We’re in Memphis, Tennessee
You’re hosts are Tazz and Cole
Randy Orton opens the show by mocking Rey Mysterio’s entrance and cutting a promo basically saying he’ll win at Wrestlemania.
Last Chance Battle Royal for qualification in Money in the Bank
Animal cuts a promo before hand saying he’s made more money than them. What he doesn’t mention is that he’s only getting a push because his semi talented brother works for the company
Eliminations are as followed
Animal by everyone
Scotty 2 Hotty by Kid Kash
Kash by Tatanka
Nunzio by Burchill
Gymini by Lashley
Simon Dean by Lashley
Funaki by Jamie Noble
Commercial
Sorry for the lack of PBP but that’s how I review battle royals
We’re back with everyone mindlessly wandering around and little happening.
Sylvain gets knocked out by London and Spanky
Orlando Jordan gets knocked out by someone
Wow lots of Cruiserweights have survived longer than I thought they would
MNM dump Noble and Spanky
London and Psicosis knock each other out
Super Crazy has his night ended by Burchill
Tatanka knocks Burchill out
Your final four are MNM, Tatanka and Lashley
MNM Snap Shot Lashley but Tatanka makes the save and does his regular comeback that was dated in 1994 and is just prehistoric now. He charges at Nitro and stupidly eliminates himself. Good riddance to bad gimmicks. MNM double team Lashley but he makes the comeback. Lashley runs into the corner but dodges another double team and shoves both MNM out for the win and the slot in MITB
They show clips of JBL getting stunned by Austin on SNME. He then has an interview where he says mean things to Kristal and that he is angry for what Benoit did at SNME. He says he’s too injured to wrestle so he’s got William Regal to do it for him.
They also show clips of the Undertaker/Mark Henry nonsense too. Henry then gets promo time. He’s going to end the streak blah blah blah. I’m sure he has a chance I mean it’s not like Undertaker has beaten useless big men at Wrestlemania before is it? Just ask King Kong Bundy or Giant Gonzalez
Rey Mysterio Vs Finlay
He loves to fight you know. Finlay shows some disrespect to Rey early on with a slap in the corner. Finlay goes to the arm but Rey goes to it himself and we have a stand off. Finlay goes to a headlock and starts working the upper body with slams and strikes. This is totally the wrong thing they could do. Rey should be getting lots of offence here. He’s going to Wrestlemania and Finlay has been out for 6 years and they have time to get him over. This should be about getting Rey over and not trying to make Finlay look strong. Actually making Rey look like he has a chance on his own merit is what they need to do. Rey finally starts a comeback and gets the 10 punch in the corner. Rey gets a head scissors and split legged moonsault for two. Mysterio goes for the 619 but Finlay bails. Rey tries to dove out but Finlay catches him in the apron and gets some cheap shots for good measure. Rey is sent hard into the ring barricade and then does some damage using the ring post. Rey gets some kicks in but misses a charge in the corner. Finlay gets a big European Upper Cut to the back of the neck and stays on it with s shoulder breaker. Finlay gets cocky and Rey starts fighting back with some desperation kicks but Finlay goes to the sit out surfboard. Rey mounts another comeback and gets a big round kick to counter a sunset flip for two. Rey gets a springboard cross body for two. Rey gets the springboard senton for two but gets caught with the Rolling Samoan Crash for two. Rey gets an enzuiguri and then a 619. Finlay goes for his stick thing and in the ensuing chaos Orton runs in with an RKO on Rey and Finlay gets the win
WINNER – FINLAY
*1/2 – Far too long for that sort of finish. So Finlay has just beaten the top baby face contender for Wrestlemania? What the hell is going on?
Teddy Long comes down to the ring for a contract signing. It’s for the Booker T Vs Boogeyman match. Booker says he doesn’t want to wrestle Boogeyman so Teddy threatens to fire him. Teddy also says he’s making the match a handicap match. Booker says he’s going to get Boogeyman at Wrestlemania and hopes his partner is ready. Everyone knows that the partner will be Sharmel and indeed Teddy confirms that. I bet that Wrestlemania will finally be Sharmel’s comeuppance for her fun heel character
More Miz promo videos
Chris Fucking Benoit Vs William Regal w/JBL and Jillian Hall
We go to a commercial during Regal’s entrance and rejoin it with some good wrestling going on. They do a test of strength which ends in a stalemate as does work over the arm. Benoit sends Regal outside but misses a baseball slide and takes a T-Bone suplex on the floor. Regal kicks Benoit’s head into the post in a sick spot and gets a suplex back inside for two. Regal drops a knee and goes to a face lock. Benoit fires back with some chops but takes a fist to the face. regal goes for a chicken wing but Benoit fights out and tries a Sharpshooter but gets kicked away. Regal goes back to the chicken wing but takes a Dragon Suplex and Benoit gets the cross face for the win.
WINNER – CHRIS FUCKING BENOIT
**1/2 – Great wrestling match with some neat stuff on both sides
They run down the Wrestlemania card
Mark Henry Vs Kurt Angle
I don’t care honestly I don’t. I love Kurt Angle but I’m so bored by this Mark Henry push that it pains me to watch these matches. Angle smartly goes to the legs but gets caught on a cross body and slammed. Henry then boringly beats him down in his slow and boring way using boring chokes and boring punches. Did I mention that Mark Henry was incredibly boring? Henry does a bear hug for what seems like hours but Angle fights out and gets a German Suplex on the big slob because he’s SUPER HUMAN! Angle does some pounding and jaws with the ref leaving himself open to be squashed in the corner. With the ref out Angle gets the ankle lock but Orton runs in again. Rey comes in to save but accidentally hits Angle and Henry gets the splash for the win
WINNER – MARK HENRY
-***** – FUCK YOU WWE. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! How f*cking dare you put Henry over Angle in any way. Post match Rey and Angle start fighting as Orton laughs from the aisle.
