Sunday Evening Commentary: Who Is This Guy And Why Are They Calling Him Kaine? Mini Amazing Spider-Man Rant

I read the Clone Saga.

Not only that, I enjoyed most of the Clone Saga.

Maybe it’s because of this that I look over Amazing Spider-Man and find a few issues with how Kaine has been treated in The Grim Hunt, namely the fact that there is no precedence to show how he could ever be mistaken for Peter Parker unless it’s a strictly DNA test with no eye witnesses.

Kaine is the first failed Spider-Clone created by the Jackal, and he had the Clone Degeneration disease. He was also ginormously massive. As in noticeably bigger than Peter or Ben was, to the point where it wasn’t obvious that they were fighting yet another Spider-Clone. With Ben there was no doubt, he looked like Peter, he moved like Peter, he had the exact same body shape. Kaine? No dice, even beyond his scarred up face, he was a mountain of a man who dwarfed Peter and Ben when he stood next to them.

He’s not Ben Reilly, he’s not an identical clone. He’s bigger, he’s stronger, he’s got long hair and a ton of scars.

I mean, he interacted with Mary Jane who had no clue that it was a Peter Parker clone, and I mean, if you’re married to a guy, and you don’t recognize his genetic duplicate, then it’s most likely because he doesn’t resemble anything close to the original.

It was a critical point, because if he had been able to pass himself off as Peter Parker then he wouldn’t have a problem going and having his own life, he wouldn’t have been all angsty and angry and scarred and murderous. He wouldn’t have been in constant pain as his body kept burning itself out from the inside and changing his outside appearance to become more scarred and nasty.

So what’s the point of this? Well, really it’s just this. There’s no reason that Kaine should ever look like this and people actually believe he’s Spider-Man. It makes no sense when you look at the character at any point of his existence, he’s never been Peter Parker sized, he’s never fit into the Spider-Man costume, and seeing him fit like a glove is just ignoring a lot about the character to make a square fit into a circle hole.

Rest in Peace Kaine, the least you deserved was to die as you lived…..not looking like Peter Parker.

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