In memorium: Maureen Stapleton – One of the only actors to have achieved the “acting triple crown” (a Tony an Oscar and an Emmy), something not even HHH has done. As noted in any obituary you can Google, a longtime smoker, she died Monday of chronic pulmonary disease at the age of 80. (Hey, it was either her or Milosevic, but seriously: f*ck Milosevic.)
Eric’s off getting a haircut and a real job, so you’re stuck with us. Pay attention as we switch off. We can be tricky like that.
Hi, I’m Gloomchen. And I’m definitely on top… not in the middle. Whether or not you’ve read me before, I have a little column over in the Music section of the site. But this is not about me.
No, wait a minute: Eric’s column starts with stuff about him, so why should I deviate? I know you’re all keeping up on his travels regarding MEAT. I, for one, have a bizarre obsession with the meat packing industry as a whole. It all started when I worked in the Workers’ Compensation department of an insurance company, and guess what types of factories we covered? You name the injury, I saw photos of it. Arms pulled into machines, legs caught in grinders while cleaning. Lots of fingers amputated. Good stuff.
But much like our dear Eric, I’m also on the job hunt. I’m aiming to get back in the insurance game, but who knows? Maybe I’ll go play with meat.
DIRTY THOUGHTS! BUSTED!
For now, I’m just getting buried in snow. Minneapolis is under a snow emergency, so I’m actually glad that I don’t have a job interview. So long as the roads are clear so that I can get to the Dream Theater show on Friday night, it can snow ten feet for all I care.
Anyway, I have no cable or else this would make for one hell of a fun Raw recap. Instead, that’s all up to Matthew Michaels.
Before we begin, however, it’s time for tradition…
THE PIMP SECTION
Lucard is buried in snow too! No HBK adventures for us in the Pikamobile, I’m afraid.
Mike Eagle talks about boobs and butts.
Robert Sutton tells us all about Chuck Norris. He left out the part about how his tears cure cancer, but it’s worthless because Chuck Norris doesn’t cry.
Danny Wallace delves into the upcoming Wrestlemania.
Murray, Zarur and Hatton’s friends cover RAW.
And Matt Basilo watches television so that I don’t have to.
I WILL NOT MAKE A JEWISH JOKE
According to WWE.com, our lovely cruiserweight champion, Gregory Helms, totally smashed the hell out of his nose during a six-man tag match. This ranks not too distantly behind Sid Vicious snapping his leg in half for one of the most train-wrecky things I’ve seen in the wonderful world of wrestling injuries. Check this out!
That, my friends, is so friggin’ cool. His nose looks like it’s dispensing baby wipes. That’s what happens when your septum gets messed with, never mind carrying on the entirety of a match with the injury. And on top of that, a match the next day. Admirable dedication for continuing, yet medically a stupid idea. Guess this earns him points for being a company man, but that’s not going to help his face.
With the wrestling world as screwed up as it is, you can pretty much guarantee that backstage, the viewpoints are going to make no sense to the rest of the universe. Someone will inevitably call him a pussy if he takes time off to heal a broken nose, because dammit, your nose doesn’t ruin your ability to grapple. He’ll likely be strongly encouraged to come back before he’s ready. If he’s been properly brainwashed, he’ll be begging to come back far before he’s healed.
Too bad wrestlers can’t get workers’ comp. There’s good money to be had when it comes to permanent impairment. Depending on your state’s laws, of course.
IN THE WORLD OF GOLF
Someone’s hitting some balls somewhere. Sometimes the balls go into a hole. Sometimes they land in sand or water, and that’s not a good thing. Is Tiger Woods still around? Are they doing that green jacket thing yet? Do you win a free game if you make a hole-in-one on the 18th?
Couldn’t have an Eric S. column without golf. I tried.
NO MORE FAKE HOGAN TEDDY BEARS
Networkworld.com has an intriguing article regarding how different companies are defeating counterfeit e-merchandise. Who should appear but our lovely WWE!
World Wrestling Entertainment has been using software from MarkMonitor for two years to help find knockoffs, after fans tipped off the company to the rash of unauthorized merchandise being sold on the Web.
“A lot of our fans started reporting infringements online to us,” Papachristos recalls. The reports prompted WWE to dig deeper. “When we looked, we just saw an unbelievable amount of stuff on the Internet,” she says.
WWE first deployed MarkMonitor’s brand-protection software to find inappropriate uses of its corporate name, brands and logos. The company recently added the vendor’s new Auction Monitoring module, which creates a daily snapshot of suspicious auctions and resellers so Papachristos doesn’t have to manually scour the sites. She then decides whether to send a cease and desist letter, report the offense to the auction site, or request a suspension of the seller. “It saves me so much time,” Papachristos says.
This is definitely everywhere. I have two DVDs in my livingroom that I purchased a few years ago that prove it — I mean, what motion picture company misspells words on the front cover? Thanks, eBay! And also while hunting for music memorabilia, I’ve seen numerous companies reproducing classic t-shirts in absolutely horrid quality. You get what you pay for.
You would think in this day and age that consumers would have heard enough about scams and tricks that they would maybe be just a wee bit skeptical when they see a $50 item on eBay being offered Buy It Now for $20. The saying, “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” vanishes into thin air once people hit the Internet and want to open their pocketbooks. They don’t want to open them too much, after all. But just like moms who buy the white-label peanut butter because it’s a buck cheaper than Skippy, they’re only going to get the amount of quality equivalent to the amount of money spent. Yet still, people are surprised and aghast to find that their items aren’t authentic.
Even still, this hurts the companies producing the original merchandise. See also: the RIAA and MPAA. Now, in my eyes, it’s one thing to download a copy of a film or album; nobody profited from that transaction, and you generally accept that you’re not going to get the quality and product you would find in a store. People who sell counterfeit merchandise — assuming that the consumer doesn’t know the items are fake — deserve to get stomped. If anyone is going to profit, it should be the person holding the rights to that product.
So as long as they’re not patrolling torrent sites for shows and pay-per-views, I guess we can pat these guys on the back, no?
BACK TO THIS “MEAT” THING
From Yahoo:
A cow in Alabama has tested positive for mad cow disease, the Agriculture Department said Monday, confirming the third U.S. case of the brain-wasting ailment. The cow did not enter the food supply for people or animals, officials said. The animal, unable to walk, was killed by a local veterinarian and buried on the farm.
“We remain very confident in the safety of U.S. beef,” said the department’s chief veterinarian, John Clifford.
The news came as the Bush administration worked to reassure Japan and other foreign customers of American beef. Japan halted U.S. beef shipments in January after finding veal cuts with backbone — cuts that are eaten in the U.S. but not in Asia.
Japan was the top customer of American beef until the first U.S. case of mad cow disease prompted a ban it had only recently lifted.
“We would not anticipate that this would impact our ongoing negotiations,” Clifford said. “Our product is safe. We’ve got a number of interlocking safeguards. And Japan themselves have had 20-plus cases of BSE.”
Mad cow disease is the common name for bovine spongiform encephalopathy, or BSE.
The first U.S. case of mad cow disease appeared in December 2003 and involved a Canadian-born cow in Washington state. The disease was found again last June in a cow that was born and raised in Texas.
Eric has previously covered Mad Cow and what it really means to the industry and consumer. All I can say is, let’s not run for the bomb shelter. Your hamburgers will be okay — well, as okay as hamburgers can be. Atkins people can breathe easy. Are there still people who do the Atkins thing?
I hate press scares. They’re everywhere and they convince the masses that they’re educated when really all they know is hype. I’ve seen people throwing away their Tupperware because the little number on the bottom on the recycling label was supposedly evil. I’ve listened to people who swear they were poisoned by NutraSweet (Note from Matthew: Summer, it’s true; I hear it can even turn your hair red!). And let’s not even get into identity theft.
I’m far too skilled at wandering off-topic.
Back to meat.
YOU WORK HARD, YOU DESERVE IT
The time has come again. Another year, another Steak & BJ Day. The last time I checked, the link was down due to bandwidth crazines, so I’ll catch you up if you missed it. Girls get February 14th for flowers, chocolate, and romance. Girls like those sorts of things. So it’s only fair that guys get March 14th for steak and a BJ.
I find it amusing when guys bring this up and then sit back, waiting for a feminist reaction. Why should there be one? Sure, Valentine’s Day isn’t meant specifically for chicks, but that’s how it always ends up. At any rate, if relationship-bound guys out there aren’t receiving at least one yearly BJ, they’re definitely with the wrong gal.
So, enjoy! In the meantime, I’ll be getting my chops up to snuff on some bomb pops. Kinda like Rocky, but not.
And with that… how about a Raw recap — Matthew: feeling masochistic?
DAN’S A MORON
– Raw recap? Oh f*ck no. Matthew Michaels can hop on in a bit with his recap of Raw. For now, you got Dan Hevia and I do, indeed, still write for InsidePulse. That’s right I do, Stefan Martinez…f*ck it let me show people your email to me, thus we begin a YAM session:
Dan: I know that writing for IP can be a DIFFICULT DIFFICULT THING. Evry week cranking out some column for people to read and everything. B/c I’m sure youre SO BUSY with evryday things that writing something once takes up your entire day. If you don’t wanna do it, just f*cking let somebody else take over don’t “recycle” or “shotgun’, it’s not like you were ever any good anyways. – Stefan Martinez
Ok moosef*cker, let me be perfectly blunt. My life away from IP has been so hectic I didn’t even have time to visit your mom last night and give her her weekly Angry Unicorn. That’s real busy because I enjoy giving your mom the Angry Unicorn, I really do. But I’m getting a new job, trying to plan, like, the REST of my life and things of that nature. So I try to write something every week. Sometimes, when I get out of work at 5 on Monday and go do the next thing at 6, I just don’t have that hour to write a column. So I throw something up for people to read. It’s better than nothing. As for bowing out and letting someone else take the reigns, HA! Fuck you snowman, I wouldn’t give up this gig for anything. I may not be as popular as Eric or Meltzer or Scherer or Hyatte, but I dig this shit. Every now and then I get dumb f*cking emails like yours but they normally don’t faze me. So…blow me biznatch.
MORE MAIL!
Dan, have you seen Ashley Missaro’s MySpace? She seems really cool and up front with her fans. Just wanted to see what you think. – Jin Wan
Why are sending me this email? Am I your shrink? I didn’t even write anything about this so you sought me out for my opinion on Ashley Missaro’s MySpace? Here’s my opinion: The girl is a moron, writes too many blogs because she’s sitting waiting for Matt Hardy to come sweep her off her feet and probably spit some marbles out and say “I ruv you by god will not die!” I’m more depressed that the Trish imposter ended her charade. That was fun. So in the end, f*ck Ashley, f*ck Helms and all his bulletins and his broken nose and don’t email me asking about MySpace.
AND ANOTHER ONE!
You know you’re the worst writer on IP. Wrestlemania 21 was A YEAR AGO dick why did you just report it now…are you so f*cking out of date from the world you dushbag? Widro should be ashame d to have you. – Jordan Lent
Are you f*cking retarded? No seriously, are you f*cking retarded? I wrote IN MY COLUMN that I was posting shit from last year you f*cking idiot. And it’s DOUCHEBAG, not dushbag. Dushbag is what I throw over your moms head before I give her the sloppy donkey. Suck it bitch.
DESTINATION: THUNDER
Now, since we’ve gotten that out of the way, how is everyone? Some TNA-related wrestling news before I hand it off to Double M. (No, we won’t have a recap/review of Sunday’s TNA PPV. We’ll leave that to the experts, like Pandich and Mr. Anderson (who was one of the only ppl in the IWC to relay 1BULLSHIT’s news item about Goldberg being in negotiations with TNA before Ryder took it down).) Now then…
– Scott Steiner debuted last night at Destination X. He took out Steve “Sting” Borden. This “changes the face of TNA”, like everything at every TNA show does. Tenay needs to get fired. As for Steiner, how long before we see him do this:
I love when columns write themselves.
– Lex Luger, who was NOT at Destination X despite Ken Anderson’s hopes to the contrary, did an interview and for your viewing pleasure I’ll paste the recap and talk about it in bold:
Lex begins the interview by joking around with the hosts about going to jail recently. He didn’t get to use his cell while he was there and says the “one phone call” idea isn’t actually true. He was on his way to do a pay per view for AWE in Winnipeg. However, when going through customs, they checked his criminal record as they had done with previous wrestlers that had gone through before Lex. He was on probation, of course, in Cobb County, GA, so they called them to make sure everything was cool. According to Lex, he had been trying to get a hold of his new probation officer weeks prior to leaving, but was unable to do so. Rather than walking in and making sure he got clearance, he assumed it would be okay to work the event, especially since his parole officer encourages him to work and make a living. Needless to say, he didn’t have a permission to leave the country and Canada couldn’t let him into the country.
Yea, he had been trying to get into contact with his parole officer my ass. He was trying to get in touch with his pharmacist. Additionally, EVERY HUMAN BEING THAT HAS EVER BEEN ON PAROLE KNOWS YOU CAN’T LEAVE THE COUNTRY. What does he think he’s f*cking Martha Stewart?
Lex said that after Cobb County activated a warrant on Lex for violating his parole, two armed Canadian immigration guards walked him back through US customs, waited with him, and then escorted him back to the plane that would take him back to Atlanta through Minneapolis. His plan was to go back to Atlanta, turn himself in, bail out of jail and then work everything out with his probation officer and be done with it. Unfortunately, when he arrived in Minneapolis, they had gotten wind about his warrant and took matters into their own hands. As soon as he landed, eight armed customs agents boarded the plan and escorted him off. They cuffed him, ankles and hands, and then hog-tied him before carrying him to a van and throwing him in there. They then took Lex to the county jail that was ironically next to the Target Center where he had wrestled all those years.
So Scott Keith and another canuck are armed walking Luger back into the US. This could actually get funny. I’m sure it also isn’t the first time he’s been hog-tied. I would assume he enjoys that sort of thing almost as much as he enjoyed killing Elizabeth.
Lex then waited two weeks in Minneapolis before they finally let him go back to Atlanta. Once he got there, the local media had made it out like Lex was trying to flee the country. The judge and his probation officer thought that if they let him off easy without jail time, they’d be catering to a celebrity. Instead, they gave him nine weeks with good time. He’s been around nearly a month now, already working out, and claims to be back on track.
If I were a wrestling fan, and right now I really hate anything other than behind the scenes shit, I would assume that Luger was fleeing the country. I mean, c’mon, it’s Larry “Lex Luger” Pfohl! I was on the Intrepid! The guy should’ve jumped off and drowned then. Think about it this way. If Yokozuna, bless his fat soul, had thrown this shmuck over board and cannonballed onto him, killing him dead, Elizabeth would be alive. Randy Savage would’ve never rapped and Eddie Guerrero would be alive. It’s true. If you don’t believe the Eddie thing just go through the history books. That one f*cking slam on the Intrpid altered the course of history.
Chris asked about his plans now that he’s out and whether he wants to get back into wrestling. Lex said he would work out regardless, but he does have some appearances scheduled already and he is planning on working some. Jail definitely took its toll on his body, so he expects it to take a couple of months for him to get back into top shape. Lex said that people expect you to look a certain way after watching you on TV for some many years and he doesn’t want to show up out of shape. He’s not sure if he has any future in the ring, but it’s a feeling out process when it comes to the major companies that are out there. He did say that he had talked to Sting recently, but talked about personal stuff and nothing wrestling-related. No one from TNA office has called Lex either and he said he has no idea whether they’re interested or would be interested in his return. However, he does think it would be foolish for companies to not at least consider the fact that he’s Lex Luger
Jail took its toll on his body…jail took its toll on his body…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. That’s what happens when you cycle off the roids. It’s not jail you dumb bastard. Oh also, Larry, you have no future in the ring. Unless TNA is really retarded, and by the Steiner signing I’d say they have half of a helmet on running into the wall, you will never get work outside the indies. Come to think of it, I have to email FLEA my new Dead Pool because this f*cker has to kick it soon. Also, a belated congratulations to IPs own Michaelangelo McCullar for calling Johnny Grunges death. Good job big boy!
Nick added the question of whether these personal issues that Lex has dealt with in the past have interfered in his ability to be a reliable worker. Lex said that after Elizabeth’s death, he had a couple of years where he wasn’t reliable due to drugs and drinking, but that’s not apart of his life anymore. He doesn’t think he was employable during those times. He is 100 percent clean right now due to a very rigorous testing program he’s on through his probation.
Oh yeah, Liz’s death brought on crazy drug use. He never…EVER…had a problem before that. Scumf*ck. 100 percent clean like Barry f*cking Bonds.
As far as WWE’s new Wellness Program, Lex has heard of it and said that it can only be a positive think and he hopes that they’re serious about it. Lex has actually had the thoughts that he could possibly help them in this area because he’s learned how to take the natural supplements that aren’t quite as good as steroids, but still make the boys look the way they want to look. His body could be an example of what you’re able to look like when you are 47 years old, not to mention his past experiences could be examples of why you don’t need to use drugs and why you need to take care of your body
If WWE were to bring in Lex Luger for supplement advice, they BETTER give me a writing job.
– Last but not least, Samoa Joe went blind last night. See what happens when you f*ck with the Samoan Mafia? The man known as JOE will be dead like Kirby Puckett in two years. Trust me.
AND NOW someone who’s going blind for completely different reasons dies a slow painful death for YOUR benefit:
THE SHORT FORM
Yep, Matthew Michaels here. The things I do for you.
Match Results:
Trish Stratus over Victoria (w/Candice), Women’s Title Match (Pin, Ten Buck Tramp-Factor): An angle advancement match, but what angle is it advancing exactly? Well, that’s easy enough. If Mickie came out during the match, it would be one thing, but this was actually even more of a sin, at least according to Hevia dogma: using Trish and Victoria, your two best in-ring “divas,” to advance an angle that will likely lead to a tag-team catfight at Mania. My prediction for that one is of course Eric’s Beautiful and Beloved and Torrie vs. Victoria and Candice, with Trish going up against Mickie for the title.
Edge over Goldust (Pin, Spear): I disagree with Eric on the importance of the squash match. In fact, I’d rather see Goldust add a bit of credibility (former Intercontinental and Tag Champion, recognizable veteran) to a quick match than enhancement talent the likes of Bobby and Billy Babbaganoosh or a match between two mid-carders that doesn’t end cleanly due to WWE not wanting to ‘hurt’ either guy. Plus, he didn’t look that bad, and lost in part due to Lita’s interference. Either way, Dust’s a part-time wrestler, and even though his dad has some stroke backstage, he’s been willing to work for his money through this gimmick, a bad back, etc., so no harm, no foul.
Ken Doane, Johnny Jeter, Nick Nemeth and Mike Mondo (w/Nick Mitchell) over Shawn Michaels, Born-Again Christian Cage Match, Texas Tornado Rules (Doane pins Michaels, cage door to the face by Shane O’ Mac): Why must they tease us so? Kudos to Shane for choosing to be there for wife Marissa as she gives birth around Wrestlemania-time, instead of facing HBK, but anyone who says they’d rather see Vince — no matter how well-booked his last Mania match was — in one of the top three matches at the biggest show of the year lying to you. And even though Joey Styles had to sell never seeing the Van Terminator in person, I mark out a little bit each time I see Shane do the “coast to coast.” And we were all wondering why Shane was asking them to bring the cage up during the après.
Daniels feels this was booked all wrong if they ever want the Spirit Squad to go anywhere (and to that I say, no, they don’t; the Spirit Squad is a JOKE — and WWE feels, in my opinion rightfully so, that any of the five can be separated from the gimmick down the road without long-time negative ramifications):
I like wrestling… I do. I try to suspend disbelief. But Shawn Michaels taking on five guys and beating them? What did this accomplish? Shawn single handedly beat four guys so much he may as well stacked them up and pinned them.
He also sent me a comment about midgets that, with the recent release of the Smackdown Juniors Division, I felt too inappropriate to print.
Shelton Benjamin over RVD, Intercontinental Title Match (Pin, rollup while holding ropes/homage to Flair at ringside): Mamma being out getting heart surgery (if this is true, hopefully she’ll recover and be back soon) showed how little Benjamin has improved on the mic over the past year or so. Memo to Shelton: I’m sure you get mic time at house shows: use it. Cut promos in the shower. Take the advice Raven gave Meltz on his radio show this weekend, and practice, practice, practice, ’cause as good as you are in the ring — and as much love as the smart marks send your way — you can’t get over on skills alone. And the fans WANT you to get over. So get with it. And Mamma — get well soon.
Big Show, Kane and Cena over Carlito, Masters and HHH (DQ, double-chairshots by the chickenshit #1 tag-title contenders): Okay, seriously, where the heck did Colon, Show and Cena get the new additions to their movesets? Being in the ring with the boss’ son-in-law will do that to you, I guess. (Although I’m convinced Carlito using a modified Stroke as a transitional move and Cena adding the belly-to-belly suplex are just being done to f*ck with Misters Jarrett and Steiner, respectively.) And you know what? Less punches by Cena, and the crowd – gasp – cheered him. This may very well end up being a decent Mania main event. Go figure.
Angle Developments:
What A Pisser: If you didn’t see this coming the moment The Bitch From The Baskervilles slipped the alexis into HBK’s water, you must be new to this little thing we like to call professional wrestling. Still, any time WWE’s writing team can inspire Haley to instant message me a Little Thingâ¾Ã‚¢, it’s worth it (for the record, I deleted the IM, but John was pretty tickled about Vince tasting the liquid that had been dumped on him to double-check that it was, indeed, urine).
Channeling The Polish American Cynic In Me: I don’t have nearly as much animosity for ‘Wife-Beater’ as does Eric, but I’m sure he’s hoping that Vince exercises the Wellness Program fine print that bans drinking before or during showtime and cans Mr. Austin, new music and all, right in the middle of the ring at Saturday Night’s Main Event during his advertised drinking contest. Of course, him not being a full-time wrestler may make him exempt, so maybe it’s best that the rule get ignored this time. I have a feeling a certain Mr. High-Quality Speaker Boy would agree to that…
Rated O For Overbooked?: No, not at all. The TNA Destination X pre-PPV video was fantastic. Yet they still aren’t anywhere near WWE with production values on a week-in, week-out basis. Hopefully the coming attractions will become a staple of all Edge feuds in the immediate future.
Mickie, You Devil: Anyone else think Mickie’s gonna be revealed to be the new member of Vince’s Devils, now that Torrie’s been banished (and beat)? Oh, and I found Trish’s line to Maria hilarious for some reason (“Sorry to interrupt your workout … in the middle of the hallway.”)
Back To The Video Tape: The Hall of Fame reveals have been pretty good this year, from the “hell freezes over” surprises (Bret) to the expected (Eddy) to the pleasant surprises (Gene, Sherri and now Verne Gagne), and the video packages that have accompanied them definitely have done each future Hall of Famer justice. I didn’t grow up on the AWA, and only know the revisionist history found within the IWC, through the eyes of WWE and on Dale Gagne’s AWAstars.com site. So it was nice to get a quick primer on Verne, and also great to see Vince recognize a “non-WWF” guy in the Hall. Hopefully that opens things up to some other greats down the road.
Contractions: That was a fun contract signing, and I’m becoming a fan of HHH’s quasi-shoot interviews (“now’s where I’d normally flip over the table, get a sledgehammer, and hit you with it” or whatever he said was exactly what every fan was thinking), and hoping that they’ve realized the only way to get the ‘smart’ fans to cheer for Cena is to hit them over the head with the realization that IF CENA DOESN’T WIN, THAT MEANS WE GET ANOTHER HHH RUN WITH THE BELT. That being said, Eric’s Potential Future Boss was good but has to smirk less, and it was an interesting twist having the tag champs and #1 contenders come out. HHH wouldn’t want to sledge Cena anyway, since he’s his tag partner in Saturday’s handicapped match (a point driven home by the surprising Randy Orton run-in).
IP reader Dwayne (no relation to Randy) disagrees with me on the contract signing, as can be seen from the following IMs:
Dwayne2cool19: Now Matt, I want you to be honest and tell the truth
Dwayne2cool19: Are you excited about this contract signing taking place tonight?
Dwayne2cool19: Coach is conducting the contract signing
Dwayne2cool19: OH GREAT
Dwayne2cool19: That makes me even less excited than I was going into the shit
Dwayne2cool19: :-[
Dwayne2cool19: Oh, listen to this Matt, even more burying by HHH
Dwayne2cool19: The contract signing and facing Cena at WM is just a formality
Dwayne2cool19: Listen to this Matt
Dwayne2cool19: and people wonder why WM is gonna suck this year
Dwayne2cool19: How the hell are you suppose to combat those comments if you’re Cena now?
Dwayne2cool19: He’s already told us over a million times how he’s not a great wrestler and how he’s just trying to be himself
Dwayne2cool19: what’s he gonna do? Make some more gay jokes?
Dwayne2cool19: Solution to everything ]
Dwayne2cool19: TEASE A FIGHT
Dwayne2cool19: EMERGENCY SIX MAN TAG OR MAIN EVENT TAG
Dwayne2cool19: Yes, that’s the traditional Raw way of doing things
Dwayne2cool19: Lets not actually be creative for once
Dwayne2cool19: lets stick to tradition
Broke-Back In The Saddle: What was with all the cowboy references last night? I knew the USA Network/Nashville Star crossover was going to happen, and “Cowboy Carl” as Edge called him (awesome reference) was pretty good at the announce table, but enough with the overly obvious JR references already. At least we got somewhat of a kayfabed explanation for JR’s return at SNME (this is perfectly in line with the whole “Vince is completely insane, and using his power to screw with everyone” storyline, but in JR’s case, what power does Vince have over him? I’m looking forward to a twist being written into the show here). Plus, it gives SNME* another “special” moment, and let’s face it, the ratings of this show will be analyzed CLOSELY come next Monday morning. So where’s the announcement that a certain dancing reality show star will be there?
*Here’s the current line-up by the way:
– Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon – Streetfight, JR as announcer
– Kurt Angle, Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio vs. John Cena and HHH – SD needs three people to beat RAW match
– Trish Stratus and MickieLexis LaJames vs. Mrs. Hevia and Candice Michelle – Where the heck is Stacy match
– The Cutting Edge w/special guest Mick Foley
– Boogeyman vs. Booker T – Where’s Book’s voodoo lady when you need her match
– JBL vs. Steve Austin – Beer-drinking contest
Inside Pulse music columnist Shawn M. Smith chimes in: I won’t lie, I am getting excited for WrestleMania. This RAW, with the Orton run-in, continues some storylines going into Saturday Night’s Main Event, and I am really looking forward to it. Wrestling has been off of broadcast television for over a decade, so it’s going to be a great show, and hopefully it will draw in some casual fans.
And with that, I say: if you find a casual wrestling fan, let me know. Last I heard, they were all watching American Idol now.
Thanks for joining us. Eric should be back either for this weekend’s Short Form or at the very latest, on next Tuesday in this slot, so try to hang on until then.
