The SmarK RAW Rant – November 15, 2004
– Live from Indianapolis, IN.
– Your hosts are JR & King.
– We start with La Rez in the ring, but Interim GM Maven interrupts the Canadian national anthem to announce some matches, capped off with himself against HHH for the World title. Geez, and you thought Jeff Jarrett was bad.
– RAW World tag titles: La Resistance v. Rhyno & Tajiri v. Eugene & William Regal. Rhyno starts with Conway and they fight over a hiptoss, which Rhyno wins. He pounds away in the corner and they slug it out, leading to Tajiri tagging in for the double-team. Conway tags in Eugene, who takes Tajiri down for some matwork. Tajiri reverses an airplane spin into a rolling cradle and they do the pinfall reversal sequence until Tajiri dropkicks his midsection and rolls him up for two. Eugene gets the cradle for two, and they reverse each other until it’s a stalemate. Now THAT’S a great wrestling sequence. Eugene grabs a headlock and Tajiri reverses to a bow and arrow, but we have to take a break. Back with Tajiri and Eugene still confounding each other, but Conway tags himself in, much to Eugene’s dismay. Tajiri quickly starts chopping and gets the handspring elbow and a leg lariat, but gets caught in the wrong corner and worked over. Grenier comes in and drops a leg for two. Suplex gets two. Backbreaker gets two. Rhyno comes in, however, and cleans house before hitting Grenier with a belly-to-belly, but the GOAR GOAR GOAR misses misses misses and he’s gone at 9:17. Regal comes in and cradles Grenier for two, and a northern lights suplex gets two. Eugene works the arm, but Eugene is TARDING UP. Conway trips him up, however, and puts a stop to that. I kind of like that for some reason. I mean, he WAS just standing there pointing. Grenier goes to the chinlock and Conway chokes him out in the corner, as Eugene is YOUR retard-in-peril. He comes back with Rock Bottom, however, and then leaps into the corner for the hot tag to Regal. Regal is Mr. Suplex, but gets cut off by Grenier. Heel miscommunication results in Grenier taking a flagpole to the head, but Regal doesn’t want the pin. He lets Eugene in instead, gets rid of Conway for good measure, and the Special People’s Elbow finishes for the tag titles at 13:05. It’s nice to see all of Regal’s hard work since the injury finally rewarded with something. And in a nice touch, Eugene brings some kids from ringside in to celebrate with him. **1/2
– Meanwhile, Regal and Eugene initiate the new bimbo.
– Meanwhile, HHH stops by Maven’s office to offer a deal with the devil: Membership in Evolution. Of course he takes 10 minutes to say it.
– Lita v. Molly Holly. Lita gets an armdrag to start and pounds her into a suplex, then dodges a dropkick and stomps away. Bit of a mean streak there. Corner clothesline, but Molly hotshots her on a blind charge and follows with the handspring elbow. Suplex gets two. Lita comes back with a headscissors and a monkey flip, and a Russian legsweep gets two. Lita wraps up Molly with a sleeper, and Molly taps at 2:45. Nice bit of ruthless aggression from Lita there. * Trish (wearing a face guard from last night) comes out to exact revenge (after cutting a whiny promo), but Lita hits her in the nose and walks off. Trish’s tantrum is adorable.
– Coach v. Jim Ross. Apparently this match was just a silly understanding from Maven, as “JR” was referring to “RKO” (apparently the J is silent and I was just spelling it wrong all this time). Well, that’s a bit of a stretch.
– Coach v. Randy Orton. Orton crotches him on the top rope to start and gives him a melodramatic thumb to the eye, then finishes with the JRKO at 1:22. Yeah, whatever. DUD
– Meanwhile, Edge and Christian, teaming tonight for the first time in forever, have trouble getting along. So I guess they’re no longer brothers in WWE canon.
– Meanwhile, Randy Orton counsels Maven on the evils of Evolution.
– Edge & Christian v. Chris Benoit & Shelton Benjamin. Christian attacks Benoit to start, and gets kneed in the gut for his troubles. Benoit starts chopping and sends Christian into the corner, and it’s Benjamin in. He faceplants Christian for two. Edge comes in and gets a suplex for two. There’s some serious color clashing going on in there tonight — Edge with purple tights, Christian with teal, Benoit with ugly yellow, and Benjamin in blue. Stacy and Clinton would be shocked and appalled. E & C work Benjamin over in the corner and Christian chokes away, but Benjamin lands on his feet off a monkeyflip and powerslams Christian for two. Back to Edge for more abuse, but Benoit comes in and Edge goes out. Edge and Christian stop to argue, so the faces baseball slide them and we take a break. Back with Edge working an armbreaker on Benjamin, who reverses out, only to get clotheslined down again by Edge for two. E & C get the double hiptoss for two. You know, Edge and Christian could totally reunite and be the main event heel faction with Batista there to eat pins in six-man matches, since Evolution is basically just HHH & Batista anyway. It would at least be something different. Christian gets a single-arm DDT for two. Christian misses the blind charge and Benjamin comes back with the dragon whip kick on Edge, and it’s hot tag Benoit. He’s the proverbial house afire as he pounds on Edge with malice, and suplexes Christian with slightly less malice. Tomko gets a cheapshot on the apron, but gets in the way of Edge’s spear, and it’s more suplexes, this time for Edge. Benjamin hits Christian with the Blinger splash and the exploder, which leads into the diving headbutt from Benoit and the crossface to finish things at 12:46. I wanted to see the dream match of Benoit & Jericho v. Edge & Christian, but this was pretty okay, too. **1/2 Edge snaps and turns on Christian afterwards, just to shatter the dream a bit more.
– Meanwhile, Flair lends Maven some bimbos.
– Lingerie pillow fight: Stacy v. Christy. It’s the devastating pillow shots as they slug it out, but Christy falls on top for the pin at 0:55. So glad they fired Gail Kim and Nidia for this.
– Meanwhile, Batista and HHH have a conversation on live TV that basically reveals that HHH is only gonna set up Maven up if he joins. Good thing wrestlers don’t watch TV.
– Back with more mind-numbingly dull Simon Dean stuff. He annoys another plant, and this time Rosey interrupts. And as usual, he screws up, splashing the “fan” by accident and getting protein powder in the face for his troubles. Whoopie.
– Meanwhile, Benoit puts Maven in his place. You tell him, Chris.
– Meanwhile, Mohammad Hassan wants to lead a revolt against America. You tell him, Mohammad.
– RAW World title: HHH v. Maven. Maven starts by turning down HHH’s offer, and then Benoit & Jericho head down to back him up. HHH grabs a headlock to start, but Maven dropkicks him out and goes up. Batista shoves him down, however, and gets tossed by the ref as a result. Flair goes too. Maven slugs away, but walks into the high knee. MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER gets two. He goes to the abdominal stretch, but Benoit takes HHH out and sends him into the stairs. Maven comes back with some minor offense, but eats another knee, so Benoit trips HHH up again. Maven goes up with a sloppy bulldog for two. HHH tries the Pedigree, but Benoit distracts the ref and Jericho bulldogs HHH and hits him with the Lionsault. Maven pounds away, but this time HHH gets the Pedigree for real”¦and Jericho puts Maven’s foot on the ropes. That’s enough to get Jericho tossed. But that allows Benoit to hit HHH with a german suplex and a diving headbutt behind the ref’s back. Maven gets two. Edge, however, punks out Benoit from behind and charges in, but spears the ref and it’s a big brawl. Batista returns to help, and HHH grabs the belt, but Orton steals it away and KOs him. JR seems to think it’s over, but it’s only two. And then Snitsky appears and finishes things, booting Maven into a Pedigree that finishes at 12:15. Overbooked mess that disguised Maven’s total lack of believability at this level pretty well, I guess. *1/2
The Inside Pulse:
I didn’t buy Maven’s challenge to HHH for a second, but then I’m a cynical bastard that way. I was having fun with the opener, but then the show kind of settled into the usual rut and ended with HHH persevering against all odds again.
Jericho as GM should be pretty fun, though.
