-Vince McMahon and Johnny Polo are in the booth.
-Opening Contest: Lex Luger vs. Reno Riggins:
Polo informs us that Riggins was the national roller skating champion at age fourteen as Luger runs through a series of arm drags and reverses a hiptoss off the ropes. After getting to the ropes to break up a hammerlock, Riggins goes to the eyes and fires away in the corner. Riggins does a terrible Great Muta springboard elbow imitation and Luger clotheslines, backdrops, and powerslams him. The Rebel Rack finishes things at 2:30. Giving Riggins a lot of offense in the middle of this match wasnâ€™t a good call because it made Luger look weak.
-WWF Update with Gorilla Monsoon. He talks about the WWF Fan Festival before WrestleMania and that tickets for the Paramount Theater to watch the event are still available.
-A WrestleMania recap highlight shows the Undertakerâ€™s entrance at WrestleMania IX.
-â€œDouble Jâ€ Jeff Jarrett vs. Dan Dubiel:
Frank Nicas is our guest ring announcer and for a young kid he does a good job. Jarrett yells at Nikolai Volkoff, who is sitting near the ring, and Jarrettâ€™s attire makes him seem that heâ€™s a flower child instead of a country music star. Jarrett cuts a promo in the split screen before the match. When the match gets started, Dubiel arm drags Jarrett, but Jarrett gets a cheap shot when Dubiel turns his back on him. Dubiel comes back with a slam, but misses a dropkick. When Dubiel puts his head down too early Jarrett hits a DDT and gets the pin at 1:10. This wasnâ€™t a bad squash, but the ending sequence looked too choreographed because Dubiel raised his head to see if Jarrett was coming and then put it back down.
-Stan Lane hypes WrestleMania in the â€œface to faceâ€ segment. Crush says that heâ€™ll end â€œMacho Manâ€ Randy Savageâ€™s career at WrestleMania. Savage responds by saying that WrestleMania will be â€œmacho time.â€ Can you snap into that?
-Doink (w/Dink) vs. The Brooklyn Brawler:
Doink reverses a hiptoss off the ropes and a dropkick sends the Brawler to the floor. Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon appear in the split screen and they say that they canâ€™t wait until WrestleMania X, where they are going to destroy Doink and Dink in a mixed tag match. Doink misses an elbow drop, so the Brawler takes advantage with a slam and pounds away. After a over a minute of that, Doink catches the Brawler with a knee lift when the Brawler puts his head down too early and a slam and Whoopie Cushion finish at 3:09. This went on too long and was poorly paced.
-Sy Sperling says that heâ€™s coming to WrestleMania and that heâ€™s going to be the official hair consultant for the event. He shows what he can do for Doink and Dink with Hair Club for Men products, which is pretty pointless because last time I checked Doink and Dink didnâ€™t have receding hairlines.
-Diesel (w/Shawn Michaels) vs. Rich Myers:
Diesel tosses Myers around like a rag doll, but a blind charge eats buckle. Myers tries to fire away, but in a nice spot Diesel catches his fist and Myers falls to the mat in pain. Diesel catches Myers with a big boot and gives him a Jackknife the pin at 1:19. The crowd liked that finish and this is probably when Vince knew he had the right finisher for Diesel.
-Todd Pettengill provides the WrestleMania X report.
-The Bushwhackers vs. Mike Khoury & Cory Student:
The Bushwhackers dominate Khoury with their usual offense until Butch wanders into the jobber corner and is briefly double teamed. He takes out Student with a knee lift and the Battering Ram gets the win at 2:29. There werenâ€™t any comedy spots in this one and since that is what the Bushwhackers are programmed to do this match wasnâ€™t very fun.
-The Funeral Parlor with Paul Bearer has Owen Hart as its special guest this week. Owen says he canâ€™t wait to face Bret and says he loved attacking Bret at the Royal Rumble. This was just a rehash of promos Owen had done in the weeks prior to this segment.
-Crush (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. Todd Mata:
Crush grabs a Macho Man fan hand as he walks to the ring and rips it apart. McMahon acts like a human rights violation has just taken place. Crush pounds away as Randy Savage appears in the split screen and rants incoherently. Crush gives Mata a gorilla press slam and gets the submission with the Kona Clutch at 1:31. This squash couldâ€™ve done more to showcase Crushâ€™s abilities.
-Lane is back with â€œface to face.â€ The Quebecers and Johnny Polo say they canâ€™t take Men on a Mission lightly because they weigh too much. Polo cuts a brief rap against Men on a Mission and the Quebecers mock their â€œoh yeahâ€ catchphrase. Men on a Mission and Oscar say theyâ€™ll become the second black tag team in WWF history to get the belts.
-Tune in next week to see a rematch between the Earthquake and Bastion Booger. Men on a Mission, Owen Hart, and Tatanka will be in action and Lex Luger and Bret Hart will be on the show for a special interview.
The Final Report Card: There isnâ€™t anything special on this show and it suffers from the lack of a feature match. Iâ€™m not sure if Earthquake-Bastion Booger will really boost next weekâ€™s show, but it has a better lineup than what we got here.
Show Grade: Failing
Tags: Bastion Booger, Bret Hart, Crush, Diesel, Dink, Doink, Earthquake, Gorilla Monsoon, Jacques Rougeau, jeff jarrett, Johnny Polo, Lex Luger, Luke, mabel, Men on a Mission, Mike Khoury, Mo, Mr. Fuji, Owen Hart, Paul Bearer, Pierre, Randy Savage, shawn michaels, Stan Lane, Tatanka, the Brooklyn Brawler, the Bushwhackers, The Quebecers, Todd Pettengill, vince mcmahon, WrestleMania X, WWE, WWF, WWF Superstars