Oh New York City, how I missed you. I dabble in the other Housewives , but really, this is the best set of characters on Bravo and we all know it. I’m so ready for Ramona and Simon to fight again, for more Kellyisms, to see Jill and Bethenny’s friendship grow –
Wait, what? Apparently Season 3 takes place in an alternate universe where up is down and flats are stilettos. Jill and Bethenny are done, Jill, Kelly, and LuAnn are besties, Ramona is happy-go-lucky and cut off her locks to prove it. She also gained five pounds. It’s a new show all together.
We begin with a party on a yacht in the Hamptons. Jill seems to be in a particularly bad mood (Ramona’s cheap! Doesn’t look like Cameron Diaz!) and we soon find out why: She had a falling out with Bethenny. From all that Jill says in the episode, we gather that Bethenny disappeared into doing her own thing around the same time that Bobby got sick and Jill needed a friend. When Jill called out Bethenny, she was told to get a hobby. Ouch.
LuAnn starts her own little argument – apparently Mario called her “countless.” Ha ha! That’s funny. Kind of mean, but it’s a throwaway comment these women should be used to by now. Ramona stomps away calling her classless. That’s what happens when you write a book about being well-mannered; your own manners are dissected and attacked when they don’t hold up. And LuAnn is many things, but a classy, diplomatic person isn’t one of them.
There’s a funny/sad scene as Ramona proceeds to dissolve into tears, call Jill and LuAnn mean girls, elaborate on her experience with abuse, stop crying, and begin drinking. As any college girl will tell you, tequila does solve all problems.
When we see Bethenny, we get a glimpse at her shiny new life. Her career is booming, she has a new boyfriend, and was asked to pose for a PETA ad campaign. I forget how old she is, but it doesn’t matter, she has a smoking body. And a hot boyfriend! I’m officially on Team Jason, he seems like a nice and sensible man to balance Bethenny.
We get a slightly different version of events from Bethenny. She was busy with her career and new love, and Jill was acting needy. I can understand that – every friend secretly hates it when their girls get wrapped up in their boys – but asking why Bethenny didn’t take her to Turks and Caicos? Asking to host The Today Show? That’s a bit much. Bethenny wonders if Ramona was right last season about Jill liking friends who’re the underdog, people she can groom to her liking. Maybe she does need a new hobby.
The final argument in an episode full of arguments is between Bethenny and LuAnn. I’m not too sure what happens here. Bethenny just wants a drink, LuAnn is passive aggressive. Bethenny wants the pontification on class and manners to stop. LuAnn thinks Bethenny is snarky, Bethenny think LuAnn is fake. LuAnn wants a truce, Bethenny doesn’t want to be inauthentic. The scene ends on a rather inauthentic note as they hug. Bethenny seems well aware of how phony it all is and wants a shower.
Random Thoughts:
- Kelly’s sole contribution to this episode is her lovely pearls of wisdom regarding Bethenny. “I was like, that does not a friend make! That’s not a friend, that’s called a foe!” Oh, and stuff about her hitting her boyfriend.
- Ramona’s mean girls comment wouldn’t have been half as good if they didn’t immediately cut to show LuAnn and Jill bad-mouthing her.
- Are you on Team Bethenny or Team Jill? I’m not sure yet, I just really want them to be friends again. They were the nice part of RHONYC, and without that relationship at its center, it’s just a lot of toxic fighting. I would go to Atlanta if I wanted that.
- The previews for the season look so good! I wonder how many episodes I have to get through to see “GO TO SLEEP!”
