InsidePulse’s TNA iMPACT! Recap

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Welcome to InsidePulse’s Live TNA Impact Coverage. I’m your host Jeremy Lambert. Ummmm, for some reason Impact seems a bit late tonight as it’s 11:01 according to my clock and UFC is still on. Weird. Anyway, Against All Odds is tomorrow so rent the PPV. New stuff in italics.

Hey look, it’s 11:05 and now the show decides to start.

We begin with a recap of last week.

Impact opening video plays.

Austin Aries & Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt:
*Aries is still sporting the Rob Conway look
*I was watching a shoot interview with Raven and Sandman, and Raven puts Sonjay Dutt over huge. Just thought I would throw that out there.
*Sabin snaps off a hurricanrana on Strong
*Sabin and Dutt hit some cool double team shit on Aries

Commercials

*Sprinkler by Dutt on Aries. For some reason, I f*ckin love that move
*Strong with a side suplex on Sabin
*Double springboard dropkick by Dutt
*Spinning DDT by Dutt on Strong
*Double tree of woe dropkick by Sabin
*Strong hits a side supplex backbreaker on Sabin
*Hart attack by GeNext
*Zybsko (on commentary) threatens to fire West. YOU CAN DO IT!
*Cradle Shock on Aries

Winners – Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt

West and Tenay schill Against All Odds.

A video package of Christian Mo Fuckin Cage plays. And yes Neeley, I’m marking out like a little bitch. Christian just says how much he owns everyone else in TNA, especially Jeff Jarrett.

Commercials

Terry Taylor is backstage with Cassidy Raven. Jackie Gayda interupts and I mute the TV. A few words on Cassidy Riley: He’s a very good man for auctioning signed stuff off on EBay. I almost bought some stuff but there’s nothing autographed by Christian, Styles, Joe, and Daniels. I just need those four on one thing and count me in for a bid. Oh, Jackie leaves and Alex Shelley enters. Shelley says he’s got footage of Gayda. Shelley is da man.

Diamonds In The Rough vs. Team 3-D:
*Not quite jobbers for Team 3-D but close enough. The question is, do I do actual commentary on this match? Hell no.
*DITR get the early advantage
*Team 3-D comes back of course
*Team 3-D goes for the 3D but Simon pulls Skipper out of the ring

The match just like…stops. AMW comes out and says how much they were gonna beat down Team 3D but the fans saved them. Holy shit, Devon gets on the mic. Oh wait, it his black history month. Brother Ray claims that AMW drinks non alcoholic beer. Team Canada attacks from behind but quickly get tossed out. Devon gets a table. More Canadians come out to attack Team 3D. Young hits Devon in the head with the Tag Team of the Year plaque. WTF is up with TNA using those f*cking plaques? Brother Ray gets put through the table. Team Canada sings the Canadian National Anthem.

Commercials

Samoa Joe vs. Jay Lethal vs. Jason Raz:
*Yeah, this won’t last long which kind of sucks considering Lethal and Joe have had some good ROH matches and Lethal is way over with the TNA crowd.
*Jay and Jason get an early advantage but Joe just destroys them both
*Muscle Buster and choke out on Jason

Winner – Samoa Joe

Yeah, I promise you that Joe/Daniels/Styles will be better than that squash match

Video package of the Jarrett/Christian feud

Commercials

Abyss & Monty Brown vs. Rhino & Ron Killings:
*How the hell did this match happen? Killings and Brown have had like no face time in the past few weeks. Are they going to fight at AAO tomorrow night? Why do the black people have to fight each other? I guess to make sure a black man wins. Killings has a new theme and it goes like this “WAS UP WAS UP WAS UP WAS UP” that’s all I could understand anyway. Holy hell, Rhino is f*ckin over.
*Rhino tosses Monty over the top rope
*Killings hits a springboard dropkick on Abyss
*Killings hits a flip dive to the outside on Abyss and Monty

Commercials

*Crotch headbutt by Killings on Abyss
*Killings is actually very good in the ring with all that dancing shit gone
*Belly to belly suplex by Brown on Killings
*Abyss crotches Killings on the top rope
*Killings makes the hot tag to Rhino
*Spinebuster by Rhino on Brown
*Abyss and Rhino trade punches
*Abyss and Rhino spill to the outside
*Complete shot by Killings on Brown
*Abyss and Rhino battle in the crowd
*Konnan comes down and does nothing
*Pounce by Brown on Killings

Winners – Abyss & Monty Brown

Konnan talks to Killings after the match

Christian is backstage on a cell phone. Christian says that the outside interference is under control.

A video package plays just hightling all the matches at Against All Odds

End Show