Here’s the card… so far announced.
1. Undisputed WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs CM Punk (c)
2. World Heavyweight Championship: Christian (c) vs Randy Orton
3. Sheamus vs Mark Henry
4. Divas Championship: Kelly Kelly (c) vs Beth Phoenix
5. Daniel Bryan vs Wade Barrett
WWE SummerSlam 2011 starts now!
Adam Jones, from Tool, is playing the national anthem. The stage is massive, but it looks cool.
They show yet another awesome video package of the Punk/Cena involving a visual demonstration of the Domino Effect.
There are AWESOME blow-ups on the stage and you know what that means…
‘AWESOME’ is blaring and out comes Miz in a trench coat with a mic. He walks down to the ring and says that he is back by popular demand. He says The Miz has returned to SummerSlam. Miz thanks the fans for supporting him in demanding that he have a match.
The Truth Will Set You Free. R-Truth comes out and tells Miz not to thank the fans. Truth rambles about the letter S. Truth says that conspiracy starts with the letter S.
Alberto Del Rio’s music hits and out he comes in a Ferrari. Apparently this is going to be a 6-Man Tag match. ‘Del Rio’ chants fill the arena.
Kofi’s music hits and he comes out to a big explosion. John Morrison is out next and I’ll take a stab at it and say that Rey is coming out next. And out he comes.
Kofi Kingston, John Morrison, and Rey Mysterio vs The Miz, Alberto del Rio, and R-Truth
Kofi and Miz start off. Kofi takes down Miz hitting some fast offense. JoMo tags in and hits a spinning leg drop for a two count. Miz kicks him and tags in Truth. Morrison takes down Truth. Morrison smashes his head on the turnbuckle before hitting the Flying Chuck for a two. Truth starts stomping away on Morrison. Morrison gets up on the turnbuckle, but Truth knocks him down. Truth goes out and smashes Morrison’s head on the apron before rolling him back in. Truth locks in a headlock. Truth tags in Miz. Miz throws him down by his hair and gets a two count. Miz locks in a headlock. Morrison fights out and kicks Miz right in the face to make him groggy. Hot tag and Kofi hits a springboard move to take down Miz. Miz attempts SCF, but Kofi reverses. Kofi hits a huge springboard crossbody. He hits the Boom Boom Drop. Kofi sets up for the Trouble in Paradise. He misses, Miz teases SCF, but Kofi hits the SOS. Del Rio breaks it up, but chaos ensues. Miz hits weird reverse facebuster for a two count. Truth tags in and lays some fists on Kofi. Truth hits the forward slam for a two count. Del Rio tags in and kicks Kofi in the face. ADR hits a backdrop for two count. ADR mocks Kofi’s taunt before targetting the leg. Kofi fights out, but Miz cuts him off from his partner. Kofi rolls him up for a two count. Miz kicks Kofi down before locking in a Camel Clutch. Kofi fights out. Kofi jumps up and stomps on Miz’s chest. Another hot tag and Rey takes down Truth. He hits a crossbody for two. Truth reverses Rey before doing some dancing. Rey kicks Truth in the face for a two count. Rey hits a hurricanrana to set-up the 619. Miz is set-up as well. ADR trips up Rey. Rey continues and hits the 619 on Truth. Kofi takes out Miz with the big crossbody over the top rope. Rey gets the three count.
Winners:Â Rey, Kofi, and Morrison
Punk is in the back with Laurenitis. Ace is demanding an apology for last week from Punk. Punk mocks sincerity by saying ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Laurenitis’. Ace walks off, but Stephanie walks up! She wishes Punk luck tonight. Punk says he finds that hard to believe. Punk asks why doesn’t she wish Vince or HHH luck? Stephanie says that both of them and Cena wish him luck. Stephanie says that she’s just Vince’s clueless right? Punk says he called her idiotic. Stephanie outstretches her hand to wish him luck. Punk says he knows where that hand has been and walks off.
They show a video package of the Mark Henry/Sheamus feud.
Mark Henry vs Sheamus
They tie up. Henry powers Sheamus down with a shoulderblock. Sheamus throws punches at Henry’s head. Henry headbutts Sheamus down. Sheamus fights out, but Sheamus hits a running shoulder that didn’t even shake Henry. Sheamus is working over Henry. Sheamus is pounding away on Henry, but Henry throws him straight over the top rope. Henry heads outside. Cole tries to leave. Henry picks up Sheamus in Gorilla Press position and throws him back in the ring. Henry hits a big splash on Sheamus and gets a two count. Henry is poised and jumps through the top two ropes and his butt comes down across the back of Sheamus who was laying on the second rope. He gets a two count. Sheamus fights back, but Henry hits a backbreaker. He stands tall taunting. He picks up Sheamus in a submission like an altered Torture Rack. Sheamus gets out, but Henry power throws Sheamus into the turnbuckle. Henry sets up for the Vader Drop but Sheamus moves away. Sheamus hits some axe handles on Henry and then hits a big jumping axe handle to take him off his feet. Sheamus drops some knees on Henry. Sheamus sets Henry up in the ropes before smashing Henry across the chest with his arms. Sheamus hits a kneelift on Henry before Sheamus hits a shoulderblock to take them both down. Sheamus goes up and hits a big Shoulderblock for a two count. Sheamus preps for the Brogue Kick, but misses. Henry clotheslines Sheamus down to the mat. Henry picks him up for the World’s Strongest Slam. Sheamus reverses and hits the Brogue Kick that knocks Henry outside. Sheamus goes out and tries to lift Henry. Henry picks him up and runs his spine into the corner pole. Henry slams Sheamus THROUGH the barricade. Sheamus is getting up but the count is up to 7. Sheamus doesn’t make it, but he was crawling close.
Winner:Â Mark Henry (Countout)
Christian is getting interviewed by Josh Matthews. Christian says that Orton isn’t leaving the World Champ. Christian says he has an insurance policy. He reminds them that it is No Holds Barred tonight. He compares himself to Harry Potter. He’s magic. He says that Orton is like Cowboys & Aliens. He says that Orton is overrated, overmatched, overproduced just like the movie.
Cee Lo Green is performing next. Do I really need to do a PxP on Cee Lo? He’s wearing a sparkly wizard cloak. Happy now? No? Well he’s singing SummerSlam’s theme song of ‘Bright Lights, Bigger City.’ That’s it. Oh no that isn’t it! The Bellas, Rosa Mendes, and Alicia Fox come out to dance to ‘Forget You.’
We’re back to important things… well sorta.
Divas Championship Kelly Kelly w/Eve vs Beth Phoenix w/Natalya
Man I love the DOD team of Beth and Natalya. Kelly goes on offense, but Beth pushes her away. Beth whips her into the corner, but Beth flips Kelly over by her foot. Kelly hits a big swinging hurricanrana. Beth gets tied up in the ropes and Kelly knocks her off the apron. Kelly jumps off the top rope to the floor with a Lou Thesz press. Beth takes down Kelly. She gorilla press slams Kelly with her neck on the rope for a two count. Beth throws Kelly around by her hair before stomping on Kelly’s face in the corner. Beth rubs Kelly’s face on her own butt. Two count. Beth locks a headlock on Kelly, she fights out by hitting forearms. Beth has Kelly on her shoulders gripped around her waist. Painful maneuver. Kelly fights out and hits a neckbreaker on Beth. Kelly hits some more forearms. Beth hits Kelly with a powerslam on the corner. She ties her to the tree of woe. Kelly dodges Beth and gets a two count on the rollup. Beth side suplexes Kelly for a two count. Beth drags her to the second rope. She runs down the apron to hit a kneelift on Kelly. Kelly knocks down Beth and she snaps! She is smashing Beth’s face on the mat viciously. Kelly runs to hit a somersault into the elbow, but Beth catches her. She sets-up the GlamSlam, but Kelly rolls up Beth for a three count.
Winner: Kelly Kelly
Stephanie is walking out of Cena’s dressing room. Truth is in the back talking about the conspiracy of him losing. Jimmy Hart is in the back and says that Truth needs someone to watch his back. He says that he needs someone to make sure he doesn’t get got. Hart says he needs him. Truth says that he needs to think big. He figures out that Jimmy Hart is Little. Little Jimmy. Truth says he’s tired of the conspiracies. He walks by Ron Artest and a little girl. I couldn’t make out what she said…
Wade Barrett vs Daniel Bryan
Wade kicks down Bryan before locking in a side headlock. Bryan throws him off, but Wade shoulders him down. Bryan hits some European uppercuts. Wade takes down Bryan for a two count. Wade is working on the arm, but Bryan rolls out and dropkicks Wade. He locks a unique arm stretch into a roll-up. Wade elbows Bryan. Wade runs the ropes before getting dropkicked. Wade is hit by Bryan in the corner with a high dropkick. Bryan ties his legs and then jumps down on them. Bryan hits some more uppercuts before hitting a backflip on the turnbuckle. Wade hit a side slam for two count. Wade hits some shots on Bryan on the ground. Wade hits a big slam before locking in a Camel Clutch. Bryan gets up and elbows out. Bryan hits a running forearm and then hits some more uppercuts. Wade takes down Bryan with a forearm for a two count. Wade chokes Bryan on the rope and then hits some knees to Bryan’s head. Wade comes off the ropes and kicks down Bryan off the apron. Wade rolls him back in for a two count. He locks in another side headlock. Bryan kicks Wade, but Wade throws him over the rope onto the apron. Wade tries to kick him off, but gets trapped on the top rope. Wade attempts the Wasteland off the apron, but Bryan fight out. Bryan jumps off the apron and hits a big flying knee straight to Wade’s face. Bryan hits a huge flying dropkick for a two count. Wade kicks Bryan before hitting a Pump Handle Slam, actually Bryan fights out and nails some kicks. Bryan kicks Wade in the chest repeatedly before hitting him in the head for a two. Bryan charges Wade in the corner, but Wade moves and hits a Big Boot. Wade picks up Daniel for the Wasteland, but Bryan elbows out and locks in the guillotine. Once he comes down he hits the LeBelle Lock! Wade gets to the ropes. Bryan kicks him in the chest. They’re both on the top rope, but Bryan gets caught on the rope in a bad position. Wade clotheslines Bryan off the top rope and then nails a Wasteland for the three count.
Winner:Â Wade Barrett
Next up is Christian vs Randy Orton!
They show a video package between Orton and Christian.
Hey look the challenger is coming out first… I kid. Christian is out first. So much for the champion always coming out last.
Christian says he has a huge announcement and that he couldn’t wait until tonight. Christian says that he is a man of integrity. Christian asks us to welcome his best friend Edge to come down and be in his corner. Edge’s music hits and Edge is all fired up to be out here. His hair is a lot shorter now. Like Jericho’s before he was fired by Eric Bischoff. They hug. Edge takes the mic. He says that was fun. Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to compete here again. Edge says he left happy because he felt like he passed the torch on to Christian. He says no one deserved it more than Christian. Edge says that him defending the title against Orton that Friday wasn’t fair. He says that Christian complained, complained, and complained. Edge says that he finally won it again. He did it by DQ? Edge says he did some terrible things, but Edge always did it with style. Edge says he wasn’t boring. Edge says he didn’t hide behind lawyers and suits. He says that Christian is a disgrace to himself. Edge says he didn’t know his best friend would become a whining, crying little bitch! Edge leaves.
World Heavyweight Championship No Holds Barred Match Christian vs Randy Orton
Christian seems messed up about the situation. Orton unloads some punches on Christian. He throws him in the corner, but Christian slaps Orton to fight back. Christian gets nailed by a clothesline by Orton. He hits a thumb to the eye and snaps his neck back on the top rope. Christian rakes Orton’s eyes. Orton throws Christian over his shoulder. Orton is stomping away on every appendage of Christian. He hits a big knee drop for a two count. Christian is riding Orton on the ropes and jumps over and attempts a slap. Orton pulls him to the second rope for the DDT, but Christian flips him outside. Orton throws Christian into the barricade. Orton is taking apart the announce table. Orton is setting up for the RKO on the table, but Christian is running away with his title. He runs into the crowd, but Orton is in pursuit. Orton catches him on the stairs and punches him back towards the ring. Orton stomps away on Christian on the concrete floor. Orton throws him over the barricade and into the ring. Orton pulls Christian’s hair and hits the 10 Count on the top rope. More like 15. Orton runs for a spear in the corner, but he misses and hits the ringpost. Christian rolls him back in. Christian grabs a Kendo Stick. Christian gets in and hits Orton in the abdomen a few times before swinging away on Orton. He is impaling Orton’s neck with the end of the Kendo Stick! He gets a two count. Christian swings for the fences, but Orton moves. Christian elbows Orton again and gets a two count. Christian charges into the corner, but is rolled up for two count. Orton hits some European uppercuts, but Christian hits a big spinebuster for a two count. Orton is bleeding from the mouth a bit. Christian gets on the second rope with the Kendo Stick, but Orton drop kicks Christian. Orton hits some clotheslines and then the scoop slam. He Vipes up and goes to hit Christian with the Kendo Stick. Christian reverses and misses with a dropkick. Orton stomps on Christian. He sets up the second rope DDT, but Christian reverses and attempts the Killswitch. Orton hits a backbreaker. Orton sets up for the Punt, but Christian rolls out. Christian tries to crotch Orton on the ringpost, but Orton pulls his legs back and Christian goes facefirst into the post. Orton pulls out some tables. Christian punches him and takes advantage. Orton is back up on the top rope and he superplexes Christian down on the table that hasn’t even been set-up yet. Weird. He gets a two count. Orton sets up the table on the corner since it won’t stand up. Orton tries to throw Christian into it, but Christian hits a reverse DDT. Christian sets up for the Spear, but Orton jumps over it. Randy attempts the RKO, but Christian throws him out of the ring. Orton whips Christian into the steel steps. Orton sets up the steel steps, but Christian throws Orton into the steel steps that are leaning against the apron. Christian drags Orton over to the announce table. Christian hits Orton with the monitor and Christian gets up on the table setting up for the RKO. Orton reverses and hits a big RKO THROUGH the table this time! Both men are crawling back to their feet. They both roll into the ring. They bump into each other and Orton attempts the RKO, but Christian nails the Killswitch for close three! Alas it is two count. Christian goes outside and grabs two steel chair. Conchairto coming? He sets a chair under Orton’s head and sets up for the conchairto. He spits in the face of Orton. Orton moves and he’s gone off the deep end. Christian is on the apron and Orton hits Christian with a steel chair and knocks Christian off through a set-up table. Orton pulls out trashcans, kendo sticks, and steel chairs and throws them into the ring. He rolls Christian into the ring. Christian is leaned over the steel steps. Orton puts his foot on Christian’s head, but he moves. Orton scoop slams Christian on to the table in the corner! Orton grabs the Kendo stick and nails Christian with it a few times. Orton second rope DDTs Christian onto the garbage can. Orton sets up the RKO on the steel steps, but Christian hits him with the Kendo stick. Christian jumps off the top rope for a headbutt and receives a RKO on the steel steps for the three count. We have a new champion!
Winner:Â Randy Orton
That ending was reminiscent of their first title match except… add the steel steps. Orton celebrates by giving us a bloody thumbs up.
They show some Axxess stuff.
Triple H and Stephanie are in the back whispering sweet nothings… or just chit-chatting.
They show the NFL video package for Punk/Cena… I’m excited for this one.
It’s Time… TO play the game! Out comes Triple H in his referee shirt. Punk is out first… I dislike this, but the fans are pretty loud! He sits Indian style in the ring as the crowd is chanting CM Punk. Cena comes out next, but the crowd is pretty split.
Undisputed WWE Championship (Guest Ref: Triple H) CM Punk vs John Cena
Never mind. Punk is getting more cheers than John. But not by much. Triple H is taking his time to start by checking them for weapons and slowly raising the belts. They’re off!
They tie up. Punk pushes Cena into the corner. Huge CM Punk chants. Cena is powering down Punk, but Punk locks a side headlock on Cena. Cena fights out, but Punk shoulders down Cena for a one count. They have a stand-off. Cena takes down Punk to a second stand-off. Cena takes down Punk in a side headlock. Cena shoulders down Punk. They’re both up again. Cena takes down Punk by his leg and locks on arm armlock. Cena locks on another side headlock. Punk throws off Cena and hits him with a reverse kick for a two. Punk wraps himself around Cena in a headlock. Cena fights out and hits a gutwrench for a two count. Cena hits a fisherman suplex for a two count. Lot of ‘you can’t wrestle’ chants. Cena slams Punk and then drops an elbow for a two count. Cena locks on… you guessed it a side headlock. Punk takes down Cena with a kick. Punk hits knees on Cena and hits a kneelift for a two. Punk hits some headbutts on Cena before getting a two. Punk wraps his legs around the midsection of Cena and is applying pressure. Cena teases the STF, but Punk kicks him away. Punk tries to suplex Cena off the apron into the ring. Cena tries to reverse. Punk kicks him in the head. Punk dropkicks him to knock him off the apron. Cena rolls back in the ring at a 5 count. Punk rams his shoulder into Cena’s midsection before kicking him down. Punk lands butt first on Cena’s chest (Finlay style) for a two count. Punk locks a hold around Cena’s neck, but Cena stands up and turns it into a side slam. Cena starts with the ‘5 Moves of Doom’, but Punk knees Cena in the head during the shoulderblock. He starts it again. He tries the spin-out powerbomb, but Punk reverses. Punk hits a knee to the head in the ropes. Punk hits an STO and then locks in a unique submission wrapping his leg and arm around Cena’s neck. Cena reverses into the STF. Punk turns it into the Anaconda Vise. HHH counts down Cena a few times before Cena locks in a Crossface. Punk gets his foot on the bottom rope. Cena runs toward Punk, but he is dumped to the outside. Punk jumps through the second rope into a suicide dive that takes down Cena. Triple H gets to a count of 9 before grabbing Cena and Punk and throwing them into the ring. They both finally get up and they trade blows. Punk is getting the better reception. Punk takes control, but Cena teases AA before Cena hits a dropkick. Here comes the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Cena tries for the AA, but Punk rolls him up for two. They both move up, but Punk knees Cena in the back of the head for a two count. Punk picks up Cena for the GTS, but Cena reverses and hits a splash in the corner. He hits a powerslam into a side slam for the two count. Cena is climbing the turnbuckle, but Punk knees him in the face. Punk jumps off the top and hits a bulldog, but he only gets a two count. Punk goes fore the springboard clothesline, but Cena sidestepped him and locked in the STF. Punk makes it to the rope. They get up and Cena tries for the AA, but Punk tries for the GTS. Cena reverses and hits the AA for the.. two count! Cena looks depressed or desperate. Cena is arguing with Punk. Cena goes to the top rope and misses with the jumping leg drop. Punk hits the GTS! And he gets a two count! Punk looks the same as Cena did. Punk goes to the top rope and hits a big elbow for a two count. Ode to Macho Man there? A big thank you Savage chant! Cena rolls up Punk for a two count. Punk hits a big knee to the sternum but they are trading blows. Punk hits a high knee again and then hits the GTS for the three count…. Cena’s foot was on the rope… Triple H didn’t see it.
Winner:Â CM Punk
Cena is arguing that his foot was on the rope. Cena rolls out. Punk is celebrating with his title. Punk is the NEW WWE Heavyweight Champion! Punk looks angrily at HHH before rolling in. Triple H is explaining what happened. he outstretches his hand. Punk doesn’t shake it, but Triple H raises his hand in victory anyways. Triple H leaves. Punk stands tall at the end of SummerSlam. KEVIN NASH! He just jackknife powerbombed CM Punk! Triple H comes out, but he looks confused at everything. ADR is on his way out! He is cashing it in!
WWE Heavyweight Championship CM Punk vs Alberto del Rio
Alberto del Rio hits an enzuigiri on Punk for the three count!
Winner:Â Alberto del Rio
Triple H doesn’t know what to do! ADR celebrates as the credits roll!
And quite frankly my dear… that’s a wrap!
