My Pinterest Is Piledrivers: I Just Dropped In To See What Condition The King’s Affliction Was In (Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Damien Sandow)

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Long time no write.  Or watch.  But in what I’m choosing to look at the silver lining of, apparently my lymph nodes are the one industry in America still producing things, so I’ll soon be headed back to the ATL to recuperate and prepare for having more drugs in me than at a Hardy family reunion.  One of the plus sides of this is actually having a TV again, and actually having cable.  Dare I suggest that I could do a week of reviews?  Maybe Raw, Smackdown, and Impact?  I’d want a tag-team partner at least, and only for a week.  I’m trying to get better, not worse.

 I’m just going to give my thoughts on some of the haps in the wrestling world.  Obviously by now sports entertainment is in my blood, my geeky cancerous blood, so even when I take a break from it I keep up with everything that’s happening.  Such as…

 The Ascension of Daniel Bryan

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 Let’s start off with some good news!  Bryan is not only still over, but he’s the top face of the company now!  Even I couldn’t have pictured this when he debuted way back in 2010.  He’s risen even faster than CM Punk, and leap-frogged over a bunch of guys that have been around longer than him.  The GOAT just has “it.”  He’s cool in a new, liberal way that the WWE hasn’t yet used.  He’s the vegan, Prius driving, Whole Foods shopping, bookstore browsing wrestler.

 The Detention of Dolph Ziggler

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Hey, remember when Dolph finally cashed in his MITB contract and won the World Heavyweight Championship to an enormous pop?  And when he had an intense match with Alberto Del Rio that successfully turned him face, and Del Rio heel, in a manner not seen since Austin versus Hart at Wrestlemania 13?  Ok good, can someone show that to the WWE as they’re now putting him in more meaningless mixed tag matches and jobbing him out to Ryback?  Oh well.  It’s not like the guy has a rabid fanbase, gets good crowd reactions, can wrestle, and has an increasing amount of “mainstream” attention with his side gig stand-up and being the ex of Amy Schumer.  Hell, the guy had started law school before deciding to wrestle full-time.  At this point I could easily see him growing frustrated and quitting for Hollywood and I wouldn’t blame him.  Easily the biggest dropped ball of 2013, and I know a few things about dropping balls.

 What’s The Deal With The Wyatts

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 I can’t say too much about the ringwork although from online grumbling it’s not exactly the second coming of Steamboat.  I will say that I dig the gimmick, a lot.  I just hope they didn’t waste it on someone who’s not gonna be able to do too much with it.  The whole cult/Martha Marcy Mae Marlene/Breaking Bad hillbillies thing is kinda “in” right now, and I’m amazed that the WWE has done something actually current and relevant instead of repackaging Husky Harris as a guy that wrestles in skinny jeans and comes out to Fall Out Boy or something.

 Damian Shamwow

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 Who thought this was a good idea?  Who?  Who?

 Team White Dudes

 Watch this match.  Watch it!  (apparently WWE has scrubbed YouTube of all forms of this match without crappy nu-metal in the background or some teenage virgin giving his opinion over it)

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Antonio Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn (2-Out-3 Falls Match) by BuuPetit

Watch this improvised heel promo.  Watch it!

 Who did Antonio Cesaro piss off to not win Money In The Bank this year?  This guy could be main eventing Smackdown right friggin’ now.

Piercing The Shield

I think we can all agree that The Shield is pretty awesome, and that they’re winning an appropriate amount of matches, especially big ones, and that this is what Nexus should’ve been like, but… where do we go from here?  So they wanted justice, did they get it?  Were they hypocrites only in it for money?  Don’t they want to be in the main event, or the world titles for themselves?  The thing with introducing game-changing groups is you have to figure out where they go or else they’re just hanging around awkwardly in the back avoiding making eye contact with Teddy Long.

I think I’ll wrap up here.  My laptop is on even more borrowed time and I’m typing out whole paragraphs before seeing the words on the screen.  In the meantime, follow me on Twitter @TodaysJimSawyer, pester Blair to tweet more @BDInsidePulse, and follow those nice podcasting boys @CRAttire.  They’re all the numbnuts I think I could trick into collaborating with me on some article ideas.

Take us out, Sin Cara!

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