Survivor – It’s My Birthday And I’ll Cry If I Want To

Oh man. Who do I hate more: Dan, Will, or Rodney? It’s a tough competition, because they’re all awful. And each in his own special way! This season is the worst.

OK, let’s get down to business. Mike’s plan from last Tribal Council worked, because the whole tribe was in a tizzy when they got back to camp. Tyler and Will had voted for Dan, and he was NOT happy. Mike had a Hidden Immunity Idol, so everyone knew they’d have to vote out one of their own this week.

Rodney’s birthday fell on the Reward Challenge day, and as you can imagine he was pretty chill about it. I think he even forgot himself! Just another day, amiright? It’s like that quote: The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating.”

JK! Rodney has never heard that saying before. Rodney has never proven his worth, and therefore his birthday means EVERYTHING. Rodney was pretty much guaranteed a reward, since whoever won would take him….but then it was a team challenge. Hahahaha! Sorry, sucker! You’re going to have to earn this one.

Rodney hasn’t won a reward challenge yet. In fact, Rodney kind of sucks at this game, doesn’t he? He might look like a gym rat, but he has not been a threat in challenges. Sierra, Carolyn and Mike won the Reward – an opportunity to deliver supplies to kids at a local village, and to have a BBQ with them.

Rodney, of course, was devastated. Would anyone give up their spot for him? HELL NO! Rodney said “I’m not going to plead a case, but it’s my birthday and it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.” (In case you missed it, that was pleading a case.)

Yeah, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. It’s one of the most coveted and memorable rewards in the whole game. They don’t give away cars anymore, so a family visit is the only thing that trumps it. No one gave up their spot for lousy Rodney, and he’s probably still moping about it. “Not one reward,” he kept saying. Hey Rodney! Here’s an idea: WIN SOMETHING!

Rodney ranted and ranted back at camp, annoying the heck out of his teammates. Even Dan (!) thought it was overboard – though he was happy to have the focus shifted off him for awhile. Rodney came up with a plan to pretend he wanted out of the game, so that Mike would feel cocky and hang onto his Idol. It was a foolish, foolish plan. There was no way Mike would fall for it, and everyone knew it.

When everyone returned from the reward, Rodney began his performance. Though, I believe that he was pissed about not getting to go on the reward. That wasn’t acting.

“Best time of your life on MY birthday,” he complained. What a whiner! Mike said, “I see right through the plan.” Nice try, Rodney.

The Immunity Challenge was strength and endurance based, so I thought Mike might have a shot. Players had to hold themselves up by a rope, leaning diagonally towards the water. Mike hung in for a while, but it came down to Tyler and Carolyn – and Carolyn took reward. I’ve got to hand it to Carolyn, she is one tough cookie. If she can make it to the finals, I think she can win. If Mike can make it to the finals (which seems more unlikely), I think he can win. If they both make it to the finals? That could be close.

Before Tribal, the main alliance had to decide how they’d split the votes. Mike was voting Tyler, but everyone else had to decide whether Tyler or Dan posed a bigger threat. Tyler’s a bigger threat to win, but Dan has an advantage that gives him two votes.

I was surprised that Dan voted Mike, rather than voting Tyler. You’d think he’d have voted for the other guy, just in case more votes went his way. But he was safe to trust everyone – they voted out Tyler.

I felt pretty indifferently about Tyler, so I’ve got nothing to say about this. I hate half the people left in this game, and I don’t love any of them. As long as Sierra, Carolyn or Mike win, I’ll be OK.

The finale airs May 20 – there’s a good chance I’ll be out of town for work that week, which is unfortunate. (Well, not that unfortunate – I’m going somewhere warm and sunny. And this season isn’t that great anyway.) At the live finale, they’ll reveal which players will return for a second chance next season. I went to the Survivor website to vote, and thought it was pretty slim pickings. You have to vote for ten women and ten men, and I couldn’t even come up with it. I had to choose a few randomly so I could submit my choices. Here’s who I’d really like to see:

Women: Ciera, Tasha, Teresa, Kelley Wentworth, Kelly Wigglesworth (that’s a Survivor deep cut!) and Shirin.
Men: Jeremy, Stephen (love Stephen Fishbach!), Joe (OF COURSE!), Mike, Spencer  and Vytas.

Nothing reminds you how long Survivor has been on the air like seeing some of the early era cast members. It’ll be interesting to see who returns, but ooof – it was slim pickings.