I love pop culture, and there was plenty of excellence this year. It’s fun to talk about what you love, but it’s even better to rant and rave. Here’s a look at ten things that irked me about 2010.Green Lantern’s first trailer – Is anyone excited to see this dreadful looking piece of garbage? The trailer may have been the worst cut travesty of 2010. The effects, especially on Oa, should make it front runner for 2011’s Worst Animated Film. Roger Rabbit was more believably integrated onto celluloid than the GL “costume” on Ryan Reynolds. Finally, what’s up with Blake Lively? She put in an Oscar worthy performance for The Town, but in the trailer she doesn’t look worthy of a spot on the stage crew of a high school production. Maybe the film’s brilliant and the folks that cut the trailer stink at the their jobs. That explains it!
Geoff Johns stunk up San Diego Comic Con 2010 with no-answer rhetoric at the GL panel. WB obviously knew this film was putrid or they’d have let Geoff do a real panel. GL’s trailer looked bad in November, can you imagine the state of this “film” back in July? Johns may be the most overrated man in comics. Bloated stories are his claim to fame; it appears that ushering awful cinema to theaters is his primary task as Creative Officer of DC.
The Walking Dead (AMC) – This show is watchable and moderately entertaining. I am stunned, STUNNED, it’s become one of the most popular cable series ever and a Golden Globe nominee. How? Almost nothing happened over the course of six episodes and most of the acting was weak. I’m thrilled to have an ongoing zombie series on the tube, but vast improvement better be ahead. The firing of the writing staff was a good start. Perhaps better scripts will take the second season somewhere other than a merry-go-round of nothing. Seriously, how many of you actually thought this was fantastic television? Decent…sure, but brilliant? Come on.
DC’s pilferage of two comic pages! They’re drawing the line! Hurrah! Comics are just $2.99 again. Yeah. Of course, they are taking two pages of storytelling. Well, DC’s logo belongs on a bottle of detergent, so they might as well take a food industry standard and give you less for less. Nice thought, but an idiotic way of carrying it out. Considering how light the reading is from most modern writers, these comics are barely gonna be worth the time it takes to open ’em.
Bright side: Maybe this helps some of the artists that can’t finish a book to meet a few extra deadlines. For those professionals actually suited to be a sequential artist, perhaps we’ll be treated to extra projects.
No Ordinary Family – What an “original” idea, well, unless you count 600 or so Fantastic Four comics or several features films (Fantastic Four and The Incredibles)! The slightest bit of originality was making it a sappy family show.. The writing is unworthy of an ’80s After School Special, and anytime the kids were on screen the show’s unwatchable. You never believed this was a real family dealing with the problems resulting from their stolen FF origin. The main crimes the show should be charged with are copyright infringement and melodramatic writing that should embarrass all involved.
Batman Inc. – What exactly makes this a top-selling idea? DC’s new thing seems to be watering down singular characters with a massive cast that’s just as “good” as the titular hero. Just stupid. DC is once again finding a way to muddy the purity of their classic characters forever. Comic fans demand change but scream about it down the line. You should scream about this stupidity, not buy it! More than one Batman is the lamest thing since everybody and their momma began wearing a power ring.
Heroes – Has there ever been a show with such a promising first season that was nigh unwatchable during its second? I struggled through till nearly the end of the third season before giving up. Positive words were bandied about the fourth season, but I refused to waste another minute of my life watching. My WTF moment centers on Tim Kring’s decision not to bring the show to a conclusion. Heaps of hubris led to a belief that a fifth season pickup was in order after losing about 75% of its audience from the start of season two to the end of season four. I’d feel sorry for anyone that bothered watching to the end, but I think more people buy comics than actually watched the last episode of this mess.
Daredevil numbering – Daredevil was renumbered a decade ago at a time when Kevin Smith was able to write comics on a somewhat regular schedule. In 2009, the math geniuses at Marvel figured they could vomit out a 500th issue and steal your extra cash. It’s all well and good to churn out the classic numbering since the industry is trying to correct their previous stupidity. This past year Marvelous ticked me off by “ending” Daredevil so Black Panther could continue the “classic” numbering. The shortsighted brutes could care less about the long term health of the industry and only focus on the nickel they can squeeze from a stone today. Another indication why the comic biz is a slowly dying beast most successful at licensing its characters to appear on underwear or as action figures.
3D – The film industry made nearly the same amount of money this year as last, BUT admissions were down by 6% (or 9 million people). The slate of films was mostly garbage, but that’s a whole lot of people avoiding theaters like the plague. Luckily for the film industry 3D allowed them to charge more for a sometimes inferior product. I have little interest in watching a movie with an uncomfortable pair of ill-fitting plastic glasses wrapped around my face. 3D films are about as useful to me as chrome covers on comics. It’s all just a lousy gimmick that costs more money and adds little to the experience.
It’s only gonna get worse. We now pay surcharges for IMAX or 3D presentations; who knows what’s next! Maybe theaters will start charging for cup holders, comfier seats, or use of the toilet. The movie producers better hope the 3D bubble doesn’t burst. If it does theater chains are going to feel that drop in admissions. Kind of like comic shops paid the price for gimmicky storytelling in the ’90s…or currently.
White Lanterns – Why do people eat up the idea of multi-colored Lanterns? Someone tell me what special pull there is to giving everyone in the DCU a ring and a stupid color scheme? How does this make Hal “Killer” Jordan and the non-murderous Green Lanterns special? Batman with a Lantern ring is stupid, so is the purity of the White Lanterns or whatever other crap was cooked up in 2010. Truly mind blowing is these lousy comics, with four-thousand crossovers, seem to be the only thing that sells anymore. When this is pushed as A-list material, there’s no wonder sales are in the toilet. The few still hitting the local comic shop adore this garbage and almost everyone else gave up a long time ago.
Insiders claim 2011 has in store: Pink Lanterns, Little Red Riding Lantern, and Golden Showers Lantern.
Excitement personified!
5 More Flops
Dollhouse comic – The television series started out okay but was unwatchable tripe by the end. Are people so blind in their love of Joss Whedon they don’t realize how badly season two stunk? Does anyone want to follow these characters anymore? Just because Joss has made amazing stuff in the past doesn’t mean you have to blindly love everything he does.
DC’s First Wave – Poorly edited mess! Read my review on the matter, if you so care.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer film reboot announced – Ha ha!
Losers/A-Team/Expendables – I liked them all, but did Hollywood think it necessary to punch out the same basic flick three times in the space of a summer season?
Gail Simone Fan Club – Gail’s fans decided to bash me for voicing an opinion. Gail is great, but you guys should remove the rose colored glasses. Skartaris was poorly utilized in Secret Six.
That’s the end of that.
