Raw intro hits and we get Orton out without any shots of the Greatest Match Ever and Orton says he tore Edge’s triceps to send him home. He says Edge has another mountain to climb as doctors reattach muscle to his bone and he hopes he climbs this mountain and maybe their paths will cross again in nine years. Christian comes out and says that Edge is coming back and will have closure on his terms. Orton says that neither Edge or Christian were able to end things on their terms – and while Christian isn’t cleared, he wants an unsanctioned match. Christian accepts before Garza flirts with Charly and Andrade wishes Garza well. Garza looks like such a star in this getup.
He faces KO and Andrade distracts him, leading to a stunner ending it for Owens. Andrade and Garza bicker and MVP tells Lashley that he’ll make sure Lashley gets rid of all of his distractions. Sarah interrupts MVP and he tells her that they’re in the middle of something and Lashley is prepping for their match with Truth and Drew. MVP and Lana bicker over Lashley and MVP calls Lana a THOT and Lashley tells her to leave and it’s time to get a divorce. Profits-Raiders recap airs and we get THE VIKING PROFITS uniting before Akira Tozawa and his ninja squad meet them and the Profits are out to dance with the crowd.
Byron dancing to Montez is just bizarre and nowhere near as great as Montez gyrating his hips perfectly in tune to the Raiders’ theme. MONTEZ IS THE BEST! They battle the ninja squad before the giant black ninja comes out and then Big Show comes out to face off with a group of ninjas. Well this was goofy. Christian is backstage in a room adorned with a WWE 2K19 Deluxe Edition poster – because even WWE doesn’t want to be associated with 2K20. Seth cuts another long, rambling boring promo about an eye for an eye before Rey hops on the wall and Seth says that Theory and Murphy are looking for Dominick now. Dom jumps him and then outruns the goons.
Truth issues his condominiums to Lashley’s marriage and says he must be jetlagged after going to claymore country. Drew says that Truth isn’t a clown and MVP manages to make the “championship opportunity” phrasing to work and now the match is for both the WWE and 24/7 Titles. Truth agrees to it before Liv and Nattie are out for a tag match against the IIconics and the fall from grace/inverted magic killer wins it quickly and they want a tag title match on Raw. Show gives Christian a pep talk and Nattie says that Liv lacks discipline and LACKS…DISCIPLINE! Lana and Nattie bond before Christian says that he isn’t a coward like Orton said, but he can’t be disrespected.
MVP talks to Crews and says that he’s about to face Shelton – a former US Champion, and he needs to avoid burning out and becoming a former US Champion. He needs the help of one of the longest-reigning US Champions of all time and threatens him. Ric and Charlotte have an awkward meeting with him stammering through his words and he wants to know who the most annoying person is to her. Crews faces Shelton and cheats to beat him by using the ropes – but he does it after Shelton used the ropes so it’s okay or something. Truth crane poses against the ninjas and Drew begs him to be serious.
Asuka says that tonight, she’ll finish what she started with Nia and Truth says he fixed it – only Drew’s title is on the line and now if Truth gets pinned, Drew loses his title. Now that’s a shame because MVP as 24/7 Champion would help that belt and make him more of a threat as a challenger to Apollo. Show does the We Want the Smoke dance. Truth and Drew beat MVP and Lashley with a rocket launcher, with Truth beating MVP. Okay, so maybe that leads to MVP vs. Truth for the 24/7 Title. Ric tells Christian that Orton is just trying to prove a point
Bayley and Sasha come out and Bayley points out that she got a birthday cake shaved into her hair with “LOOK I GOT A BIRTHDAY CAKE ON MY HEAD!” in the funniest way possible and then the IIconics brawl with them and Bayley says WHAT THE HELL YOU CAN’T RUIN MY BIRTHDAY IT’S MY DAY! Heel Karen Bayley is the best. Asuka destroys Nia with some great strikes and avoids a corner attack and hangs her up with a dropkick to the stomach for 2. Nia shoves the ref and Asuka cradles her for a fast count to win.
Christian comes out in street clothes and they hype it up as his first match in six years. Flair comes out to, of course, turn on Christian because Orton’s his boy thanks to Evolution before Orton punts Christian. They really need to change how they shoot that because now, they show him doing the thigh slap and missing the opponent by a mile. Orton tells Christian as he’s out cold that if it’s Orton or Christian, he’s picking himself to survive. Good twist in all this and I like the idea of Flair being an instigator and he looked great doing his low blow, especially given all he’s been through. When you consider that he had to relearn how to walk and talk, it’s amazing he sounds as good as he does, can still cut a great promo, and move this well in his ’70s.
Tags: garza, lashley, Raw, Rey Mysterio