Welcome back to ringside everyone
First off as you can tell I have taken out the little logo/banner because I didn’t like it, it’s that simple. That’s really all I have for the opening comments so lets go straight to the…
4/8 Impact! Recap
If you read last weeks column than you know that the normal format is out and that the link/detailed format is in. So click here for my Impact! Report or click here for Hollyric’s Impact! Report. You can’t go wrong with either.
So this past week on Impact! Dusty made some big announcement that every match at Lockdown will be in the 6 Sides Of Steel. Ok so first because the name of the PPV is called “Lockdown” they were going to have 2 Cage Matches. Now, because the name of the PPV is called “Lockdown” every match will be inside a cage. So how come this didn’t happen at the previous PPVs? Let’s examine the previous PPVs and the gimmicks they could placed on every match:
*Victory Road: Every match should have taken place on the road that leads to Victory Lane at a NASCAR Race Track
*Turning Point: At least one person per match should have turned one way or another
*Final Resolution: Everyone before their match should have given their New Years Resolution and the loser of the match should have died making their New Years Resolution, their Final Resolution
*Against All Odds: Every match should have been a handicap match. That way one wrestler was actually battling, Against All Odds
*Destination X: Every match should have been an Ultimate X match, even stupid matches like Trytan vs Brown.
If your going to theme one PPV, why not theme them all? I’ll tell you why, because It’s stupid. Why stop with every match-taking place in the 6 Sides of Steel? Have the announcers trapped in a mini cage. Every seat should have a mini cage. Hell, put a big ass cage around the whole arena, then everyone will truly be Locked Down. What the hell is TNA thinking putting every match inside a steel cage? The 6 Sides Of Steel is a unique cage match because well…it’s 6 sided. A 6 Sided Cage Match should only be used to end a huge feud. What was the most recent 6 Sided Cage Match? America’s Most Wanted vs Triple X, two teams that have feuded since really the start of TNA. What was the stipulation in that match? Losing team must break up. Those right there are huge stakes. Those stakes warrant a unique match. Lance Hoyt vs Apolo doesn’t warrant a unique match, it hardly warrants a match at all. Nonetheless I have a column to write so let’s take a look at how the 6 Sides Of Steel affect the current matches at Lockdown? Let’s take a look
*Jeff Jarrett/The Outlaw/Monty Brown vs Kevin Nash/Diamond Dallas Page/Sean Waltman: Nothing really changes in this match except now it’s a Battle Bowl or a Lethal Lottery or something like that. Last time I saw the Lethal Lottery was some WCW PPV where teams where drawn at random and the winning team were entered into a battle royal. What are they going to do for this match? Randomize the teams thus ruining the build up? Oh better yet, take everyone’s ticket, put it in a fish bowl, and have the 6 wrestlers in the ring use the fish bowl and the last ticket to fall out will get a refund for having to watch this horrible match. Does that sound stupid? Yes, but it also sounds like something TNA would come up with. Yes, I know it’s a war games style match, I told the world (or at least everyone that read previous columns) that it would be a War Games style match because 6 workers in the ring at once would be a car wreck. I could book TNA with my eyes closed…and probably do a better job.
*AJ Styles vs Abyss: Again, nothing changes here. No new stipulations or anything added here. It’s still the winner of the match faces the champ (Jeff Jarrett) at the May PPV. It should still be a very good match because AJ Styles always puts on a very good match. So again, nothing changes and I have nothing more to say about this match except the build up is pretty bad.
*Jeff Hardy vs Raven: Ok so first off it’s a table match which had to be done because Jeff Hardy can’t do a straight up PPV Match. Now thanks to TNAs brilliant idea of making every match a cage match, it’s a Tables match…inside a cage. What the hell? Are they trying to kid us with this booking? In a tables match there are supposed to be no restrictions. Now these two guys will have to be in a cage which means the only place to go is inside the ring and then the table comes into play which takes up even more space. I didn’t think there could be a bigger train wreck than the 6 Man Main Event, oh but this match sure gives them a run for their money. We all know the finish will be something like Hardy climbs the cage, takes off his shirt, and hits the Swanton through the table. Knowing Hardy, he will screw up and slip because he’s not as cool as Elix Skipper.
*Elix Skipper vs Christopher Daniels: I have no problem with this being inside the cage because I though it should have been inside the cage all along. These two have a real tough act to follow though. How can Elix follow up his awesome tight rope walking hurricanrana? You know what would be an awesome spot? Daniels hitting the Best Moonsault Ever off the top of the cage. He can still do his run up the turnbuckles then instead of hitting the BME, he can just climb to the top of the cage. Unless of course he can jump from the top rope to the top of the cage and keep his balance then hit the BME. I sure as hell wouldn’t be surprised if they somehow turned this into a Ultimate X match by having the ropes go across the cage. I said in a previous column I wouldn’t be surprised to see it and now I really won’t considering they’ve turned this whole PPV into a gimmick. It would of course be an over the top match but at this point, TNA is an over the top company.
*America’s Most Wanted vs Team Canada: Team Canada will most likely consist of Petey Williams and Eric Young because Roode is in a match with Dustin and Devine is hurt. They could of course throw the new guy in the match and leave Petey off the show for now but come on, We Want Williams. AMW put on a hell of a show with Triple X in the first cage match so they too have a tough act to follow. AMW vs Canada at Final Resolution was the best tag match between two legit teams I’ve seen all year. I think this match could be very good, but I could really, really, live without the cage.
*Dustin Rhodes vs Bobby Roode: Ok it’s bad enough that this match is taking place. It’s even worse that this is a “Prince Of Darkness” match. What the hell is a Prince Of Darkness match? Is Ozzy Ousbourne going to be the special ref? Is Black Sabbath music going to be playing throughout the match? Is Prince going to play live in the dark? What a stupid match name. I know it’s a blindfold match for you all that thought I didn’t. So I re-tract my previous comment on Hardy vs Raven saying that it could be the biggest train wreck of the night. No, this match right here will be the biggest train wreck of the night. Dustin Rhodes can’t wrestle in the first place, now he gets to wrestle blindly. Then you throw them in a cage which means they can’t fall out of the ring and possibly get counted out. This match will no doubt be a candidate for Worst Match of The Year.
*Kid Kash vs Shocker vs Michael Shane vs Chris Sabin: To win this match the guy must climb the cage to win. Now is that final? Because those where the rules to the Barbed Wire Match at WWEs No Way Out and Big Show went out the door and JBL went under the ring. So the winner of this match better climb over the cage and win. This match should be very good considering the talent in it. All are very proven in the ring and adding the cage element can help because of the big move possibility. Not much to say on this match really because besides Shane vs Sabin this past week on Imapct! There has been no build up what so ever. I’m surprised it’s Shocker and not Siaki in this match given what we have seen between Kash and Siaki in the past few weeks.
*Apolo vs Lance Hoyt: This match won’t be anything special. I’m expecting a lot of cage ramming in this one and of course the power moves. Should open the show, unless TNA wants a opener to get the crowd into it.
So for Lockdown TNA has issued a TV-14 warning. So all you kids out there ask your parents before ordering this show. The only reason they would issue this warning is 1. They want to scare off viewers. 2. They wanted some publicity. Or 3. Blood and lots of it will be shed. I’m going to guess numbers 2 and 3.
Now onto the releases by the WWE. We start with Molly Holly. I really can’t see her ending up in TNA. TNA has made no effort to build a women’s wrestling division. The two TNA Divas right now are Tracy and Trinity both of which are acting like little kids in order to sleep with the fat man. Molly may fight in as a manager but I just can’t see them wasting her wrestling talents. Next, Rhino. Yes the Y has been dropped and replaced with an I. Sounds like an English lesson eh? I can see Rhino is TNA. With the proper build up a match against Monty Brown would be very nice. No it won’t be a wrestling classic but it will be a nice brawl and come on it’s THE POOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUNCE vs THE GORE! GORE! GORE! Finally, Matt Hardy. Matt will most likely end up in TNA in 90 days. Yes he can’t compete for another company for 90 days so don’t expect Matt helping Jeff at Lockdown. Jeff will no doubt talk Matt into coming to TNA. If and I should say when Matt joins TNA expect and Hardyz vs AMW feud quickly. TNA would be stupid not to put that feud together. They can make it a ladder match inside a steel cage on top of the arena. Sound like a TNA gimmick match? I think so. For more on the releases and how the affect another company. Check out ROH Moments Ago by Big Andy Mac.
Ah since I’m a TNA guy I might as well have a gimmick in my column so I call my gimmick…The Contest. So this weeks The Contest is as followed:
*Come up with the craziest but most believable gimmick macth TNA could put on. Meaning no “Chainsaw Match where the only way to win is to cut off your opponents arms and legs”
*Come up with a new name for The Contest
Normally there will be only one gimmick question but there’s two this week. The winner of each contest will receive Pulse Points (if that’s still going on) and if it’s not going on I’ll gladly give you something within reason, like a plug or something you can come up with…again, within reason.
Ok, that’s all for this week everyone. Drop me a line at AMPLine4Life@aol.com that’s also the place to answer The Contest questions and join me next time At Ringside.
