Okay since last week I’ve been looking at all the big goofy hilarity in pro-wrestling, and I’m sad that some other writers, on other sites (the writers that just do lists), don’t like it. One guy was saying Kurt Angle was booked poorly in his first WWE Title run because he was booked as a “goof”. That’s bullshit, but I get what he means. We don’t see funny talent, it seems WWE is making a roster of quiet bad asses.
This same writer feels that Seth Rollins is booked “weak” also. He feels that makes matches too unrealistic. Are you shitting me? Undertaker beating CM Punk is too unrealistic, but nobody questions that shit. Didn’t Bret Hart beat Miz for the U.S. Belt? Realism doesn’t belong in wrestling. This isn’t supposed to be scripted MMA.
Anyway it’s time for me to tell the IWC about some heroes booked in a real era, the Attitude Era.
Marc Mero’s biggest feud in WWE was against his wife, Sable. He actually pinned her in a “loser leaves town” match, and she was gone from WWE.(Don’t worry she was back 2 weeks later.) Mero played a jealous chicken shit heel, that tricked his own wife into a match where she put her career on the line. The reason he was booked this way was because he’s a fuckin heel, and despicable human being. Fuck honorable matches, Sable was stealing Marc’s spotlight. He can’t get a title shot if his wife/valet is in the way. Also Mero in real life should be proud of his career, he was just playing a character. I doubt his new wife needs to worry about him getting jealous of her, and ruining her career.
In 1999, Bob Holly declared himself a “super heavyweight”. He’d bring a scale to the ring to weigh his opponents because he no longer had time for little guys. The problem was, his super heavyweight opponents were too squirrelly. Bob needed some back up, another super heavy ally. Bob Holly debuted his cousin (also a super heavyweight) Crash Holly. Together the Holly’s tore apart the WWE tag team division. They beat Mankind and The Rock for the WWE Tag Belts. If Bob would’ve heard some IWC nerd, in the audience say, “… but that’s not realistic “, or ” They buried the Rock and Mankind”, he would’ve given that nerd a deserved drop kick to the Moon. In real life Rock and Mankind were still the biggest faces in WWE. The loss of the tag belts gave Rock and Foley room to do some single feuds. In real life, nobody laughs at the Rock for losing to two midcarders because wrestling is a living cartoon show, not the UFC.
In 2001 Steve Austin needed his WWE belt back, and allied with Vince McMahon to defeat the Rock for the belt. From now on Austin would enter the arena to a chorus of “you sold out” chants. Austin didn’t care because he’s been telling everyone not to trust him since 1996. The fans booing him didn’t commit suicide over Austin’s betrayal because they knew he was playing a character. Nobody believes that Vince McMahon is the kind of boss that would allow his employees to stun him, or shoot beer all over him. Yes dipshit, in real life Austin would be fired, but this isn’t a reality show.
BTW- If someone thinks Total Divas is real, and portrays an accurate picture of real people, that person is a moron. Also if they comment on Eva Marie’s wrestling ability while she’s standing in a string bikini, that person is a eunuch, and deserves a re-castration. Don’t talk to them, just leave before they throw a goat at you.
Okay this didn’t exactly happen in the Attitude Era, but Bret Hart beat up Will Sasso. It was in WCW, and Bret did it because Sasso is a big wrestling fan, and Bret was a heel with nothing to do. Heels are allowed to bully people because they’re bad people. It was great, and later Sasso got his revenge, when he helped Roddy Piper beat Bret for the U.S. Belt. Bret’s legacy was saved, nobody remembers him for beating up a comedian. Bret’s WCW heel runs were wonderful, you could tell he didn’t care, and that made it better. He’d just say “you’re an idiot.”, a lot.
Before we go I wanted to ask your opinion. What did you guys think of Yamaguchi San? Fuck you, he was awesome. Have a good week, jerks.
Top Five Actually Botched Champ Runs
5) Jack Swagger’s WHC run
4) ADR’s first WWE Title run
3) Y2J’s Undisputed Title run
2) Edge’s first WWE Title run
1) Randy Orton’s first WHC run, and WWE/WWE WHC run
Tags: Adam Cole, Bob holly, Crash Holly, Forever Heel, IWC Nerds, Marc Mero, will sasso, Yamaguchi San