-So yes, I know that there was no recap last week, and I apologize. I’ve started a new job (which is a good thing), but it’s exhausting, and so the chances of me making it through an episode of a show that started at 10 were more or less nil. Now that I’m more used to the schedule, I’m happy to be back, ready to give you my incessant opinions about everything.
-That being said, for the next, oh, seven weeks, the recaps probably won’t be as long, as I simply need to go to bed earlier and can’t continually pause the show for fifteen minutes at a time to rant about whatever I see. Therefore, I expect them to be a little less in depth, but I’ll just have to see how I play it.
-Some quick thoughts on last week: Titus O’Neil was the guy to go, but he did have a classy speech to go out on, which I thought was a nice touch. I’m also totally jazzed that Kaval is #1, even if it was a bit soured by Cole taking a swipe at his popularity with Internet fans. Maybe it’s because the guy’s good, Mr. heel announcer man. I have to keep reminding myself that Cole is a heel on this show and that he doesn’t necessarily think the things that he says. Maybe he does, but it’s beside the point.
-Okay, super party fun time. The Pros come out, and it’s always heartwarming to see a) Cody Rhodes totally loving his cocky heelishness, and b) Kofi getting his monster pop. Zack Ryder is asked about his rookie being eliminated last week, and he feels, naturally, that Titus was robbed. “He had everything. He had me as his pro, he had the dog bark…” He neglects to mention that he also had a t-shirt that looked like it was made in 10 minutes with some iron-ons by a group of seven-year olds. I mean, that thing just looked embarrassing, didn’t it? That being said, I finally saw SOME potential in him last week, but we’ll see if they ditch him or decide to send him back down to FCW until further notice.
-The rookies are announced, and each comes out to various pops. It should be noted that Kaval gets arguably the biggest pop, which does my heart good. Apparently, when you do sweet moves in the ring that make everyone else look like amateurs, you get over. Who knew? It should ALSO be noted that this is the only show which I can stand LayCool on. They’re ditzy, but so much more positive than their bitchy, nasty, super-shallow personas on Smackdown. I find myself really wanting a face version of LayCool on main show, but maybe NXT is a testing ground for such things in the future. Their love and enthusiastic support of Kaval is really pleasant, and I love that he still wears the shirt that they made him, either out of respect or just as a way to keep them off his back. He seems to dislike them on Smackdown, but doesn’t seem to carry that frustration over to NXT.
-Hey, where’s Ashley Valence? Did they can her already? She didn’t seem ready for TV, but it’s not like she was Mike Adamle bad.
-Striker asks Husky Harris if the pressure is on him now, as he was seventh last week. Husky acts all threatening towards Striker, and I would care if they decide to go anywhere with it, but they seem to be putting that on the backburner for now. Alex Riley lambasts the WWE Universe for making him fourth, and giving number one to “a guy that isn’t tall enough to ride the bumper cars at Six Flags.” Okay, to be fair, he could totally ride the bumper cars. Kingda Ka and El Toro, however, might give him some trouble. Riley is easily the best on the mic of all of these guys. He’s not AMAZING on the mic, but he’s plenty good, and compared to the wackadoos he’s competing with, he might as well be Ric Flair.
-Man, doesn’t Kaval have the deepest voice you’ve ever heard come out of a guy that small? His mic time, however, just comes down to, “You think I was a fluke, Alex Riley? Just listen to the WWE Universe.” And they all cheer. And that’s it.
-Oh god, they’re doing the mic challenge where they’re given a topic. Are they going to have to talk about flowers again? They’re at least given ten seconds to think about it, unlike last time. I say Percy Watson takes this. Winner gets a talk show next week. That’s not terrible. Percy is first, and his topic? Glasses. You got to be able to see what you want outta life, you know what he’s sayin’? He’s charismatic, if a bit goofy. It’s such a strange character, but I may warm up to him. Kaval’s topic is chicken. This could get messy. He says that he has the biggest heart, which is something that I HATE to hear people to say. He then totally patronizes the WWE Universe, saying that with their help, he’ll win. Striker calls him out on being patronizing, but who cares? The whole thing is a popularity contest anyway. Eli Cottonwood gets the topic “mustache.” Not that it makes any sense, and if I recap it, my brain might explode. The best part is when they cut to John Morrison, whose face seems to say, “What was that about?” Mike McGillicutty gets breath, but he just ignores the topic completely, although he does say, “I’m gonna take your breath away” by the end. Husky Harris gets “doorknob” which would be a great insult. He used it to get in here, he’s ticked that he was voted number seven, and screw the rest of us, that’s it. Cody seems pleased with his attitude, but the crowd isn’t too fond of him. Lucky Cannon is supposed to talk about deodorant, and compares himself to the topic, and the WWE to a smelly guy that needs him. He actually spoke halfway decently, but I don’t see this particular speech going anywhere. Alex Riley is assigned “pigeon.” Wonderful. He compares everyone else to pigeons, and Miz is, unsurprisingly, pleased.
-The winner? Percy Watson. Kaval was a close number two, but man, I’m glad he lost, as that would have been BRUTAL.
COMMERCIALS
Match One: Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty
-Huh…their respective Pros, despite not being in the match, spend the duration of it on the apron. Weird. Glazer is right: McGillictty does move really well in the ring. I think Watson is in tremendous, tremendous shape, but McGillicutty might just flow the best of anyone out there, although maybe short of Kaval, but to be fair, he’s also about ten years short of experience in that particular comparison. The match itself is fairly basic, and McGillicutty catches Watson in a sunset flip, and it’s all over.
Winner: Michael McGillicutty
Rookie Video Package: Titus O’Neil
-Maybe this is closer to being a post-mortem. Some of the guys talk about how he has a level of charisma and is the size of a truck, but Miz focuses on his awkwardness in the ring and odd promo skills. The best is seeing Michelle McCool’s face after his “If you’re gonna win…make it a win” statement from the first episode. Major “wha-huh-wha?” moment. See how crazy this show is? It made me approve of something Michelle McCool did. Insane.
-Replay of his goodbye speech from last week. Again, it was a nice one. Might be a good role model should they ever decide to bring him back for whatever reason. Might I suggest a bit more seasoning before they do.
COMMERCIALS
Match Two: The Miz vs. Kaval
-Boy, do Miz and Riley look alike. Watching Kaval get groomed like a puppy is a little weird, but not ultimately surprising. I think Miz is taking this one, as he’s been on a roll as of late. Wow, it’s scary how far Miz has surpassed Morrison these days, isn’t it? Who’da thunk? Miz capitalizes early with a boot out of the corner, then hits his running clothesline to the corner. Kaval reverses a slam attempt, but Miz quickly regains control by tossing him out of the ring.
COMMERCIALS
-We return to a reverse facelock by Miz, who spent the commercial break slamming him into the apron. However, a quick reversal later, and Kaval sunset flips Miz, and follows immediately with a double stomp about ten centimeters away from Miz’s neck. Sure, it was badass, but DUDE, no maiming current champions. That last thing we need is losing the best guy on the show because he accidentally crushed someone’s larynx Randy-Savage style. Kaval is back with strikes and kicks, including that awesome cartwheel spin kick that he showed everyone last week. Warriors Way is blocked at the top, and Miz attempts a superplex at the top only to be thrown down. However, Miz knocks Kaval off the top, and I’m thinking he’s toast. Skullcrushing Finale, and Kaval is done. Layla is devestated. I definitely think this shows that he can hold his own with any of the Pros, though. LayCool are happy with him, but not crazy about the sweat. Eww.
Winner: The Miz
Rookie Video Package: Eli Cottonwood
-I believe Layla says it best: “He’s so tall!” The consensus is that sure, he’s big, and sure, he’s crazy, but he’s a bit clumsy in the ring, and even his Pro, Morrison, has to admit it. Miz isn’t intimidated, and Mark Henry says that he’s going to have to dominate his opponents. I’m not quite sure what that last one means, but I suppose it involves having to realize that his size is what brought him to the game, and so he’s got to use that to end matches good and quick.
COMMERCIALS
-Raw Rebound. Nexus Violence! I dig. This is followed by a Money in the Bank PPV rundown. Next.
Rookie Video Package: Husky Harris
-Cody thinks he’s got a lot going for him, but also a lot against him. The Miz: “He’s got a great look, he’s intriguing…but he’s fat.” Everyone seems to think he’s got something in the ring, and all agree that he’s deceptively fast and athletic for his size. I agree, and I also think that he’s got the chance to do something in WWE regardless of how he does in the NXT competition.
COMMERCIALS
Match Three: Rhodes and Husky Harris vs. Mark Henry and Lucky Cannon
-I don’t see this one going on too long, as I have my DVR set to record seven minutes extra, and we’re pushing the limit here. I think Cody Rhodes could teach a course on facial expressions, and I still don’t really have a problem with Harris’, despite what Glazer thinks. I love that the announcers are also referring to Cody as “Dashing,” just like he asked them to. After a bit of a schmoz, Rhodes grabs Cannon, hits Cross Rhodes, and it’s night night for Lucky.
Winners: Husky Harris and Cody Rhodes
-A fine enough show, I guess. Kaval looks good in defeat, Cody Rhodes is reeking of awesomeness, and I’m warming up to Percy Watson. Indeed, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he occassionally brings us joy, even if it is delivered by sexually questionable men in bright red glasses without lenses.
-Night all.
