RAGER’S 10 Thoughts: WWE Raw 3.24.14 (Undertaker, John Cena, Batista)

…And we’re back.

1. I’m so glad we got Batista’s mic sorted out so we can hear him repeat all the things he’s been saying the past couple months. Apparently, he believes Steph enjoys getting drooled on. Is that before or after the Hemsley’s watch torture porn together? I didn’t even know drooling on people was a thing people were into. Clearly I haven’t traversed the internet enough.The part that truly saved this segment was when Steph vaporized Batista’s sunglasses with her hand. She feels very strongly about not wearing sunglasses indoors.

2. The fatal 4 way was a lot of fun to watch especially when WWE threw the crowd a bone and featured a lot of great spots with Ziggler. I’m making the assumption that Sheamus will cost Christian the IC match on Main Event that’ll lead to a WM30 match. Hopefully that ends up being the pre-show match when we’re only partially paying attention to it.

3. Sin Cara comes out with someone in a Scooby Doo mascot costume which leads me to wonder which member of the Guerrero family is in the suit. Is it possible for Hunico to be both Scooby AND Sin Cara at the same time? Did JTG somehow find a way to get TV time? Maybe we’ve already witnessed the return of CM Punk. Did WWE just confirm Half Life 3? C-O-N-spiracy

4. So I’ve enjoyed the weekly interviews between Cole and HHH. However, WWE has this tendency to take something that works and try to replicate it on Raw. This is why you see so many rematches from Smackdown the very next Monday. Hell, how else would you explain Bad News Barrett? But as enjoyable as I find this interview sessions, they translate as just another talking segment when it’s put on Raw.

5. Dear Jeebus, Goldust entertains the hell out of me. Since every other cast member of Total Divas hates Summer Rae, just give her the Jo-Jo treatment and put Goldust on the show. I’d watch the pants off that show. Or at least gives his character a reality show on the network. Its a golden opportunity. You get what I did there? Hello? Is this thing on?

6. The biggest thing I took away from the Arnold segment was Hulk Adele Dazeem-ing Joe Manganiello. Also, Miz is still alive and employed…so there’s that.

7. Speaking of Smackdown rematches, John Cena vs Luke Harper. And I could see why they would want to repeat it. I wasn’t a huge fan of the mask ending but then again, I kinda rolled my eyes at the Cena in the bathroom segment beforehand. I think it might’ve been more effective if the Wyatt’s beat up Cena and do the mask thing with the lights on.

8. The Vickie Invitational is not so much an invitational as it’s a “hey, are you a Diva and can kind of wrestle?” match. Also, this has to be a battle royal, right? Also, Vickie really should’ve just said “AJ, you’re fighting all the Divas” and end it there. It’s Wrestlemania season, time is money.

9. Cesaro really is good for Swagger because I found myself actually liking him during their match against Shield. Also, at Wrestlemania, it’ll be The Shield vs Citizen Kane and the New Age Inlaws.

10. After the druids set up the coffin at the side of the ring, I noticed Brock checking the other side of the ring in case of anyone coming out from under that side. Surprisingly smart move for Lesnar, color me impressed. Also, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Undertaker do some gimmicky things with casket, I enjoyed it.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

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