The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 11.20.13
Actually up at the stroke of midnight tonight!
Taped from Orlando, FL
Your hosts are Byron Saxton, Alex Riley & William Regal
Bo Dallas RETURNS to let us know that everywhere he goes, everybody loves Bo. And he’s got a slideshow to prove it! He sports-entertained in front of a crowd of 300,000 in Cambodia! Against Justin Gabriel. (He won.) Justin’s a good kid, though. He’s in such a good mood, it’s COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! Perhaps lured out by the promise of cookies, JBL joins us to add his kudos, but Sami Zayn interrupts to resume the most awesome feud that no one is watching. He wants another shot at the title now that he’s off suspension, although JBL points out that you can’t just say “With all due respect” and then insult someone. But because he’s about what’s best for business, JBL reinstates him. Sami’s got no problem starting from the bottom again, so JBL makes a Beat the Clock challenge tonight for the #1 contendership.
Beat the Clock Challenge: Colin Cassady v. Alexander Rusev
Lana makes her official debut here as Rusev’s manager, and the Beat the Clock stips seem to play well to Rusev’s talents for destroying geeks like Colin in record time. Really, with Enzo on the shelf for the long haul, Cassady is gonna be an enhancement guy for a long while. Rusev calmly pounds away for two and puts him down with a shoulder tackle for two. Headbutt gets two. More headbutts get two. I like that he’s constantly trying for pins. Rusev goes up and misses a dive, allowing Cassday to make his Edge Jr. comeback. High knee gets two. Elbowdrop gets two. Blind charge hits the post, and Rusev sends him into another one for good measure before putting him out of his misery with the camel clutch…but Cassady makes the ropes! Rusev pounds him in the corner and throws him around for two, and another try at the Accolade finishes at 5:33. Thankfully the on-screen clock means that I don’t need to use the iPad stopwatch tonight. Nice effort from Cassady. **
Meanwhile, Adrian Neville discusses his match with Corey Graves last week.
Meanwhile, Bayley laments the loss of her robot partner Charlotte.
Beat the Clock Challenge: Tyler Breeze v. Kassius Ohno
I guess we can figure out who’s winning this one. So 5:33 is the goal. Breeze gets a cheapshot and slugs him down for two, but Ohno gets a rollup for two. Backslide gets two. Breeze puts him on the floor with an enzuigiri and uses up lots of time trying to haul him back in, which finally gets two. That was a lot of 10-counts missed there by not taking the countout win. William Regal is FLUSTERED by the whole thing. Breeze pounds away and stomps him down for two, but the leg lariat misses and Ohno gets two. Sunset flip gets two. Breeze rolls him up for two, reversed for two. They do another pinfall reversal and Ohno gets the pin with 0:45 left to set the new pace time of 4:48. Geez, jobbing to a guy who’s about to be fired, ouch. Breeze is improving rapidly and this was a lot of fun. **1/2
Hunico & Camacho v. John J. Hornigan & Chris Rothwell
Hunico literally finishes one of the jobbers at 10 seconds with a swanton. And their post-match promo indicates that they’re the next challenge for The Ascension.
Meanwhile, Kassius celebrates his win, but Lana is upset that her man is eliminated, which sets up a program we won’t get the payoff to.
Beat the Clock Challenge: Adrian Neville v. Aiden English
They are fucking insane if this is anything but a draw. Neville throws uppercuts, but English takes him down with a snapmare for two. Neville with a dropkick for two, but English gets a suplex for two. Legdrop gets two. Neville fights back with chops, but English slugs him on the mat and gets two. Neville gets the jawbreaker and Mr. Regal is getting flustered by wanting to get back into the action again. Neville goes up and English escapes and gets a neckbreaker for two. They fight to the top and Neville hits the Red Arrow for the pin at 4:45. Damn, they shouldn’t be beating English yet, let him keep squashing guys and singing for a while. Another fun, fast-paced match. **1/2
Beat the Clock Challenge: Sami Zayn v. Leo Kruger
Sami gets a pair of rollups for two, but Kruger puts him down for two. Snap suplex gets two. Sami comes out of the corner with a crossbody for two, but Kruger forearms him for two. Elbow gets two. Kruger keeps working the count, which I love to see, and goes to the cravat. Sami makes the comeback with a dropkick for two, but the running boot misses and Kruger rolls him up for two. Kruger with a spinebuster for two. Lariat gets two. Kruger gets sloppy, however, and Sami rolls him up with a crucifix for the pin at…4:45? This would seem to indicate controversy given the pin came at exactly the expiration of time, so JBL comes out and declares that we do NOT have controversy in his show, so next week it’s Sami v. Neville for the title shot to settle it. **1/4 I have no idea why no one on the RAW team ever thought of that finish to a Beat the Clock deal before, because it’s pretty great. And you’ll note that instead of belittling him and killing his momentum like some OTHER bearded indy darlings, Sami gets more and more over as a babyface the more he gets screwed over. Because, see, NXT isn’t booked by chimps.
The Pulse
This show FLEW by. I didn’t even realize it was back to an hour again, because it was fast-paced, fun, and set up a fuck-ton of new programs while advancing a couple of others in an hour. SIXTY MINUTES! RAW hasn’t even been able to announce more than 5 matches for the shitty PPV in four three-hour shows!
