Forever Heel: Mordecai Madness Sale!

Before we get to Mordi, I wanted to take a minute and talk about the current heel scene in TNA and WWE.

First TNA: I usually cheer for everything in pro-wrestling or at least try to find a silver lining, but Dixie Carter is a horrible heel. This is why Miss Elizabeth never talked much when she was in the NWO, because it would sound awkward and contrived.

On the other hand, TNA has one of the best heels in the business with Bully Ray. He’s completely ungrateful to his henchmen but then acts like they’re the assholes. He did a hypocritical about-face and started kissing Dixie Carter’s ass as soon as he found out he’d be facing AJ Styles and that AJ and Dixie were having problems. He reminds me of a teenager’s dickhead stepdad.

For WWE: I hate Broody Quiet Randy and wish he’d just be a smart-ass like Batista was before he left. I think Corporation 2.0 is a fine storyline but after 18 years of evil bosses in wrestling it isn’t as fun to watch.

On a happier note, there seems to be hints of Zack Ryder turning awesome (which is turning heel). He seems to think (kayfabe) he deserves more attention due to his internet fame.

Finally let’s congratulate WWE for not making the Wyatts walk around with a pink lantern and pink sheep masks. It would be hard to explain why a redneck meth head that thinks he’s God would care about using science to cure breast cancer. What little science Bray knows probably involves Tide and Sudafed.

I’m going to follow a Halloween theme for October so we’ll be seeing some supernatural baddies in the next few weeks.

Okay. Time to grab your hymnals, fellas.

There are times in wrestling where I just have to say, “What the hell did you do that for?”, and Mordeci is one of those times. I can’t think of a good reason WWE flushed this gimmick, or Kevin Furtig (the man playing Mordeci). He wasn’t that bad of a wrestler and I can’t see how his attitude would’ve been a problem, but WWE also had guys like Randy Orton shitting in people’s gym bags and JBL going through hazing withdrawals. After all, Mordecai was supposed to be the Anti-Taker.

Mordecai was the opposite of dark dwellers like Undertaker and Kane. Where Undertaker dressed all in black, Mordeci wore all white. Kane walked through hellfire and brimstone, while Mordeci walked through a clean cleansing fire with a gleaming chrome cross (it wasn’t exactly a Christian cross). His hair and eyebrows were even blonde and his eyes were blue. Everyone could tell he was going to be going up against Undertaker and Kane, eventually.

The promos for Mordecai had him pacing around the inside of his monastery and wearing his white cloak, carrying his cross through the shadows. He was speaking of our sickened minds and souls. He spoke of a lake of fire and that the Day of Judgment that was coming. Of course, that meant he was coming to the Judgment Day PPV.

Instead of having Mordecai come out and beat the hell out of Undertaker or Kane, he had a 7 minute squash match with Scotty Too Hottie. It wasn’t a bad match and it showcased his vicious style, and his finisher was an Outsider’s Edge, called The Crucifix.

His next matches were two more squashes on Smackdown, killing Kidman and Akio in a handicapped match, and I can’t find anything about the other one. He even had a segment in his monastery, where he spoke of getting rid of Eddie Guerrero for his lying, cheating, and stealing ways. After all of that, Mordecai was quietly removed from the WWE and sent back to the minors to freshen up his wrestling skills. He’d return to WWE as a totally different character.

I’ve heard several reasons why Furtig didn’t workout, and none of them sound serious. He wrestled fine and if he was too stiff he could’ve made a nice return as Mordecai. I’ve also heard he had a horrible attitude in the locker room, but the dumbest rumor was that his religious gimmick was too hot for TV. I highly doubt that since Vince and Shane were taking on Shawn Michaels and his tag partner, God, at 2006’s Backlash PPV. This was a real money angle, right, but then again what do I know?

As I said, Furtig would return to the New ECW as vampire wannabe Kevin Thorn, or as my friends called him, “The guy Mike Knox played, where he was a vampire.” They were too stoned to keep track of everyone.

Mordecai goodness below:

Mordecai is coming.

Mordecai attacks Billy Kidman and Akio, and it turns into a handicapped match? I guess so!

Until next week, this has been Forever Heel.

Tags: , , , , , ,