam knows that fact. Slash is in the crowd wearing a dorky newspaper boy cap. Doesn’t Brad Pitt have a copyright on that dud headwear? Why not wear a “kick me” sign?
Adam Lambert is going for Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love.” Slash is thrilled at his range. He does have an issue with Adam’s high register. Perhaps those Axl notes were too much for him. Lambert wears a leather outfit that Rob Halford of Judas Priest would adore. He’s going for the big soaring Robert Plant vocals that were doctored up in the studio. They even allow a guitar solo tonight. Adam really works out the finale notes. It’s just nasty good. Damn shame he didn’t pay $20 to get John Paul Jones to play bass on it. Randy thinks Adam is a rock star and not merely a Broadway babe. Kara swears he’s a rock God. She wants him to revive glam rock. She’s pumped. Has she been absorbing Red Bull enemas? Simon thought the performance was understated…as a joke. Simon declares this as one of his favorite performances. He swears nobody can top it.
Allison Iraheta went to Adam Lambert’s hair guy for her new hairdo. She talks with Slash about what to do. They decide on Janis Joplin’s “Cry Baby.” He wants her to bring it full on when she comes out. They have her wrapped tight in a pair of leather pants. The performance sounds way too much like Janis. She’s not twisting it enough to get that “you made it yours” sensation. Doesn’t quite have that vocal bounce at the end. Randy didn’t love the song choice. He didn’t like how it was just singing “cry baby” at the top of her range. Kara thinks Janis’ bluesy rock is perfect for her, but she didn’t grab the right song. Paula thinks she’s fearless and ought to star in a Janis biopic. Simon thinks its staggering how she’s improved over the 8 weeks. He feels the song was a sound-a-like. He would have chosen Queen song. But it turned out she meant the Jefferson Airplane’s “Somebody to Love” and not Queen’s “Somebody to Love.” Does seem like this might end her run on the show.
Now we get a duet of Danny Gokey and Kris Allen on “Renegade” by Styx. There will be no individual votes on this Classic rock collaboration. Kris Allen is the new Tommy Shaw! Gokey holds his own. They clip the song before it gets wild. Randy likes their harmonies. Kara thinks the sum of the parts are better. Paula thinks the duet was powerful and compelling. Simon doesn’t know what to say. Danny’s better than Kris is his proclamation. Danny mentions they never did a real dress rehearsal with the big band.
Why didn’t they get Todd Rundgren to mentor tonight and play the music with his Arena rock set up? For those wondering, if I was a contestant tonight, you’d be clobbered by my version of “Kung Fu Fighting” with a kazoo orchestra.
Kris Allen wanted to do the Beatles’ “Revolution,” but it didn’t sound right. So he’s going to do “Come Together.” This is officially a Beatles-Chuck Berry song. Chuck’s music publisher sued the Fab Four for ripping off his lines from “You Can’t Catch Me.” Kris plays the guitar and somehow the track gets too cleaned up. It’s just not as nasty as needed. It’s like a David Cassidy production. He was much better off doing the Tommy Shaw vocals on “Renegade.” Randy likes the vocals, but loves his guitar playing. Kara sees him as the softer side of rock. It wasn’t a great performance. He tried too hard. Paula gets confused and gets snippy with Simon. She does talk about his imprint on the song. Simon feels it’s like eating ice for lunch. Where does he order ice for lunch? What a cheap date. Although if your wife is in the delivery room, the only thing you’re allowed to give her to “eat” is ice chips. Maybe Simon’s been hanging around with midwives?
Danny Gokey meets Slash to work out “Dream On.” He doesn’t sound bad with Slash’s band. They should have had them as the backers. There’s probably a union deal to prevent the AI Orchestra from taking a night off. Gokey uses his gruff soul voice to get under the Steven Tyler vocal levels. You really should be legally obligated to wrap scarves around the microphone for this song. His end yell is painful from the inside. Randy knows this isn’t his genre, but he gives him an A plus for the valiant effort. Kara thinks he took the swagger a little too far. She confuses me by saying she sees him on more early Aerosmith like “Cryin.” That would be comeback Aerosmith. Paula didn’t think it was the right song. Simon thought the last note was a horror movie scream. It just didn’t work, but he feels Danny will be safe. Danny should have done Husker Du’s “Makes No Sense At All.” Why isn’t there “SST Night” on American Idol? Let the kids get a crack at the music of Black Flag, Sonic Youth, the Minutemen and Husker Du? Gokey could have done “TV Party.”
I’m just thrilled that nobody did Train’s “Drops of Jupiter” or a Creed hit.
Allison and Adam gives us Foghat’s “Slow Ride.” Damn right! Foghat rules. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is such a joke since they don’t honor Foghat. Adam’s grey and black striped pants are too distracting. He does need to be a Jimi Lalumia glam rock god. They do sound like a great mix. Randy wants them to do a duet. Kara says they pushed each other to be better. Paula agrees on them doing a duet. My wife ponders if Adam and Allison are doing it. She also thinks Rock Hudson hooked up with Doris Day. Simon says Adam might have saved Allison from being eliminated. Does this mean Queen Simon foresees Kris Allen getting tossed into the remainder bin with those Velvet Revolver albums?
During the phone number recap, we get Danny Gokey’s big note. Hmmmm.
Pretty easy to pick tonight’s bottom three:
WINNER: Adam Lambert.
BARSTOOL CREW: Kris Allen, Danny Gokey and Allison Iraheta.
Simon might have thought Allison was saved by the duet, but I find that hard to believe. Kris has gained a pack of dedicated callers. Allison Iraheta won’t be getting an encore. This will give her more time to work on her album with Kara.
Now it’s time to see Clint Howard on Fringe.
