One piece of mail quickly:
“Hello. i love your recaps. they’re very detailed
i need your help regarding this episode. you know the lawnboy? do you know his name, as in real life name? i think he’s hot and i want to get his pic”
The lawnboy’s real name is Jesse Metcalfe; plug that into a Google Search and you’ll probably get all the pictures you need.
Previously, on Desperate Housewives: Bree confessed to Andrew about indirectly murdering George, Mike founds out about Susan giving money to Zach to go to Utah, Andrew is very open about his gay friend with Bree, Paul doesn’t want Mike anywhere near Zach, and a strange man finally catches up with Caleb, the Applewhite’s prisoner.
It’s a party, as Dead Woman Narrating determines different kinds of kisses, leading us to a group of people led by Tom and Gabrielle talking about their high school past, leading to Tom talking about not having his first kiss until the age of 18, as Gabrielle makes up for it by giving him a big smooch right in front of Lynette.
You’re watching Desperate Housewives, and I’m not sure who’s more desperate, the housewives, or me to get rid of Desperate Housewives.
After the party, cleanup is going on, as Lynette tries to talk to Gabrielle about the kiss, eventually getting her to agree to not doing that to Tom again. Conversation changes to the Applewhites for a moment, as the rest of the Housewives gather and Gabrielle changes the subject, explaining that maybe she was trying to liven up the party, but Lynette was just saying that she would rather her not kiss Tom. They both admit to not being worked up about it, and the subject changes once again.
Outisde of the party, Susan gets a glance of Zach, and then runs over to Mike’s house to inform him of this. Mike’s known about this and building up a relationship slowly with Zach, but Paul is in the way, and Paul’s threatening to go to the police, which is no good for Mike.
Paul talks to Zach about a school assignment for home schooling, but Zach couldn’t care less. Paul makes sure to mention that this is for Zach’s own good, if only for a moment. Zach begins to talk about the chain of Mike Delfino, Mrs. Huber, and Ms. Tillman, and how this all links back to Paul. Paul wonders if Zach really thinks he’s capable of murder, but Zach wasn’t sure if his mom was capable of suicide either.
Andrew has a gay kiss as Bree watches on, breaking a glass. Andrew comes in the door and Bree beckons him over. Bree lays down the law, making sure that under this roof, Andrew doesn’t do anything gay.
Caleb wants to be back with his family, but Betty makes it clear that that isn’t happening until the law is off their back.
The asthmatic badass is performing a stakeout on the Applewhite’s house while listening to Rhinestone Cowboy, but Edie manages to get him out of the neighborhood when the man’s cover is that he’s doing a property appraisal.
Zach promises not to bother the Mayers, but asks Susan not to tell Paul about it. Susan and Julie discuss this, and they both seem to be a little forgiving of them. Susan wonders if Zach shouldn’t spend some time with a decent role model.
Lynette meets Bree on the street in their cars, as Lynette thanks Bree for backing her up on the kiss thing. Lynette thinks that Gabrielle was just being Gabby, but Bree mentions that she had an affair with the gardener, something that Lynette had no knowledge of. Bree advises Lynette not to act like she knows. While talking about all of this, Ida Greenberg goes around.
Susan and Julie get Mike to go bowling with Zach, despite Paul being out of the loop about it. Mike agrees to do it after hearing that Zach has seemed to change.
Looks like there was a little bit of gay loving after all in Bree’s house, and Bree threatens to call the police but Andrew throws in the blackmail about George and Bree is stunned. Looks like Justin is going to be sticking around.
Tom gets help from Gabby bringing in the groceries, but Penny gets sick on Gabrielle, and Lynette overhears Gabby on the phone and rushes home. Lynette pretends that there’s nothing wrong, but Gabrielle can see right through that. This is news to Tom. Lynette brings up the affair, and Gabrielle sees herself to the door.
Carlos is golfing, as Gabrielle discusses who could’ve blabbed about the affair, and then allows Carlos to have an affair to even the score, as long as he doesn’t bring back any diseases.
Lynette’s in bed as she admits to overreacting about the whole kiss thing, but doesn’t think that Gabrielle should think that she is doing nothing wrong. Lynette’s instinct was to protect Tom. And Tom mentions Bree checking him out during picking up the paper. That convinces Lynette to talk to Gabby.
The Applewhites leave their residence, giving the Asthmatic Badass his opportunity to sneak in. He gets the lock open on the back door, and begins to scour the house in regards to the whereabouts of Caleb. Finally, he finds the basement door, and cuts the lock on it. Caleb, who is the same man with a different actor, is scared at first, but now he’s free of his shackles, but Caleb doesn’t want to go so the man knocks Caleb out with a right hand, handcuffing him and pointing a gun at him to make him go, but then he comes down the stairs and it breaks, KILLING him! Caleb gets up to the dining room and enjoys some ice cream with his bad acting, as Betty opens the door to find the man dead in the stairs.
Bree arrives at Karl’s place, hiring him as a lawyer to stop Andrew from blackmailing her.
Betty looks at Monroe’s information, and then his cell phone rings from a man called Foster. Betty wants the body gone by nightfall. Lynette arrives in Gabby’s kitchen, and apologizes for being a complete idiot. Lynette leaves but not before explaining that Gabrielle is 1% wrong for the harmless kiss, but Gabby doesn’t seem that way, so Lynette proves it with Carlos. And Carlos seems to get the point.
Zach arrives for bowling with Mike and the guys, and Zach wonders why those two are so nice to him, and then Zach thanks him for giving a second chance. Mike and Zach seem to be bonding nicely, and Zach’s even smiling.
The Applewhites get rid of the body, but the keys are locked in the trunk with the body. Betty actually has to laugh at that.
Andrew is playing games, but Bree’s lawyer Karl would like to have a little chat, which turns into Andrew getting told by Karl to wise up and show his mother some respect for the sake of Rex.
Carlos thanks Lynette for working things out with Gabby, and then brings up Gabby’s idea of having an affair of his own, that it just might help the marriage. Lynette doesn’t have any thoughts on the subject, but Carlos does mention the hell of a kiss.
Zach is sleeping, as Paul arrives to find the bowling scorecard in the trash. Nice. Paul charges out of his house, making a beeline for Mike and punching him, telling him again to stay away. Paul is tackled by Mike, and Susan sees this, almost runs into a car, swerves to avoid the car and hits the Applewhite’s car, knocking the trunk open to reveal Monroe. The Applewhites are shocked, as are everyone else.
Susan tells everything she knows, but Edie thinks it’s the Applewhites, and Susan confirms this with the noises, as Betty’s worried now that the Housewives might be on their case.
Zach’s playing guitar on the front porch as Julie arrives home from a night out with friends. Zach goes back inside, but Julie gives her a kiss first. We see more kisses in the closing montage, ending with Paul glaring at Julie and Zach in the afterglow of their kiss.
