All the latest hoo-hah from the greatest wrestling promotion in the world today, bar none, it’s all glorious, viva la Dixie…
– Taz starts things off with a promo about sustaining career-threatening injuries back in ECW and no longer being able to wrestle. He knew there was more he could do than just announce matches, especially when he saw Samoa Joe. He saw that Joe expressed some remorse and reminded him that it was all about doing what had to be done to win titles and make money. He became the teacher, Joe the student, the pizza delivery guy kept busy. He says that both of them are indebted to Kurt Angle and the prestigious Main Event Mafia.
– Homicide beats Samoa Joe by DQ to retain the X Division Title. Joe hits the referee and puts Homicide in the Tazmission. Hernandez runs down to make the save, complete with new entrance music and video.
– Kurt Angle tells the Main Event Mafia that none of them are getting fired. Mick Foley comes out to talk and be irrelevant. Angle calls him Old Tapper, which is fucking magnificent. Foley pulls out his keys and they’re gonna be put up on a pole tonight! POLE MATCH! VINTAGE RUSSO!
– The Legend Kevin Nash beats The Legend Amazing Red to retain the legendary Legends Title.
– British Invasion, Kyoshi & Sheik Abdul Bashir beat Beer Money, Daniels, A.J. Styles & Non-Babyface Eric Young when Magnus pins Styles. Young turned on Styles, leading to the pin. Shock.
– Scott Steiner & Booker T beat Bic Rocco & Sally Boy to retain the tag titles when Steiner pins Rocco.
– Traci Brooks won a Knockouts Battle Royal to win $50,000 and a spot in the Main Event Mafia. Nash felt her up afterwards.
– A.J. Styles beats Matt Morgan in the first match of a best-of-three series, with the winner getting into the Hard Justice main event.
– Mick Foley and Kurt Angle had their Office Keys ON A POLE Match. At one point the keys fell off and Earl Hebner had to reattach them. 100% professional. The Mafia attacked Foley as Angle belittled him on the microphone but then Bobby Lashley turned up to help Foley and not sleep with Karen.
