The Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA Monsters Ball — Saturday, June 10, 2006
– This is a “companion piece” to Hardcore War, which was TNA’s Northeast US debut the previous night in Philadelphia; both DVDs are available from Highspots and feature fantastic video and audio quality. If this show interests you, you can order it here and for $10 more, you can get the aforementioned Hardcore War show along with it. I don’t regret the purchase at all, as both shows have some good matches we haven’t seen on TV and the action isn’t held back just because they’re house shows, unlike some companies. It’s also cool to see the six-sided ring in a different, more organic environment.
– Jeremy Borash welcomes Wayne, New Jersey, to TNA and points out that they brought the SpikeTV cameras, although I don’t believe anything from this event was ever shown on TV. Maybe because the building does look pretty “indie”, but no worse than the early ROH shows. It also looks like it’s the middle of the afternoon with all the outside light. The camera pans the crowd, which is full of kids as well as older people.
– Petey Williams vs. Shark Boy
I don’t know if it’s because it’s the opening match of the first-ever TNA house show in NJ, but Petey gets a loudly positive reaction when he comes out (without Coach D’Amore) just like he did at Hardcore War the previous night. Dueling chants as the commentators (Jeff Harris and the “Clay Aiken” dude) note that both guys won their matches last night and Petey slaps Sharky, but the masked man responds with a dropkick, an armdrag, and another dropkick. Sharky tosses Petey over the top rope and follows out with a slingshot plancha to remain in control inside the ring until Petey drops Sharky in an inverted atomic drop and goes for the “O Canada”, but Sharky counters with the vigorous rimjob and Petey falls out to the apron. Sharky slingshots over him to the floor for a sunset-flip powerbomb, but Petey counters with a legdrop on the apron which earns him a two-count back inside. Petey controls Sharky and goes to the top turnbuckle, but Sharky catches him up there and brings him down with a superhuracanrana. Sharky makes his comeback and Petey sets up the Canadian Destroyer, but Sharky back-bodydrops out of it and rolls up Williams for two. Petey locks on the Sharpshooter, but Sharky grabs the rope to break it and goes for the Dead Sea Drop. However, Petey blocks it and drills Sharky with the Canadian Destroyer for the un-deux-trois.
– Homicide vs. Jerry Lynn
Oh f*ck yeah. Jerry is greeted with a “New Fuckin’ Show” chant as they struggle through a few lock-ups before Homicide fires off a spinning back-elbow for a one-count. Lynn responds with a spinning back-elbow of his own, an armdrag, and a dropkick as Homicide bails out and Jerry chases him around ringside. Homicide slides in first and stomps Lynn when he rolls in, but misses an Eddie-style slingshot senton and Lynn guillotines him with a legdrop across the middle rope as they go to the floor. Lynn back-bodydrops Homicide over the guardrail into the crowd and does a nice running dive over the railing onto the Notorious 187. Back inside, Homicide appears to f*ck up a hotshot and ends up dumping Lynn over the top rope, earning a two-count after a neckbreaker when Jerry comes back in. Overhead belly-to-belly off the ropes gets two and Homicide goes for a Vader Bomb, but Lynn gets the knees up and lands a twisting crossbody for two. Homicide regains control with a jawbreaker and snaps off two of the Three Amigos, but Lynn counters the third one with a small package for two and Homicide levels him with a Hart Attack clothesline for two. Homicide dumps Lynn to the floor and follows out with the insane somersault dive through the ropes as we get a “TNA” chant. Back inside, Homicide scores a two-count, but Jerry slips out of a bodyslam and plants 187 with an inverted DDT.
Both men stagger to their feet and Lynn unloads on Homicide before drop-toeholding him face-first on the middle turnbuckle and teasing a Bronco Buster, but opts for a springboard falling headbutt to the groin instead. Lynn drills Homicide with an Air Raid Crash for a close near-fall as the crowd chants “Homicide” and the Notorious One drops Jerry with a sweet Cutter. Sickle-style lariat to the back of the neck gets two for Homicide, but Lynn catches him off the ropes in a fireman’s cutter for a near-fall and sets up for the Cradle Piledriver. Homicide pushes him back into the corner and hooks up the Gringo/Cop Killa, but Lynn escapes and schoolboys Homicide. When he kicks out, Lynn crushes Homicide with the Cradle Piledriver for the three-count. Good match, as expected.
– Jeremy Borash claims that they are going to shoot a “talkshow of sorts” for Impact and introduces the host, Simon Diamond, who walks out in his wrestling gear. Imagine David Letterman hosting The Late Show in a bathrobe and underwear; actually, on second thought, don’t imagine that. The crowd chants “ECW” as Simon Has A Problem and explains that he should have left ECW for WCW when he had the chance, which turns the crowd against him immediately. Diamond calls his new talkshow “Simon Says” and earns a “Shut the f*ck up” chant, but says he can make more noise than the fans because he has the microphone. Good point. Diamond introduces his guest, Jeff Jarrett, and the fans greet him with a “Fuck You Jarrett” chant as Jarrett insults every NY/NJ sports team he can think of before issuing a challenge to anybody in Wayne, NJ, so he can show what he’s going to do next week at Slammiversary when he regains his NWA World Title. Sadly, he was right. Lots of fans volunteer, but Jeff and Simon claim that nobody is accepting and Simon calls Borash into the ring to declare Jeff the King Of The Mountain. Instead, JB introduces Jarrett’s opponent: New Jersey’s own Jay Lethal, who comes out with a mic of his own to a “Lethal Weapon” chant.
Lethal puts over his homestate for a cheap pop, but Jarrett recalls that he beat Jay in two minutes on Impact and mentions that whenever Jay wrestles in the area, he brings his parents to the show. Sure enough, we see Mr. & Mrs. Lethal in the back row (he can’t get his parents better seats than THAT?) and Momma is a very animated character. This lady needs to be on TV. Seriously. Have Alex Shelley go and videotape his parents to build up a Lethal/Shelley feud or something, this lady is a natural. Anyway, Jarrett rags on the Lethal Family and Jay challenges JJ to put his “King Of The Mountain” moniker on the line. Suddenly, we have a referee and the bell rings with Diamond still in the ring.
– Jeff Jarrett vs. Jay Lethal
Lethal immediately rolls up Jarrett for a two-count, sunset-flips him for another two, and backslides him for yet another two as the crowd chants “Fuck him up, Lethal, f*ck him up”. Jarrett bails out and regroups with Simon Diamond in the aisle, then comes back in and outwrestles Lethal before doing his Famous Strut as we actually get dueling chants. Jarrett back-bodydrops Lethal and struts again, but Lethal strikes with a pair of flying forearms and a springboard dropkick to knock Jarrett through the ropes. Lethal does a great JJ Strut to taunt Jarrett, but the former NWA Champion trips him from ringside and elbowsmashes him across the apron. Back inside, Jarrett completes Part 1 of the Ray Traylor Tribute Show, but Lethal blocks the sliding punch from the floor and punches back. Sliding dropkick from Lethal sets up a dive through the ropes as Lethal floors Jarrett and lands on his feet. They go back in and Lethal lands a flying bodypress off the top turnbuckle for a two-count, followed by the hiptoss/cartwheel-dropkick combo although Jarrett forgets to sit up for the dropkick. Lethal goes to the top, but Diamond provides a distraction on the apron while Jarrett shoves Lethal down to the floor. Jarrett batters Lethal around ringside as Momma Lethal has made her way to the guardrail to yell at the heels and cheer on her son. Jarrett distracts referee Earl Hebner while Diamond stomps Lethal on the floor and Jarrett brings him back in for some more punishment.
Jarrett taunts Mrs. Lethal as he whips Jay from corner to corner and clamps on a sleeperhold. Lethal fights out and applies a sleeper of his own, but Jarrett breaks it with a back suplex and they both struggle to their feet. Lethal blocks some punches and connects with a pair of heelkicks before planting Jarrett with a tornado DDT for a near-fall and going to the top turnbuckle. Diamond hops up on the apron to interfere, but Lethal fights him off and lands the swandive headbutt on Jarrett for another near-fall. Diamond holds Lethal from the apron as Jarrett charges, but Jay moves and Jeff knocks Simon to the floor as Lethal rolls him up for two. At ringside, Momma has somehow made it over the railing and is wielding Jarrett’s guitar as she chases Simon up the aisle. Meanwhile, Lethal prepares to Stroke Jarrett, but Jarrett blocks it and tosses Lethal over the top rope. However, Lethal lands on the apron and comes back with a beautiful springboard DDT for a sure pinfall, but Gail Kim appears out of nowhere and puts Jeff’s foot over the rope. “She’s A Crack Whore” chants as Lethal hooks Jarrett in a full nelson for the dragon suplex, but Gail gets on the apron and holds hands with Jeff to block it. While the ref is busy with Gail, Jarrett mulekicks Jay in the little Lethals and Strokes him for the 1-2-3. I’ve read that Jarrett really likes Lethal ever since that match on Impact back in the winter he referenced here, and it shows whenever they wrestle. Good match with Momma Lethal providing some quality entertainment. The way she reacts, it’s like Jay has never told her the business is worked. I’ll say it again: she needs to be on TV.
– The James Gang vs. Team 3D
Team 3D revisit their ECW roots and bring chairs with them as they enter to AC/DC’s “Highway To Hell”, which is pretty cool. The James Gang immediately bail out and head up the aisle, complaining about the chairs and arguing with some fans as Ray takes the mic and says he’d love to see one of the fans smack BG. Ray gets the cheap pop by mentioning how great it is to be back in Wayne, NJ, and informs the Jameses they can either get in the ring and wrestle or 3D will come out and beat their asses to Giants Stadium, so BG & Kip return and we start with Devon and Kip locking up. The Gang play the bigtime heels here as Kip keeps bailing out and they argue with the fans. A section of kids start a “These Guys Suck” chant at the former New Age Outlaws and Ray enjoys it so much he gets on the mic again to point it out. Ray takes the mic over to the kids and they keep chanting as Ray gets the line of the night: “They’re in 5th grade, and they already know how much you suck!” That’s awesome. Ray returns to the apron and Kip tags BG as some older fans start a “Who’s The Catcher?” chant. The crowd chants “Buh-Buh” and Devon tags Ray, who goosesteps and raises the claw in a Baron Von Raschke tribute while the Gang bail out again and Kip exits up the aisle. Ray asks “Billy, Kip, whatever your name is” to come back because BG is scared without him, and admits that he hasn’t been working out much but reminds them he has a thyroid problem. This is great stuff as far as reading a crowd and interacting with them.
BG and Ray trade armdrags and BG bails out again while Ray does a “Suck It” crotch-chop. BG returns and fires off the dancing punches, but gets too involved in the dancing portion and Ray replies with his own punches, followed by a Flip Flop ‘n’ Fly eyepoke and Bionic Elbow. Team 3D tag in-and-out to control BG until Kip cheapshots Ray from the apron and tags in to hold the advantage, including an impressive back-bodydrop on the big guy. The Gang exchange tags as they work over Ray and stifle his attempted comebacks, but he finally mows them down with a dual-clothesline and makes the hot tag to Devon, who cleans house and sideslams Kip for a two-count. All four men are in the ring and Kip accidentally nails BG before Ray bodyslams Kip into position for the “Whazzup” headbutt from Devon. BG breaks up a 3D and Devon tosses him over the top rope, but Kip waffles Devon with a chairshot for the three-count. Afterwards, Kip hits Ray and BG promises a Slammiversary preview as he orders “Kipper” to get the tables. Kip retrieves a table and the Gang set it up in the ring, but the former Dudley Boys fight them off and toss BG over the top before 3Ding Kip through the table. “Highway To Hell” blares again as Team 3D celebrate and Ray apologizes for losing. They break off a piece of the table and Ray asks for a representative of the group of kids from earlier, so Devon manhandles the “little white kid” as he lifts him into the ring. The kid leads the crowd in a “TNA” chant and Ray presents him with the table piece before thanking the fans. For people who wonder why TNA even needs Team 3D, this is why. They’re great ambassadors for the company, in my opinion. The match wasn’t much, but the extracurriculars were a lot of fun.
– Gail Kim vs. Traci Brooks
Shark Boy is our Special Guest Referee/Lucky Bastard, and the usual commentators are replaced by some dude claiming to be from the UWF’s Standards & Practices, but who cares. Sharky does a very thorough patdown of Traci, but Gail takes offense and the bell rings as the two Knockouts lock up. Gail backs Traci into a corner and Sharky comes in between to separate them, but realizes he has each hand on the women’s breasts and instead of removing his hands, he squeezes and they both slap him. They try to double-clothesline Sharky, but he ducks and Gail spits in Traci’s face before clotheslining her to the mat. Gail is in control and they trade chops as Kim gets a “Happy Ending” chant (very creative…kudos to Wayne, NJ) and traps Traci in the Tarantula. Gail applies a cool deathlock, but misses a guillotine legdrop off the middle turnbuckle and holds her ass as Traci unloads on her. Gail whips Traci into Sharky in the corner and he collapses as Traci drop-toeholds Gail face-first into Sharky’s groin. She recoils in horror and disgust while Traci removes her own shirt to unleash her massive beasts (in a bra, pervs) and avalanches Gail in the corner. That avalanche was so hot it would melt snow. Traci faceplants Gail to score the pin and celebrates on the turnbuckles as Sharky points at her ass and moves in, presumably for the Tastiest Sharkbite Ever. Traci warns him not to do it and gets down as Gail rushes from behind and Sharky gets sandwiched between the ladies. They roll around on the mat and Gail stomps and chokes Traci before smacking her own ass and telling the crowd they can kiss it. Gail does the same to Sharky and he does what any red-blooded heterosexual male would do: he eagerly accepts the invitation and takes a big ol’ Bite of that booty. Gail quickly flees the scene while Sharky helps Traci up and points at her ass. And to think he got PAID for this!?! Definitely makes up for the weekly jobs he does on TV.
– Non-Title: Christopher Daniels & AJ Styles vs. America’s Most Wanted
We get the “Brokeback Mountain” chant right off the bat, so James Storm gets on the mic and threatens to slap the next person who chants that. Of course everybody chants it, followed by “Fuck ’em up, Daniels, f*ck ’em up” as the Fallen Angel squares off against Chris Harris and they trade wristlocks. Daniels decks Harris with a heelkick and drop-toeholds Storm into a 69 position on top of the Wildcat, then curbstomps the Cowboy’s face into Harris’ groin. Daniels stacks the NWA World Tag Team Champions in the corner and whips Styles into them with a spinning back-elbow before they collapse into a doggy-style position with Harris the pitcher and Storm the catcher. AMW scramble to the floor and Harris hilariously runs away from Storm, but they reconcile with a hug in the aisle. Back inside, Storm prepares to face Styles but Daniels forms an X over AJ’s ass to signal No Entry; either that or Daniels wants to save it for himself later tonight. Styles smacks Storm with his sweet dropkick and tosses him over the top rope, but Storm skins-the-cat and accidentally brings Harris out with a headscissors because he thinks it’s Styles. Harris & Storm are on the floor as Daniels & Styles slingshot out with perfectly-timed stereo planchas on AMW to ignite a “TNA” chant. Back inside, Daniels is ready to lock up with Harris as the crowd chants “Watch your back, Daniels, watch your back”, which turns out to be good advice as Storm comes in and blindsides him.
AMW isolate Daniels as the Cowboy scores a two-count with the Eye Of The Storm and tosses him to the floor, where the Wildcat drops the Fallen Angel’s throat on the guardrail and rolls him back in. Storm covers for two and AMW continue to control Daniels with their tag team expertise and heel tactics as the “These Guys Suck” chant returns. Daniels nails Storm with an enzuigiri and makes the hot tag to Styles, who cleans house on both men as Storm tags Harris. Harris catches Styles in a spinebuster for two and hooks him for a full nelson slam, but AJ blocks it and fires off the Pele Kick. AMW level AJ with the Hart Attack for a near-fall and set up the Death Sentence, but Daniels breaks it up and drills Harris with a Death Valley Driver. Styles adds a standing moonsault for a close near-fall and Storm knocks him to the floor before dodging a knee in the corner from Daniels and clotheslining him for two. Daniels catches Storm with a standing uranage and lands on his feet when Storm avoids the BME, but Storm stings him with a superkick. AJ lands the springboard-moonsault inverted DDT on Storm and Harris grabs him for the Catatonic, but Styles counters with a crucifix for two and blasts Harris with a springboard flying forearm.
Gail Kim appears on the apron to distract the ref, but Daniels dumps her into the ring and AJ sets her up in the Styles Clash. Daniels convinces Styles to release her and he does, only for Daniels to hook her up in the Angel’s Wings. Styles disagrees and they decide to put her over their knees instead and spank her until AMW break it up and whip them to the ropes for stereo back-bodydrops, but the Phenomenal Angels counter with stereo sunset flips. However, Storm blocks Daniels’ sunset flip and sits on him for the pin while Styles has Harris rolled up and the ref awards the decision to the Angels. Actually, he’s right because AJ and Harris were the legal men before all the chaos. Good match with some hot near-falls. The Clay Aiken commentator screams that we have new champs even though it’s non-title and the Angels clear the ring as AMW leave with Gail and the belts. Harris gets on the mic and hypes the Angels’ “Last Chance” title shot next week at Slammiversary, promising to shut their mouths for good. Styles & Daniels answer back with some gay innuendo and the Fallen Angel states that they will win the belts because they are the best tag team in TNA.
– Monster’s Ball: Abyss vs. Rhino vs. Samoa Joe
We get JB’s Super Special Ring Introductions after the entrances, which is cool for a house show. No James Mitchell, unfortunately, but Joe gets a huge reaction and “Joe’s Gonna Kill You” chants. Rhino gets the mic and states that “Joe ain’t gonna kill shit”, promising to Gore and “kick the living shit” out of his opponents as Clay Aiken notes that this is the first time Joe has faced Abyss or Rhino in TNA. Good three-way action to start as Abyss grips both men for a dual-chokeslam, but they escape and level the Monster with a Total Elimination style double-team featuring a clothesline from Rhino and a legsweep from Joe. Abyss rolls to the floor and Rhino slingshots out with a plancha before Joe follows his opponents out with a dual suicide elbowdive through the ropes. Joe creams Rhino with the Ole Kick and dumps Abyss over the guardrail as the brawl spills through the crowd. Joe whips Rhino into some vacated seats and throws a chair at Abyss, but Rhino whacks Joe and then Abyss with a chair across the back. The three warriors brawl up to the bleachers and the Samoan Submission Machine hacks away at Abyss with some stiff kicks as the crowd chants “Joe”. Rhino absorbs some chops from Joe and responds with punches as the brawl goes back to the railing, where Joe skateboard-kicks a chair into Abyss’ face RVD-style. Joe covers, but Rhino breaks the pin with a chairshot and creams Joe with an Ole Kick of his own. Abyss back-bodydrops Rhino over the railing back to ringside and dumps Joe over as well, but Rhino rams the Monster into the guardrail and rolls Joe into the ring.
They trade chops and Rhino spinebusters Joe for a pin, but Joe grabs the bottom rope to stop the count and Abyss drags Rhino out to the floor, throwing him against the railing. Abyss brings in a table and wedges a chair in the turnbuckles, but Joe bashes him with a trashcan lid and unloads with punches and chops. However, Abyss reverses a Samoan-Irish-whip and Joe goes head-first into the chair while Rhino waffles Abyss with another chair for a two-count. Rhino props up the table vertically in the corner and Joe whacks him with the trashcan lid, but Abyss clotheslines the X Division Champion. This is a non-title bout, by the way. Abyss sets up two chairs and ends up chokeslamming Rhino through them for a pin, but Joe makes the save and Abyss grips him for a chokeslam. However, Joe chops out of it and snap-powerslams Abyss on a chair for a very close near-fall. Joe jars Abyss with the inverted atomic drop and Abyss lands on the chair when Joe strikes with the running one-foot dropkick. Joe misses the senton backsplash and lands on the chair, giving Abyss the opportunity to retrieve his precious bag of thumbtacks, but Rhino Gores him through the table before he can use them. Rhino staggers back and Joe applies the choke, but the War Machine quickly mulekicks him in the coconuts and plants him with the belly-to-belly suplex. Rhino charges with the Gore, but Joe kicks him in the head and cinches in the Kokina Clutch as Rhino taps out. Great brawl with a cool finish to end the show.
Afterthoughts: Another great show, although not as memorable as the previous night’s Hardcore War for obvious reasons. Still, we got a pretty awesome Monster’s Ball with Joe kicking ass, an action-packed tag match with some comedy spots, some great micwork from Team 3D to save what would have been a rather dull match, Lethal looking damn good in his homestate with the antics of his mother, T&A between two chicks who can actually wrestle, a good Homicide/Lynn showdown, and a solid opener. This is definitely worth the extra $10 if you’re interested in Hardcore War, especially if you’re a Joe fan because (as Clay Aiken pointed out) the two shows really display the many facets of his wrestling style: one night he defends the X Title against Styles and Daniels in a classic X Division contest, the next night he’s a nasty bruiser brawling with Rhino and Abyss. Really cool idea for the first-ever TNA Northeast swing. Highly recommended stuff.
