Directed by:
Dave Borthwick
Jean Duval
Frank Passingham
Written by: (according to IMDB)
Paul Bassett screenplay
Martine Danot characters
Serge Danot characters, creator, screenplay
Cory Edwards
Todd Edwards
Butch Hartman screenplay adaptation
Tony Leech
Tad Safran screenplay
Raolf Sanoussi screenplay
Stephane Sanoussi screenplay
Cast:
Daniel Tay ………. Doogal (voice)
Jimmy Fallon ………. Dylan (voice)
Jon Stewart ………. Zeebad (voice)
Whoopi Goldberg ………. Ermintrude (voice)
William H. Macy ………. Brian (voice)
Chevy Chase ………. Train (voice)
Judi Dench ………. Narrator (voice)
Kylie Minogue ………. Florence (voice)
Ian McKellen ………. Zebedee (voice)
Kevin Smith ………. Moose (voice)
Bill Hader ………. Soldier Sam (voice)
Rated G
Release date: May 16, 2006
There are about ten production companies credited on this thing. I’m not listing them all
The Movie
My daughter is 3. I spend a lot of time watching kid movies, cartoons, pbskids and the like. Let me just tell you that Doogal is the movie for you, provided that you are 3 years old and seek to end all happiness.
Doogal, the film, tells the story of Doogal, the dog, a cowardly and manipulative narcissist whose crippling addiction to candy may cause the next ice age. He looks to be some sort of Puli or Komondor treated with some hair relaxer and wearing a Tina Turner wig. Doogal’s candy-addled antics end up freeing an evil bed-spring bottomed sorcerer named Zeebad from tens of thousands of years of solitary confinement. Although to be fair, Zeebad’s prison was merely an unlocked door in a merry-go-round. Anyways, the evil wizard Zeebad is bent on freezing the world with his wicked cryogenic mustache (and that shirt that Denise made for Theo Huxtable), and it is up to Doogal to stop him by finding three hidden diamonds or chaos emeralds or some such nonsense. Helping Doogal thwart the naughty spring is Zebedee (the good bedspring wizard with a flammable mustache), Ermintrude (a bovine that sings opera and soul music poorly), the freakishly large snail who is in love with the cow, a rabbit who thinks that he is Keanu Reeves, a flatulent moose who was turned blue by Zeebad, and a sentient train.
The people who made this film should give classes down at the local Discovery Center on “How to Cause ML Kennedy Enormous Amounts of Pain.” The movie is deep hurting brought to life. Let’s have a couple of notes on Doogal and how it brings me everlasting anguish and despair.
1. While Judi Dench is a lovely person and a wonderful actress, there is no need for a narrator in this story. She rarely has anything to say, and it is never anything particularly important.
2. Why doesn’t the movie need a narrator? Well about half of the dialogue is of a declarative nature. That is to say, “We need to find those diamonds.” “Over there.” “It’s a LASER security system. We need to get past it!”
3. The other half of the dialogue you ask? References. Tired, played references. Numerous and embarrassing references to LOTR and The Matrix. References to MC Hammer and “Soul Train.” Inane uses of terms like “bling bling” and references to “Pimp my Ride.” Perplexing references to The Shining, Pulp Fiction, Dawn of the Dead, Austin Powers, etc. Mind bogglingly grating and irritating references.
4. And who is delivering these horrible lines? Well, it is Satan’s dream team of the mostly talentless Whoopi Goldberg, Chevy “I was funny 20 years ago” Chase, and Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon, let me break things down for you. Girls told you that you were funny because you are good-looking. You are not funny, nor clever, nor witty. You need to be stopped. You are the poor man’s version of the poor man’s version of the poor man’s version of Jim Carrey. What’s worse is that in this movie Jimmy Fallon is acting as Keanu Reeves as a anthropomorphic lagomorph.
5. The movie also treats us to casting for Irony’s Sake. “Who is better for voice-over work than Silent Bob? Ooh, and let’s give one of the non-singing roles to Kylie Minogue!” (I don’t really care about her singing. I’m just disappointed that I have to deal with Kylie without any footage filmed of her bottom.)
6. Let’s not bother to sync up anything. Three of the principle characters in this film have large mustaches. The moose never moves his mouth. The Train has no mouth (yet must scream?). These things should save you some trouble in looping. But you guys still have to match up the lips and actions of the other characters with their respective vocal tracks. Sister Street Fighter had more convincing dubbing.
(I might say, this point is where things become unclear to me. It seem that there is some old European kiddie show that was made into a movie, released last year as The Magic Roundabout. Roundabout seems to have a French version and a British version. Now from the looks of things, it looks like the Weinsteins got the rights to this film, paid off some Nickolodean cartoon guys to re-do some of the British dialogue with American actors. Ian McKellen, and Kylie were kept, but most of the other vocal tracks were replaced.
From the way the final version of the film turned out, it was like no one had bothered to give a script to the American actors who were re-doing the voices. So they just said what was happening and occasionally made lame jokes.
I don’t know for certain whether this story is correct or not. Imdb has little info on Doogal, and my perverse fascination with wretched movies has its limits.)
7. The movie is all talky-talky. There is precious little action. There are few sight gags, takes, or visual jokes of any kind. I don’t know how this movie is any more exciting to children than staring at a ceiling fan.
8. The plot would be thin for a NES game.
9. Each character looks like he or she belongs in a different movie than the next.
10. An innapropriate soundtrack.
I need to stop now, as this thing could last all day.
STORY: 2/10
ACTING: 2/10
ORIGINALITY: 4/10
LOOK/FEEL: 4/10
ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: 1/10
TOTAL POINTS: 13/50
FINAL SCORE: 2.5
THE DVD
Tech Stuff The colors are really crisp and nice. The sound is clear enough, but the score feels muted. You got English and Spanish subtitles. Doogal also gives you the option of full vs. wide screen, though only the full-screen side is clearly marked. Had I not looked at the box, I would not have known that the wid-screen version was on the other side of the disc.
Packaging: It has the cardboard slip cover and the clamshell box with the those two superfluous buckles. The inside contains no chapter list, just a $3 rebate if you also buy Hoodwinked.
Extras: We get an autoplay trailer for Hoodwinked. The Special Features contain a trailer for Doogal, which oddly enough, have a different voice for Doogal.
We also have a short “Making of” special which mostly contains clips that one has already seen if one has watched the credits to the movie itself. The “Making Of” is mostly actors talking about nothing, with the technical aspects of CGI discussed at length by…. Silent Bob. Yes, Kevin Smith is afforded the time to say what unsung heroes the Background artists are while the background artists are pushed into the background.
DVD SCORE: 4
