From Penny Sautreau-Fife:
Okay, seriously now, am I the only one who saw CM Punk’s beard on Raw and thought Ra’s Al Ghul?
“Come detective Cena, marry my daughter and together we shall cleanse the world!”
Okay, sorry, had to get the out of the way. It’s the geek girl in me.
So Cena’s slow subtle planting of heel turn seeds continues. Not only his mild abuse of mini-Orton, but the way he so completely pulled a dick move as the guest ref in the Punk/Barrett match. This coupled with the fact that despite being booed, the Corrrrrrre seem to be genuine about shifting tactics, with Barrett openly admitting he fucked up, well it seems someone on UnCreative is finally learning what makes for good wrestling tv. Let’s hope they can maintain the build. At the rate things are going now, if they really are finally aiming to turn Cena heel, it’ll pay off at Wrestlemania.
This week’s bit will be a random thought thing, since enough happened in the past week that my brain is all over the place on what to talk about, so I’ll just talk about everything on my mind.
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I do NOT like romance angles in my wrestling. With maybe one or two notable exceptions, like the Savage/Liz wedding and the fallout which lead to Jake Roberts’ best work and the Undertaker’s inevitable face turn, it rarely ever gels. Most of the time they’re just horribly uncomfortable to watch. Wrestling id generally not the best place to try and display a tough guy’s softer side. So already going in I’m antsy about Drew McIntyre wanting Kelly Kelly the dialogue Killy. Especially when he was just now finally starting to get over with the fans.
BUT.
I will admit, if this is their way of turning Drew face, it could just work, because watching Smackdown last week, I was left with 3 thoughts as a fan that tell me the angle might be working.
1) Kelly Kelly is being a shallow unfair bimbo
2) Trent Baretta is kind of a douchebag
3) Drew got royally screwed over when he seemed to be genuinely trying to better himself.
The basis of this angle for any of you not watching Smackdown, (and you should be, it’s by far the better show wrestling-wise), Drew has a crush on Kelly, but Kelly won’t even look at him cross-eyed unless he conquers his mean streak because she doesn’t like mean-spirited men. Drew legitimately tries to better himself after beating Trent by offering Trent a handshake like a good sportsman. Trent like a total douchehat slaps his hand away, pissing Drew off. Drew shitkicks Trent, but stops short of giving him another DDT when Kelly comes out looking disgusted. Or as close to disgusted as a complete vacuum of talent can. Drew drops Trent, Kelly leaves with Trent like a shallow bitch even though Trent clearly goaded Drew’s reaction, Drew is left standing in the ring angry and looking sympathetic to the crowd.
Why is this working? Well look at the make-up of the average wrestling crowd. You have 10% smarks like us, and of the other 90%, it’s usually made of of lower to middle class men and women and their kids. Of the men and women, most of those men have dealt with shallow women who made them jump through hoops for nothing. (Trust a lesbian on this, I’ve dealt with that exact kind of woman many a time). And the women have all dealt with shallow bitches that piss them off by making them as a whole look bad.
So there the seed is already planted for the audience to feel sympathy for Drew. What I hope for with this angle is Drew to go face WITHOUT winning Kelly’s heart, by realizing he doesn’t need to change himself to please anyone, and that a woman who dangles her love conditionally on a string asking him to jump through hoops isn’t worth his time.
Besides, we all know if he ever kisses Kelly onscreen he gets beat up at home.
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Teddy Long’s injury; HATE IT. Especially when it’s so mid-numbingly obvious that Vickie and Dolph are the culprits and they just took advantage of Blue Team Nexus being on Smackdown knowing everyone would blame Barrett and company. Although this could be further fuel to Barrett’s face turn.
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What the hell is the deal with Micheal Tarver wandering around backstage looking like a slick football player in his flashy suit? Him watching the monitor durig one segment was weird and random enough, but him smiling evilly at the Bellas as they passed him in the hall while talking on his cel was just too random, and a little creepy. I’m eagar to see where they’re going with this since he’s obviously on Raw and not going back to Nexus.
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Daniel Bryan and Gail Kim. Oh my fucking god Fran and I laughed our asses off at that reveal, if only because we can’t stand the Bellas in general. And Gail telling them Bryan felt sorry for them because with no more guest hosts the Bellas had nothing better to do? Absolutely fucking priceless.
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I pretty much tuned out during the Edge/Miz match because I have zero patience for unfunny, unneccesary fat shaming. Especially as Vickie has lost a great deal of weight and looks damned good for her age. I know Lawler is often being told which line to follow in his commentary, but for Lawler to be pissing me off on commentary more than Cole is a fucking achievement. Especially since Lawler is supposed to be a face now. And is fatter than Vickie. His fat jokes at her expense were not funny, they were excessively mean-spirited and cruel, and Vickie ended up looking by far the better person as she calmly took all his abuse in stride and never once let him get to her. Moments like this are when I’m uncomfortable admitting to being a wrestling fan. They’re a completely unneccesary low point on the product. Funny that the Stand Up For WWE campaign won them an award, because I can’t stand up for any company that promotes ANY kind of bigotry. It’s bad enough with the ‘E’s hostory of racist ethnic stereotype characters and borderline homophobic undercurrents, (especially odd that one, since WWE itself reeks of t3h gay), but blatant open fatphobic bigotry because hey! We’re not saying ni**er on the air like Vince did with Booker T, we’re just making fun of fat chicks! I hate when the Beautiful Ripoffs do it, I don’t need Lawler doing it too.
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Speaking of LayUnCool, Layla was absolutly smoking in her shiny purple get-up on last week’s Smackdown against Beth, but what in the bloody blue fuck was McTaker wearing? Blatant hooker clothes on tv PG? Ugly ones at that? On a terribly ugly woman to begin with? No, sorry, it’s things like that that piss me off even more about this tv PG nonsense. They seem terribly selective about what they count as pg. Taker’s old lady gets to dress like a Vegas slut, but Cena gets legit fined for saying ass in a promo? God, make the hurting stop!
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Well that’s my angry lesbian ranting for this week. Tune in next week, same dyke time, same dyke channel! (Glazer’s Note: Sorry, actually it will be next Wednesday, not Thursday. It’s posted a day late- something came up yesterday.)
