THE RAGER! Citizen Kane and The Best Heel Moments Ever (CM Punk, Ted DiBiase, Big Bossman)

So do you have a sour taste in your mouth over Big Show getting being the #1 contender? You’re not the only one because I feel the exact same. Big Show may not be your top choice to be in this position (I would even say he may not be in your top 10 or 15) but who else is set up for this task right now? The only other person that could’ve been swapped into the #1 contendership might have been CM Punk but he’s being led in the same direction as Daniel Bryan. Everyone else is either not quite on that level or John Cena. And yeah, I understand the story and that this was all to come to a head at Survivor Series and we can put an end to it. Although, I won’t hold my breath that this Big Show championship will be a one-off because Big Show tends to linger like an unwanted house guest or Lyme Disease. However, perhaps Big E Langston will receive a 2012 Ryback-like rush to the top and actually stay there (because of…you know, personality) and become a new challenger. I do know that’s incredibly high wishful thinking but if we are to believe that WWE fan polls are completely trustworthy, the guy is quickly on the rise. And if WWE’s fan polls are complete crap and rigged, the maybe it’s a sign of how WWE feels about the guy right now especially considering the high percentage over a guy like Ziggler. At the very least, Big E might get a chance at Royal Rumble seeing WWE’s history of taking a chance on guys around that time that year.

I know a lot of people are bitter about Daniel Bryan taking a (hopefully brief) break from the championship scene for a program with the Wyatts. It’s not ideal but anybody that didn’t get the tiniest bit excited over the sight of he and Punk in the same ring together on Raw may need to check for a pulse. My hope for Daniel Bryan is to scrap with the Wyatts at SS, possibly in a Survivor Series match with Punk and a team, maybe have some sort of bad luck or setback. The DB goes into TLC and puts the Wyatts away with Punk and goes onto win Royal Rumble. Because lets be honest, who else is better positioned to win the Rumble? No one, really. Again, I could make a case for Big E, Ziggler or Sandow but no one near to the case I can make for Bryan.

Tyson Kidd is back! I don’t even care that it’s only done so to pimp out Total Divas as long as we see more of him on the TV. Of course, Kidd isn’t going to be thrust onto the top card off the bat and we’re really just gonna have him in a mixed tag with Natalya for a while but it’s an improvement over being in a tag with Justin Gabriel. Also, Curtis Axel is in dire need of some momentum and the only time I ever remember enjoying a match of his were against Kidd during their NXT Redemption days. I say if WWE plans on keep the IC title on Axel for much longer, have him face Kidd again and give him a shot in the arm. Or have Kidd just take the IC belt, I’d be okay with that too. At least Kidd finally has some real-people hair. Those weird front spikes still puzzle me.

And we saw the debut of Citizen Kane (Korporate Kane is also acceptable) this past Monday. I think it says a lot about his history as a character when we’re all getting excited over a non-masked Kane in a suit and tie. I initially saw his role on Monday to resemble DX’s “insurance policy” with Rick Rude, which could work. The only thing now is how crowded it’s getting with The Authority. We’ve got Trips, Steph, possibly Vince, all three members of the Shield, Randy, Citizen Kane, and Braddox and vickie’s underling status. Maybe THIS is another Survivor Series match? Perhaps Shield breaks up sometime soon as they’re rumored to and cuts Authority down to size a bit, but still. As for Kane, it’s something we’ve never seen from him and it gives him a valid excuse to have the mask off to promote See No Evil 2. I think I’m most interested by this by the prospect of when Daniel Bryan returns to fighting the Authority and facing Kane and addressing the end of Team Friendship. It’s still weird Kane all congressman-like while knowing he’s a hardcore Libertarian that’s teaming with a corporate figure that wants a controlling hand in everything. But hey, it’s professional wrestling. Who needs logic?

Finally, Joel and myself were recording a podcast (I honestly can’t remember if it was this week’s Classy Ring Attire Podcast or us recording Classy Ring Attire presents Wrestlemania 8…I guess you’ll have to listen to both to find out), and we got on the subject of how great of a heel Ted DiBiase was. This sent me going down a rabbit hole in my mind of all of my favorite heel actions throughout the year. Since we were talking about the Million Dollar Man, the first one to obviously come to mine was Ted trolling this poor kid into thinking he’s about to win $500. Of course, we could be here all day listing moment after moment where CM Punk displayed how he’s the perfect heel but my current favorite (I switch back and forth every so often) is CM Punk ruining this girl’s birthday sign. I swear I’ve watched that video 20-30 times and died laughing every time. Recently, while the lovely Pulse Wrestling commenters were submitting their reasons “why Big Show cries,” I was reminded of this gem between Show and Big Bossman.
So I pose the question to all of you: what’s your personal favorite heel moment of all time?

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Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: Lebron might be the best heel ever.

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