Tonight, Carl Edwards is in charge and we’ll no doubt hear many Daytona references tonight on RAW. DX faces their biggest challenge since becoming the Unified World Tag Team Champions as the gold is on the line in a Triple Threat Match. It’s DX v. the Straightedge Society v. the Big Show & the Miz TONIGHT on Monday Night RAW!
Will the Diva’s Championship also be on the line tonight? It’s the one match everyone wants to see (not really) as Maryse and Gail Kim battle it out for the right to be called the Diva’s Champion. Does it happen tonight? Keep it to the Pulse to find out!
One week after Bret Hart and John Cena found themselves on the wrong side of “The Animal”, will John Cena address Mr. McMahon’s muscle after exclusive footage seen Cena get powerbombed onto the steel steps last week? Is revenge on Cena’s mind and what part will Bret Hart play in this new twist?
Sheamus has five hungry challengers wanting to end his title reign. Will he show the WWE Universe just why he deserves to be the WWE Champion?
All that and MORE as Inside Pulse Wrestling has your live coverage of MONDAY NIGHT RAW in a matter of minutes!
Opening recap from last week: Bret Hart deserves to be screwed.
TIME…TO…GET…RAW!
Tonight’s main event is now an ELIMINATION MATCH! AWESOME!
We also have exclusive footage on Batista’s attack on John Cena.
We go back a few months ago…oh wait, that’s a new car. You’re saying that we gotta have the same entrance as a few weeks ago? Wow. No cheesy music for Ca….WAIT A MOMENT. Hornswoggle is your driver and I ask HOW DOES HE REACH THE PEDALS! Kelly Kelly must be your guest ring announcer tonight or something. She introduces Carl Edwards and he comes out to “Rise Up” by Cypress Hill and is accompanied by the Bella Twins. He does the flip off the top rope. We get our Super Bowl plug in tonight. WHO DAT? We also get our plug for the Daytona 500. The crowd is silent for that one. Supposedly when Carl Edwards wins next week, John Cena will be with him in Victory Lane. That wakes the crowd up and brings Sheamus out.
Sheamus demands to be named the last participant in the Chamber match. He gets mouthy with our guest host and we get a surprising entrance from our ECW Champion, Christian! Christian introduces himself and says he is a huge NASCAR fan. Sheamus is pissed off at Christian’s appearance. At first, Christian was pissed off that Edge never mentioned Christian or the ECW Title. But it made sense when ECW would go down the crapper. That makes him a lame duck champion. We get the jokes on Sheamus and Sheamus claims that in two weeks, Christian would be unemployed. Not so fast…in two weeks, the ECW stars will be free agents. Christian laids out a challenge to the WWE Champion. What better time than right now?
WWE Champion v. ECW Champion: Sheamus v. Christian
The bell rings and here we go! They lock up and Sheamus hits an armdrag on Christian. Another lockup and Sheamus tees off on Christian. At the ropes, Christian looks for a crossbody, but Christian gets caught and is subjected to a fallaway slam. He gets sent out of the ring and we go to commercials!
Commercials.
We’re back as Sheamus is still in control of Christian. Christian telegraphs Sheamus in the ring and he follows with a shoulder takedown. Christian blocks the Irish Whip and Christian allows Sheamus to take himself out of the ring. SPRINGBOARD PLANCHA OFF THE TOP CONNECTS ON SHEAMUS! Sheamus catches Christian at the ring post and he snaps the arm in place. The count gets broke up and Sheamus rams Christian into the retaining wall. Back in the ring, Sheamus works on the injured arm. Cover gets two. Christian is on his stomach and Sheamus works on the arm some more. They work in the corner a bit and Christian scores a missile dropkick! HE IS FEELING IT! He goes after Sheamus and he scores a slap to the face. Christian hangs on the apron and he drops Sheamus on the ropes. Elbow drop connects and Sheamus catches Christian off the ropes. The backbreaker attempt is blocked. They miss each other, but Sheamus finds a clothesline. PELE KICK! TORNADO DDT CONNECTS! PIN! TWO COUNT ONLY! He looks for the Killswitch…Sheamus counters, but Christian hangs on. Christian misses the missile dropkick and Sheamus hits the Pump Kick! The Razor’s Edge (seriously, can we get a finisher name for this? I heard the Celtic Cross among other things) finishes.
Winner: Sheamus
Grade: C+
Backstage, Triple H watches with no emotion and Shawn waltzes in the room. Shawn is looking for DX to be a part of Wrestlemania. However, Triple H has other plans and he intends on winning the WWE Title. Shawn replies “So it’s all about you now?”.
Up next: EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE!
Commercials.
WWE Slam of the Week: Stu Hart won’t be inducted in the WWE Hall of Fame. That almost earned Vince McMahon a Sharpshooter. Then Batista gets involved. Vince then spits in Bret’s face.
Jerry Lawler goes to heel mode and says that Vince found closure by spitting in Bret’s face.
We get the exclusive footage of John Cena helping Bret Hart. This brings Batista back out in the ring and HE DESTROYS CENA! BATISTA BOMB ON THE STEEL STEPS!
Backstage, Cody talks to Ted and Ted is proud that he is in the Elimination Chamber. Cody claims that he had the harder match and is jealous of Ted’s success. Ted then says that he is better than Cody Rhodes and in comes Randy Orton and he asks if Ted is better than him. So tonight, Ted gets John Cena and Cody Rhodes gets him tonight. Interesting.
The Unified Tag Team Titles are line…NEXT!
Commercials.
We’re back and the Straightedge Society makes their way to the ring. Mic time for CM Punk and he tries to save the crowd. He vows that the sXs will win the Unified Tag Team Titles. We have a celebrity in the house…The Subway Guy! Punk wants Jared to be the Spokesperson for the sXs. Jared wants no part of this. Too bad as Luke and Serena decide to take matters into their own hands.
Not so fast…ARE YOU READY?
Unified World Tag Team Championships: CM Punk & Luke Gallows v. DX v. The Miz & Big Show
Balls to the Wall from the get go and DX throws everyone out of the ring. The match hasn’t officially started, but it will after these messages!
Commercials.
We’re back and Punk has Michaels in dire straits. Big Show crushes both of them and he finds himself in the ring with Trips and Luke Gallows. Trips and Gallows team up, but Big Show no-sells them both and he takes it to Gallows. Chop in the corner for Gallows and one for Trips. Here comes the Game and he hits the knee smash. Pedigree attempt, but he takes an over-the-top-rope bump and Punk gets tagged into the fray. Break time again.
Commercials.
Back from break, CM Punk is owning both Triple H and the Miz. The Miz finds himself giving the punishment until the Game takes their heads off! Dropkick by Punk and he covers for two. Miz charges at Punk in the corner and Serena DROPS MIZ LIKE A BAD HABIT! Miz chases after her and he gets PLANTED BY TRIPLE H! Punk keeps Trips away, but HERE COMES SHAWN! Kip up by Shawn and he goes for the Atomic Drop! Scoop slam connects and he goes up top. Elbow Drop connects! He tunes the band and LUKE GALLOWS LEVELS SHAWN! GTS Attempt…COUNTERED TO SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Punk is eliminated!
Eliminated: CM Punk & Luke Gallows
Big Show levels DX and he stalks Shawn. He says Shawn is weak and he gives a headbutt. Gut punch connects and the Miz scores a cheap shot. Show steps on Shawn and he stalks him. Shawn tries to battle back, but with Big Show it’s impossible. Show eats a kick twice on a corner charge. Shawn walks into a side slam and that gets a two count. Tag to the Miz and he takes it to Shawn. Boot to the face connects and that gets another two count. Headlock applied. Shawn gets the second coming of Christ, but Miz plants him with a neckbreaker. Skull Crushing Finale attempt is…blocked. Miz tags Big Show and he pulls Michaels away. SWEET CHIN MUSIC CONNECTS! TAGS ALL AROUND! Trips takes it to the Miz! High knee connects and the Miz eats another knee. SPINEBUSTER CONNECTS! Michaels tags himself in?! Miz shoves Michaels into Triple H…SCHOOLBOY! NEW CHAMPIONS!
Winners: The Big Show & The Miz
Grade: B+
The Miz is now walking around with about 30 pounds of gold now. In the ring, Triple H is giving Shawn a deathly stare. Shawn takes off the DX grub and he leaves the ring disgusted. Triple H is all “WTF”?
Commercials.
We’re back and we recap our last match. Josh Matthews are with the new champions and Big Show mouths Chris Jericho. They are The MizShow and they are awesome. Actually, Big Show likes the name ShowMiz better. Miz won’t argue with that.
We recap the two main events for WWE Elimination Chamber.
Backstage, Shawn Michaels is pissed off and he finds Teddy Long. He wants traded to SmackDown. What about DX? Shawn doesn’t care. His mind is back on the Elimination Chamber. Carlito wants in the segment so bad that he tries to get closer and he smiles as if he is like “LOOK MOM, I’M ON TV!” Triple H asks Shawn if he wants to throw his career away. It’s already over and he kicks T-Lo in the teeth. Shawn’s crazy!
Commercials.
We’re back and Shawn’s obsession with the Undertaker is taking him to a place of no return. Joining the commentary is Maryse and we get news that the Divas Title match promised on RAW last week and thought to be on tonight…will take place at the Elimination Chamber Pay-Per-View because the WWE wants us to pay for the match. Maryse calls Michael her favorite Vintage Nerd. HAHA! Michael Cole redeems himself for the past few years by taking the name and saying that it’s her pet name for him. Oh. My. God. We have a match and no one told me?
Jillian Hall v. Gail Kim
In progress, Jillian takes it to Gail. SHE SWEEPS THE LEG and scores a two count. Maryse was OFFENDED at the Mickie James/Michelle McCool angle. Feet to the face by Gail and the match is already over.
Winner: Gail Kim
Grade: FTS
Maryse gets on the mic and she continues the respect angle and she wants the best match of her life with her. She speaks French and Gail should actually understand this. They shake hands and we get no confrontation.
WWE Hall of Fame Inductee: Ted DiBiase, Sr.
Commercials.
Our weekly Santino segment. He messes up the $5 Footlong commercials. Jared plugs the current Subway special. He hands Santino a Subway gift card. Santino wants Jack Swagger and we’ll get that Thursday on Superstars! Kofi Kingston is here and he is not worried about not being booked tonight. Next week, he wants all six members of the Elimination Chamber in random matches. So next week, Jerry Springer makes those matches.
Weird.
Cody Rhodes v. Randy Orton
The bell rings and they stare each other down. Orton shoves to start and they mouth each other. Cody acts like the b*tch until Cody raises his voice. BITCH SLAP BY RHODES and Orton kicks him in the gut. Dropkick by Rhodes gets a two count. They lock up and Cody is the aggressor. Orton tees off on Rhodes until Rhodes gets a side Russian leg sweep for two. Orton hangs Rhodes off the ropes to take back control. Orton tees off on Rhodes again in the corner and he picks Rhodes up on top of another corner. Superplex attempt is blocked and Rhodes looks for the crossbody…but misses. Orton looks for the RKO…Sheamus gets involved. Rhodes capitalizes and hits the CrossRhodes for the win! Shocking!
Winner: Cody Rhodes
Grade: C-
Sheamus isn’t done as he hits the pump kick on Orton. He looks for more punishment, but Rhodes has a steel chair and Sheamus thinks discretion is the better part of valor.
We get shown the devastating attack on John Cena last week once again.
Commercials.
Josh Matthews is with Carl Edwards, who has a major announcement. Next week on RAW, the six Elimination Chamber opponents will face off in singles matches. We get Sheamus/Orton; Kingston/DiBiase; and Triple H/John Cena.
Ted DiBiase v. John Cena
CENA BEATS THE HELL OUT OF TED DIBIASE! He tosses DiBiase out of the ring and he THROWS DiBiase against the retaining wall. CENA HAS SNAPPED! STF applied on the outside and DiBiase taps out. The referee wants Cena to let him go and we get more referees out on the scene.
Result: No Contest
Cena isn’t here for a match and he isn’t going to waste anymore time. He wants Dave Batista and he wants him NOW! Batista was ordered to take Cena out and he didn’t succeed. He wants Batista to come out and face the JOB. Batista doesn’t answer and we go to break.
Commercials.
We’re back and John Cena is still in the ring talking to the fans. Cena says that Batista is afraid of showing up for Monday Night RAW. He should be. Cena talks about a business decision and it dawns on him that Vince had to be in on this. If Cena can’t fight Batista, then he wants to talk to Vince McMahon. Vince obliges. He comes out with a swagger, but he stays on the stage and he brings out a team of security detail. Vince wants Cena to say what is on his mind. Cena pokes fun that it takes a tank to stop Cena. He gives Vince two choices. Talk like men or send the security detail in and watch them get mowed down. Vince says that he is man enough. We go into the Adam and Eve story. He admits that he brought Batista out just so he could screw Bret Hart again. Vince denies having anything to do with Batista attacking him. It could have been Cena eliminating Batista from the Rumble. Vince admits that he does not like John Cena. He doesn’t like the orange colors, the Louisiana Hastings. He hates Cena personally, but he LOVES Cena on a business sense. Cena gets unglued and it’s all about the damned dollar. Cena says that Vince does it for the money and he does it because he loves it. He vows that he will leave the Elimination Chamber as the WWE Champion. He says that he talked to Bret Hart and he wants another moment. He wants to wrestle another match! He wants to wrestle another match at Wrestlemania and he wants that opponent to be Vince McMahon! Vince says that is the one thing Bret doesn’t want. Cena says that is what he wants and the spotlight is now on Vince. Is he about the money or is he about the moment. He says that Bret doesn’t want any of him. Cena asks him “Yes or No”? Vince tells Cena to shut up and he says that he’ll do it! Cena thanks him and says that he has one more person to say yes to. Vince talks to Bret, who has to be at home just why he doesn’t want a piece of Vince McMahon. Cue the recap from last week.
That is why Bret doesn’t want Vince. HERE COMES BRET! He attacks Vince and he attacks the security detail as well. Vince changes his mind and he says no because Bret deserves to be screwed. He runs away and Bret destroys the equipment in the process. He returns ringside to destroy more equipment. He stands inside the ring and he surrounds himself with the fans as his music plays.
Show Over.
The Final Pulse
This week’s show scored a C if you count the abortion of the Diva’s match or a B- if you pretend it didn’t happen. Once again, the main event segment was awesome even though I was more intrigued for an actual match with Cena and DiBiase. Overall, Carl Edwards was the better guest host than the other two NASCAR punks we had a while back. Not a bad week this week. Wrestlemania season has officially begun!
I won’t be around next week, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy the replacement I have lined up for you. Enjoy Jerry Springer next week and have a great week!
