Vickieâ€™s voice tears through the arena to kick things off. She informs us that Teddy will not be attending this episode, and she is the GM for the night. Randy Orton cuts her off as he enters. I feel like I havenâ€™t seen him in agesâ€¦I have to start watching Raw again. Orton threatens Dolph, and promises to take the belt back on Sunday. Dolph is out to rescue his woman, and theyâ€™re shouting at each other. Naturally, it leads to an RKO. Time to pose, and then weâ€™re done.
Come back to LayCool entering, but Kaitlyn and Kelly Kelly rush out and the fight begins early. I love Kaitlyn, so it breaks my heart to see her get lost in Kellyâ€™s extensions.
Bell rings, and weâ€™re off. Kaitlyn gets a solid kick to her face after they shuffled around, and itâ€™s already over. Wow.
Drew McIntyre enters, Kelly on commentary. Which means his opponent will be Barreta, right? Nope, JTG. Butâ€¦why?
JTG is already on top, ejecting Drew from the ring, but the tables quickly turn. (â€œWho knows whatâ€™s going through Kellyâ€™s head, if anything!â€ Coleâ€¦stop being funny. It makes it difficult to hate you.) Drop kick to JTG, and slowed back down for a submission hold. Quick reversal from JTG, hell of a roll up, but only for two. Another roll up after a beatdown from JTG, for another two. All of a sudden, boom, Futureshock, and itâ€™s over.
Meh. Not the greatest, but not atrocious.
Kelly approaches the ring, climbs in, but Drew walks away and back up the ramp. Atta boy!
A recap of Cody Rhodes and Rey Mysterio, and then we cut backstage to Codyâ€™s back. Heâ€™s crying about his face, and he says he has been instructed to not compete in the Rumble. Still blubbering, he is distraught by not being â€œDashingâ€ anymore. Then walks away.
Yet another interview, this time with Edge. Heâ€™s mad about Corre, but focused on the tag team match.
Alberto is backstage, and thereâ€™sâ€¦Michael Tarver? Is that who that was?
Alberto entering for the Royal Rumble Exhibition. He has a mic, and is chattering on as usual. Heâ€™s facing 39 men. And here they are:
Alberto easily eliminates the first two (Seth Allen, Mike Stevens), but all hell broke loose when Kane entered. Alberto has a quick rally, but Kofi eliminates both men upon his entrance. Pissed, they both enter again to attack Kofi, but Rey comes out. Before anything happens, Vickie is out, making it a tag team. Lame!
Kofi and Kane start it off, Kane working on Kofi, but Kofi gets the big guy on his back. Alberto tags in once Kofi is backed into a corner, and hits a solid dropkick. Rey tags in after a struggle, Kane tags in. Rey is flying around the ring, Kane in 619 position but rolls away, and both heels are regrouping outside the ring. Rey and Kofi baseball slide into the two, Kofi suicide dives, and Rey barely misses a senton. Kane back in, Kofi gets to the top rope but is shoved off by del Rio, who then tags in. DDT from Alberto, pin, for two. Kane in, leg drop, and slows it back down. Kofi starts to get fired up, only to be struck back down. Frequent tags from Kane and Alberto, like a big red well-oiled machine manufactured in Mexico. Kofi reaches for the tag to Mysterio, makes it, Rey to the top rope, once again bouncing around,Â dropkick, for two. As Rey goes to scale the ropes, he eats a boot, and we fadeâ€¦
Come back, and Alberto has the upperhand on Rey (PS, they â€œReyâ€ I just typed is the 619th word in this reportâ€¦I was tickled by this). Mysterio is on his back, as is del Rio, Kane tags in and backs Rey into a corner. But wait, DDT from Rey, Crossbody from Kofi once he tags in, couple dropkicks, but a backbreaker from del Rio. Alberto canâ€™t tag Kane because the giant is outside the ring, Kofi to the top rope for another Crossbody, pin, broken up by Kane. Kane and Alberto argue, and Alberto is laid out by Kane who then leaves. Kofi to his feet in the background, Alberto in 619 position, connects, then a TiP, and itâ€™s over.
You know what, I loved this match. As you can tell by the fat paragraphs, a lot happened. But everyone clicked, everything jived, and I enjoyed it thoroughly! This is why the Blue Crew rocksâ€¦even odd clusterfucks such as this are incredible.
Recap of Edge vs Miz, and the mayhem that ensued on Raw.
A freshly shaven Big Show enters. Heâ€™s yapping about his size and the indefinite target on his back. We watch the Correâ€™s first congregation once more, and then he continues. He says heâ€™s now officially angry, and apparently we wonâ€™t like him when heâ€™s angry. And almost on cue, out comes The Corre with new merch that is not as spiffy as Nexusâ€™s was. They surround the ring and Show tries to intimidate them, labeling them as cowards. He wants them one on one, specifically Big Zeke. Slater chargesâ€¦and a bell rings?
Big boot to Slaterâ€™s chest, headbutt, and loud chop. Slater targets the back of the knee, taking him down but not enough. Show lands a clothesline that nearly beheads Slater, tosses him over his head about 100 feet in the air, Chokeslam, and itâ€™s over.
Does this get a grade? It was a last minute challenge to prove a pointâ€¦eh, Iâ€™ll grade it instead of giving it an â€œN/Aâ€.
The three remaining members charge and attack, demolishing the Big Show, but the Smackdown locker room empties, getting rid of the Corre. Oh, and Daniel Bryan is thrown in there, for good measure.
Another Rumble promo. I simply love this concept. Itâ€™s so cut-throat, vicious, and shocking. I canâ€™t wait to see who wins!
Miz makes his way out. Watch where you step, heâ€™s about to drop some knowledge. He gives us a history lesson. â€œWhat does this have to do with the Royal Rumble? Absolutely nothing.â€ His point is, that everything that Randy Orton says means nothing, as he will retain his belt. Oh, and heâ€™s awesome apparently. Dolphâ€™s turn to enter (I still say it should be Hollywood, Arizona nowâ€¦Dolph, rep your new state!).
Randy out next, followed by Edge. Here we go! Randy is all too eager to start, he wants Miz but Dolph begins. Both men are backed in a corner, Dolph in control. Just kidding, now Randy is. Clothesline, punches are thrown, Randy is distracted and led around the ring by Miz, only to be taken out by Dolph. I lied again, Randy is back on top. Edge climbs to the top rope and sails through the air, for a two-count. Abdominal stretch from Dolph after a tag, Miz pounces and it continues. Randy tags in, goes absolutely nuts, in snake stanceâ€¦oh, random.
And weâ€™re back. Dolph and Randy going at it, and while I was watching what happened over the commercial break, Miz suddenly tagged in. Miz is raging on Randy, slowing it down to a chin lock, Randy reached for Edge and is inches away but is pulled away. Randy to his feet, backbreaker, neckbreaker from Miz to maintain control. Suddenly, Miz is taken out and Randy crawlsâ€¦makes the tag, Miz tags, Edge in complete control. Gets rid of Miz, and those crazy eyes! He takes out Alex Riley, Randy clears Miz out of the ring, attacks Riley. Zig Zag fails, SPEAR. And itâ€™s over!
Incredible match. There was a lot of back and forth, but all men were given the opportunities to shine in their own right. I wasnâ€™t a fan of the inter-brand stuff that has been happening lately, but this restored all faith. These men were electric and I cannot WAIT to see them go at it on Sunday.
Vickie loses her damn mind, and bans the Spear from being used, a la Hellâ€™s Gate. If he Spears Dolph, heâ€™ll be disqualified AND lose his belt. So naturally, Edge Spears Dolph. But thatâ€™s not enough, he Spears him again! What a way to end Smackdown. I raise my glass to these men, and hope for many more Friday nights just like this.
The credits roll.
Tags: alberto del rio, Dolph Ziggler, edge, kane, miz, randy orton, report, royal rumble, WWE, WWE Smackdown