Well, with everyone chiming in on what they’d like to see in my last column, I’ve decided that for Saturday’s I’ll do the 1994 Superstars set and on Wednesday’s/Thursday’s I’ll do the 1995 season of WCW Monday Nitro. For those wanting the 1996 season of Monday Night Raw, don’t worry it’s coming in due time.
-Vince McMahon and Stan Lane are in the booth for todayâ€™s New Years Day edition of WWF Superstars.
-Opening Contest: Jacques (w/Johnny Polo) vs. Lex Luger:
Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon are on commentary for this match. Jacques gets on the mic and after talking for what feels like an eternity he says that he isnâ€™t going to wrestle Luger until he sees medical evidence that the plate in Lugerâ€™s forearm has been removed. Ross and Monsoon say thatâ€™s ridiculous but it makes sense to me. However, referees force Jacques to go back into the ring because according to them contract law supersedes personal safety. Left with no other choice, Jacques attacks Luger before the bell and maintains the advantage with Poloâ€™s help. After a beat down on the floor Jacques rolls Luger in for two and applies a chinlock. Luger gets out and takes Jacques to the buckle ten times. Luger delivers a powerslam and an elbow drop but Jacques delivers an inverted atomic drop when Luger tries some second rope punches in the corner. Luger accidentally whips Jacques into the referee and both men collide to create a double KO. Polo revives the referee as Pierre runs down to the ring, replaces Jacques, and covers Luger for two. Pierre angrily pounds away but Luger makes the comeback and hits him with the running forearm smash for the pin at 6:32. Jacques runs into the ring to protest so Luger hits him with the forearm and pins him at 6:56. Polo runs into the ring after that so Luger gives him the same treatment. Although the match was terrible that was a good house show finish. Grade: D-
-Jim Ross hypes an upcoming show at Madison Square Garden and it will have a New York City-style Royal Rumble. Tatanka will also fight WWF Champion Yokozuna.
-Razor Ramon says that smokerâ€™s are losers. Insert your own clever joke here.
-The Headshrinkers (w/Afa) vs. Mike Khoury & Tim McNeany:
In the split screen, the Headshrinkers unintelligibly ramble about the Royal Rumble. McNeanyâ€™s clotheslines have no effect on Samu and he gets blasted with a thrust kick. Khoury tries his luck but Samu gives him the same treatment and the Headshrinkers give him a double headbutt. Vince hypes a WWF card in New York that is being put on to help a high school student council. Can you imagine the WWE doing that today? The Headshrinkers give Khoury a double reverse side Russian leg sweep and Fatu pins Khoury after a top rope splash at 2:54. This was a serviceable squash for the Headshrinkers.
-Ray Rougeau interviews Intercontinental champion Razor Ramon. He warnsâ€¦IRSâ€¦that taking his gold chainsâ€¦was a bad idea. He says Shawn Michaels giving him the Razorâ€™s Edge on Raw hasnâ€™t hurt him and that at the Royal Rumble if IRS wants the Intercontinental title heâ€™s going to have to come and get it. Good intensity from Ramon and it did a good job balancing his dual feuds with IRS and Michaels.
-Bastion Booger vs. Tony Roy:
Trevor Jones, a kid that canâ€™t be more than three years old, is our guest ring announcer and he messes up Royâ€™s name. Roy doesnâ€™t seem to mind but Iâ€™m sure he minds Booger giving him a backdrop to start the match. A falling powerslam finishes things in 56 seconds. After the match, Booger gives Roy a Trip to the Batcave for fun.
-Thurman â€œSparkyâ€ Plugg is coming!
-Owen Hart (w/Bret Hart) vs. Barry Hardy:
Since Owenâ€™s a face he makes sure to give his shades to a young fan at ringside. Owen hiptosses Hardy and goes after the arm as Bret and Owen appear in the split screen and let the Quebecers know that they are coming to win the tag team titles at the Royal Rumble. Owen connects with a missile dropkick and gets the submission with the Sharpshooter at 1:46. I usually donâ€™t care for Owenâ€™s squash matches but this one was solid.
-Todd Pettengill gives us the Royal Rumble report. The Undertaker is shown building a casket for Yokozuna.
-Ludvig Borga vs. John Crystal:
Borga attacks Crystal before the opening bell and as he hammers away Tatanka appears in the split screen and says that he canâ€™t wait to get revenge on Borga at the Royal Rumble. Itâ€™s a shame that Borga got injured shortly after this and disappeared. Borga gives Crystal a Samoan drop and hits a leg drop. A backbreaker rack finishes at 2:03.
-Jim Ross talks about the Madison Square Garden show some more. Razor Ramon will face Jeff Jarrett in an Intercontinental title match and Ludvig Borga will face Rick Steiner (this was the match where Borga suffered the ankle injury that killed his WWF run).
-Tune in next week to see Bret Hart, Jeff Jarrett, and Razor Ramon in action! Also, WWF President Jack Tunney will decide whether Lex Luger can enter the Royal Rumble and WWF Champion Yokozuna fights two men in a handicap match.
The Final Report Card: The feature match was pretty bad, but the rest of the card came together nicely and effectively put over the rest of the talent although some of that talent (i.e. Borga and Booger) wouldnâ€™t be around much longer.
Show Grade: D+
Tags: Afa, Bastion Booger, Bob holly, Bret Hart, Fatu, Gorilla Monsoon, IRS, Jack Tunney, Jacques Rougeau, jeff jarrett, Jim Ross, John Crystal, Johnny Polo, Lex Luger, Ludvig Borga, Mike Khoury, Owen Hart, Pierre, Ray Rougeau, Razor Ramon, Rick Steiner, Samu, shawn michaels, Stan Lane, Tatanka, The Headshrinkers, The Quebecers, the undertaker, Thurman Plugg, Todd Pettengill, vince mcmahon, WWE, WWF, WWF Superstars, Yokozuna