That Looks So Fake – Two Sixteen Year Olds and a Trashcan

I’m fuming mad today. I’ve moved to a new house, and of course the cable company hasn’t yet turned on my damn cable. I’ve gotta wait until Thursday. Let me re-iterate that to you in a different way: I HAVE TO MISS THE RE-DEBUT OF ECW ON CABLE TV. I can’t even tape the damn thing. Let’s just say that I’m less than pleased.


I’ve got a divot in my forehead at my hairline above my left eye. It’s not too deep, but if you run your finger across my forehead it’s certainly there. I never did find out what kind of damage it actually is, but there’s no denying it’s there.

I was 16; my friends and I had gotten into doing some backyard wrestling. Nothing too dangerous, but Jared and I were determined to figure out a few spots to throw in using a crappy aluminum garbage can. No big deal. I had been hit before with the trashcan and knew to offer the hardest part of my head at it upon impact.

Two attempts, two trash can shots without any pain on my part.

Then, as stupid teenagers do, we went a little further.

“Let’s try to throw it.”

Neither of us remembers who said it, but we remember it being said. And since I was the daredevil amongst the two of us (and he loved working his aggressions out from being a fat teenager whose one constant love interest wouldn’t date him out on me) I was of course the one who took the hit.

We went through the usual routine and it was time for the garbage can. Looking back it wasn’t the brightest idea but I still would have done it.

The metallic can flew through the air towards me, perhaps at most 8 feet. As it got a little closer, a small wave of panic set it. Kind of like if you were getting into a car accident, but didn’t have enough time to fully react.

BAM. I went down like the proverbial sack of shit.

Before Jared was able ask me if I was dead I mumbled, “I’m not saying that didn’t just hurt, but I’m alright.”

Funny, it always looks like it doesn’t hurt that much on TV.

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