Hello gang, and welcome to My Pinterest Is Piledrivers. I’m still James A. Sawyer. And I’m still disenfranchised with sports entertainment, which is not that entertainin’.
When I saw that Dwayne “That Guy From Race To Witch Mountain” Johnson was back on TV… I thought “man I bet Rey Mundo is having a Fast 5 right now.” Here he was, finally… finally… finally back to prime time! At least until a crappy movie needs to be made. And he was here to kick ass… and to take names! CM Punk’s reign of terror, and by reign of terror I mean excellent work, would come to an end! And come to an end in a spectacular fashion with an energetic, exciting, electrifying fashion!
Unfortunately an out-of-shape 40-year-old who got winded by talking showed up. And then proceeded to get his ass kicked for 85% of the match. Listen, if workrate is measured by lying around gulping air, then The Rock is a goddam stallion. So CM Punk did all the heavy lifting and storytelling and jobbing, and The Rock got to be champion basically by hitting one move, and not even his “finisher.” 
But at least we’re gonna get some great house show attendance and brand new innovative promos, right? Oh, wait, only Jericho really gives 110% and bothers to come up with new shit. Sorry, I forget sometimes.
Look, I’m a huge Rock fan… as a high schooler. Now I can drink big boy drinks and vote. And I vote that next week you’ll let me further elaborate on why I think Austin made a wise choice in staying far, far away from any comebacks.
