1) The recap at the beginning clearly draws battle lines. Jeffrey is the guy with the culinary experience. He’s the technically superior guy. Melissa is the underdog — but only in the culinary education department. She’s a businesswoman who’s lived the 100-hour work weeks and had a boatload of life experience before finally getting here. As they continue framing her as the underdog, she reminds us she’s the underdog in the confessional. In case you didn’t know; the winner will receive a show, a spread in Food Network Magazine, and a top spot at the NYC Wine and Food Festival. At the beginning of this episode, I have no real idea who’s going to win and would be perfectly fine with either.
2) They open with montages putting each of the contestants in their history and their family life. Jeffrey is a martial arts fan who worked in restaurants for years before becoming the owner of a real estate firm. He and his family travel a lot and they love to find food in those travels. Melissa’s mom “passed away” when she was 20 and her sorority sisters became her family. She worked the standard post-collegiate insane hours job. She loved calling friends over and cooking with them. First impression, I haven’t seen the show Jeffrey is proposing before. I’ve seen Melissa’s show. I’ve seen it with Sandra Lee and her sorority friends. I’ve seen it with Ina’s and Giada’s friends “surprisingly” popping in for visits and to cook. Jeffrey’s show is something new. Melissa’s is not. I don’t particularly care about another show with fake interactions between friends.
3) Alton Brown arrives to present the final challenge. No surprises here. Each contestant will record a pilot. Alton is the director. The pilot will then be presented to a live audience and the selection committee.
4) Jeffrey initially suggests that his show’s name is Cooking Without Borders. When he describes what he wants to do, Alton mentions that he doesn’t get his concept from the title. Cooking Without Borders implies a travel-type show. Jeffrey’s idea, translated, is “take an ingredient identified with another culture, bring it to the US, and make an accessible dish.” I was on board with Alton’s translation until he suggested the Ingredient Smuggler — which is quite possibly the worst suggestion for a cooking show’s title ever conceived. On his pilot, Jeffrey is way too intense. Alton works some kind of mojo and the final take is awesome. I don’t know how much time passed between the first take and the final product, but it makes Alton look like a magician.
5) Melissa. She makes some suggestions which Alton rakes over the coals. Eventually he talks her in to Kitchen Survival Guide because her concepts remind him of someone trying to survive. I love the little peek behind the curtain this taping process gives us. It’s a fun little look at what goes on behind the scenes. 5 Ingredient Fix is the only show that shows outtakes over the credits. I think it’s fun to see that these shows aren’t put together the first time.
6) I really hated the recap of the stuff that went on in the house and the relationships formed there. Maybe I’m too New Yorky, but why do I care about the life of these people who I’m never going to see again? None of them brought anything to the table and I’m never going to see any of them after tonight. I don’t care about wacky things they did in the house. I’d rather have seen more of the pilots because those actually still have some relevance to my life.
7) Melissa’s pilot: Kitchen Survival Guide. This show is very Food Networky. Her show is interspersed with those little Melissa Tips that she drops in almost without you noticing. She’s become very measured and settled and has almost entirely killed her frazzled energy. Her four-step chicken process was a great, tip-laden pilot filled with things the Food Network is going to love. It’s how to take a few components and combine them in to various dishes on the go. She tells us she came up with the process while she was a mom working 100-hour weeks. It’s dumbed-down enough for the below average watcher but had tips anyone could take home. I buy it. I buy her. Good pilot. Her “sell us on you” speech wasn’t quite so good. Live TV will not be her friend in the future.
8) Jeffrey’s pilot: Ingredient Smuggler. Terrible, awful, putrid name aside — this was also a really good pilot and I love the concept. Initially I thought the problem with this show would be most of the country getting the ingredient, but then recalled that we have the Internet. Jeffrey engaged me much more than Melissa did. Like I said earlier — I’ve seen Melissa’s show before. A lot. There are only so many ways I can watch chicken cooked in oil, then the drippings combined with onion and chicken stock and butter. Jeffrey did something I’ve never seen, with an ingredient I’ve never seen, and made a meal that I wanted to try. I felt smarter after watching it. Like Susie said — he made me want to eat his meal and get that ingredient. Melissa did not because I’ve seen chicken with a sauce before. I’ve never seen his show.
9) Selfishly, before I see the result, I would like Jeffrey’s show better. Melissa is more in the network’s wheelhouse, but they have three versions of her show. Her homey, housewifey, “hey my friends are coming to visit so here’s how I entertain them” show. Robin Miller does the busy housewife meals. Ina Garten does the entertain my super-rich friends show. Sandra Lee does the time-saving tips show. What’s she bringing to the table that’s not already on it? Against my original call, I vote Jeffrey.
10) Melissa wins. I’m unsurprised — but a little bummed because I think I would have loved Jeffrey’s show. I’m hoping to see him somewhere. Just as long as it’s an “In The Kitchen” show and not a terrible travel show like Adam got saddled with after they took his idea and gave it to Aida.
It’s generally impossible to find Food Network ratings information anywhere but if their homepage for the show is any indication, this show has a huge Internet following at the very least. Debbie’s elimination last week led to 2200 comments on Tuschman’s blog. Tonight’s episode is already over 1200. This is the first year since Guy’s win where I didn’t feel the winner was politically motivated to fill an underrepresented market on Food Network. Cheers, guys and girl. Great season and one of the right people won. Well done. Back next week with a review of her new show.
Now let Jeffrey make his show, too.
