Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time WWE RAW Report – 10.26.09

Kyle Busch and Joey Logano from NASCAR are your co-guest hosts this week. With Bragging Rights in the books, what direction will the Red Brand take as Survivor Series is a month away?  Keep it to the Pulse at the top of the hour for the latest real-time updates!

We recap what happened last night on Bragging Rights in the big tag team match.

WE ARE LIVE FROM BUFFALO, NEW YORK! The Unified Tag Team Champions, JeriShow, are out in the ring. Chris Jericho has the Bragging Rights Trophy in tow and Big Show proclaims that he is a proud member of the RAW Roster. Jericho says that his loyalty to his team supercede his loyalty to RAW. Show wants to say something, but Jericho thanks him for stopping the DX train. Big Show keeps trying to interrupt Jericho and he finally does so. Big Show screwed RAW because of his own career. Because of what Show did, Teddy Long granted him a World Heavyweight Championship match next month against the Undertaker.

They argue until we get the sounds of two cars making noise in the parking lot. It’s none other than our guest hosts Kyle Busch and Joey Logano. They are accompanied by the Bellas and things have gotten interesting. They are proud WWE fans and they discuss Big Show’s treason. OK, we’re going to have duelling guest hosts. Kyle Busch is with Big Show and Joey Logano is against Big Show. Kyle Busch pokes fun on Buffalo. Joey Logano books Big Show v. Triple H for tonight and Jericho talks about the trophy. Kyle Busch books Jericho against Kofi Johnson – I mean Kingston. HAHA!

And that match is next!

Commercials.

Kofi Kingston v. Chris Jericho

We lock up and Jericho evades Kingston from the start. Jericho comes back in and he sends Kingston to the corner. Kingston stalls the offense for the moment and he hits a dropkick for two. Kingston with the knee drop for two. Jericho back up and he chokes Kingston out in the ropes. Kingston schoolboys Jericho for a two count, but Jericho comes back with some stiff kicks. Headlock applied by Jericho…Kingston reverses it in the ropes. Jericho hits a shoulderblock, but Kingston responds with an elbow. Jericho heads out of the ring and Kingston hits what is dubbed by Michael Cole “CONTROL FRENZY”! Kingston leaps on Jericho and he hits seven punches before Jericho POWERBOMBS KINGSTON ON THE HARD PART OF THE RING! Jericho hits the springboard dropkick that sends Kingston out of the ring and we go to break.

Commercials.

We’re back and Jericho guillotines Kingston’s head on the bottom rope. Kingston mounts a comeback and he schoolboys Jericho for two. Kingston walks into a short-arm clothesline for a two count. Jericho gets cocky in the corner, but Kingston responds in kind. Bulldog attempt is countered to Jericho going into the corner hard. Kingston makes his comeback and he drops the Boom Drop! Jericho is playing possum and he goes for the Walls, countered by Kingston. Jericho hits an enzugiri for a close two count. In the corner we go and Jericho walks into a heel kick. Kingston on the top rope…Jericho blocks it. Superplex attempt, Jericho gets sent off. Crossbody…ROLLED THROUGH and Jericho gets two. Side Russian Leg Sweep connects, but Jericho counters Trouble in Paradise into the Walls. Kingston counters THAT to a rollup for two. CODEBREAKER BY JERICHO! GAME! SET! NO! Kingston had his foot on the ropes! Jericho turns around into TROUBLE…IN…PARADISE! UNO, DOS, ADIOS!

Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: B

Kofi walks back up the ramp and RANDY ORTON TAKES AND THROWS KOFI OFF THE STAGE! Kofi’s head hit the stage awkwardly before landing.

Commercials.

Randy Orton is being interviewed by Josh Matthews and Orton explains his actions and that he has only begun on Kofi Kingston. Legacy comes by and they want to give Randy Orton a gift, his own NASCAR. Orton stares at the car.

Eve Torres is with the NASCAR guys and Jack Swagger comes into the fold. He wants Cena tonight for the WWE Title. The NASCAR guys have a better idea as they will name a new challenger tonight.

REALLY? The Miz begs to differ. He deserves a title shot since he was the only RAW winner last night. He goes to kiss Eve’s hand and she has an orgasm. The Miz is AWESOME!

Santino Marella and Melina head towards the ring.

Commercials.

Santino Marella & Melina v. Chavo Guerrero & Jillian Hall

EPIC TECHNICIAL DIFFICULTIES!

Santino and Chavo begin things off. Santino takes offense to Chavo poking his eye, so he goes to town. Santino goes for the salute drop, but Chavo rolls out and he takes Santino to the heel corner. Uppercut gets two. Chavo goes after Santino in another corner. HE DOES THE SPLITS TO EVADE CHAVO! He hits the fingerpoke of doom to Chavo and he tags Jillian. She slaps Santino and in comes Melina. Melina does the Matrix move, but she eats a clothesline from Jillian. Hornswoggle interferes and it’s enough for the Primal Scream for the win.

Winners: Santino Marella & Melina
Grade: D-

Josh Matthews hands Hornswoggle a green envelope and he hops on Lawler’s lap. It’s a “Cease and Desist” Order ordering him to stop supporting DX. Are they trying to turn Hornswoggle heel?

Cena is up next!

Commercials.

Justin Roberts goes to introduce John Cena, but is interrupted by Legacy’s Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. The Champ is not here *yet*. However, the Legacy is here and just because Orton can’t fight Cena…they can. They say that they don’t need the guest host’s permission because they are challenging him to face one of them or both of them in a handicap match.

Cena responds to the call. He doesn’t have to brag about last night and how both men were exhausted last night. They did it for the title and for the WWE Universe. He lays the point down that the rivalry needed to end and it did. He makes weird faces downplaying Legacy. Cena tells them that they have a lot to learn…but they are close enough. He beat Orton last night so he can have the right to say NO MORE! If Rhodes and DiBiase wants a shot at the title, they gotta do what everyone else does…WORK FOR IT! Cena arranged for them to face off against MVP and Mark Henry and that match is now.

The Legacy v. MVP & Mark Henry

Commercials.

We’re JIP as MVP kicks out of a cover by DiBiase. Tag to Rhodes and he takes it to MVP. MVP comes back and he tags the big man. Cody tries to do some damage, but against Henry it is impossible. MVP distracts the referee as DiBiase comes in and they work over Henry. Rhodes tags out to DiBiase and he continues the assault. Tag back to Rhodes and they double team the big man. Henry looks to get to a tag, but MVP jumps ship and he tries to derail Rhodes. The referee restrains him and Legacy hits a double dropkick. Henry back drops Rhodes and he gets the tag. MVP and DiBiase come in and MVP is on the offensive. He drops the Ballin’ Elbow, but Rhodes gets involved to break the count. Sunset flip with an assist by Henry gets the pin!

Winners: Mark Henry & MVP
Grade: C-

Legacy argue the decision with the referee and out comes Randy Orton. He brings up the fact that the guest hosts are looking for Cena’s next opponent. He doesn’t care about the terms of the stipulations he made himselfs…he’ll go to the Board of Directors if he has to.

Enter Kofi Kingston and he says that he lost and no one cares what he has to say. Orton invites him to come out to the ring, but Kofi has other plans. He is with Orton’s car and he defaces the car in a huge markout moment.

Commercials.

Eve Torres is your guest ring announcer for the upcoming match.

Evan Bourne v. The Miz

The bout begins and the Miz takes it to Bourne. HE SWEEPS THE LEG to get a two count early on. He chokes Bourne out in the ropes and he hits a side slam for two. Modified surfboard is applied and Bourne is reeling. Bourne finds a way out of it and we get a series of counters only for the knees to connect to give Bourne a one count. Headscissors by Bourne gets two. Miz comes back and he beats into Bourne as Jack Swagger comes out ringside to flirt with Eve Torres. Miz beats Bourne up and Swagger makes a point that Eve is watching Swagger. Miz beats Bourne up in the corner and he goes out of the ring to face off with Swagger. Evan Bourne springboards on top of both of them, but that doesn’t reset the count. Bourne beats the ten count in this controversial finish.

Winner: Evan Bourne
Grade: C

Commercials.

We are back and we relive what happened earlier tonight.

We are back and we relive what happened earlier tonight.

Our guest host next week…Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne.

Jaime Noble is in the ring. The guest hosts feeds him to Sheamus.

Sheamus v. Jaime Noble

Sheamus is here to make an impression. Noble attacks the leg, but Sheamus knocks Noble out of the ring.. Sheamus continues the assault on the outside. Back inside, Sheamus breaks his own cover. He picks Noble up in the Torture Rack Backbreaker, but Noble gets out of it. Sheamus runs into the corner post, but Noble can’t capitalize. This is a complete slaughter. Double Backbreaker follows a kick to the head for the win.

Winner: Sheamus
Grade: F (They ended a hot feud with Shelton Benjamin for this? FTS)

DX walks.

Commercials.

Recap of Big Show screwing RAW last night.

Big Show (w/Chris Jericho) v. Triple H (w/Shawn Michaels)

The bell rings and Trips asks for a microphone. Trips had a meeting with the NASCAR guys and the match has been changed to a Lumberjack Match and the Lumberjacks is the entire RAW Roster. Chris Jericho retreats and Shawn Michaels says that it is a No DQ Lumberjack Match. They also evict Charles Robinson and they bring out John Cena. Big Show gets sent out of the ring and the match is underway…but we got to take a break.

Commercials.

We’re back and Big Show is holding his own. Trips has a sleeper locked in, but Show slams Trips down. Trips looks for a bodyslam, but Show drops his weight for two. Trips tries to chop down the giant, but he eats a huge SPEAR! He steps on Trips and he gloats about. He mauls Trips and I’m wondering why this hasn’t turned into a gangbang for Big Show. Off the ropes, Big Show hits a sidewalk slam. He puts on a vice on Trips’ trapezoid muscle. Headbutt connects and Big Show continues to dominate. Masters gets involved and he eats a KO punch. Off the ropes again, Trips hits the knee smash. He runs into a chokeslam attempt, but Trips counters to a DDT for two. Pedigree attempt, but Big Show backdrops out of it. Show hits a splash and Cena counts to two and stops. The gangbang on Big Show connects with everyone hitting their signature moves. Except for Santino, though. Trouble in Paradise connects and Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment. Trips puts a SmackDown shirt on Big Show and Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music. Pedigree connects and Show is done.

Winner: Triple H
Grade: N/A (Overbooked, no grade given due to that)

The NASCAR guys make their way to the ramp and they announce your Survivor Series main event. Ladies and Gentlemen, Hornswoggle had a hand in this match making. John Cena v. Triple H v. Shawn Michaels. Color me shocked.

Show over.

The WWE RAW Report Card

Triple H d. Big Show: N/A
Sheamus d. Jaime Noble: F
Evan Bourne d. The Miz: C
Mark Henry & MVP d. Legacy: C
Santino Marella & Melina d. Chavo Guerrero & Jillian Hall: D-
Kofi Kingston d. Chris Jericho: B

The FINAL Grade for WWE RAW: C

Eh, wrestling aside, the show was a hit and miss. The main event was one giant gangbang on Big Show, but we had some interesting angles begin, so this week gets a pass from me.

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