WEEK 10 WRAPUP- AFC CONTENDERS
#1 COLTS 17, BILLS 16
Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison combined for fewer catches and yards than Ben Utecht had in this game.
Nice to see Tony Dungy hasn’t abandoned his policy of strapping on his vagina whenever the Colts play against a shitty team.
#2 BRONCOS 17, RAIDERS 13
Jake Plummer threw 3 interceptions, he’s got to be looking over his shoulder at Jay Cutler..der dee der der der dee der..the football season labors on.
Warren Sapp actually had 2 sacks in this game? I thought he was just like the Raiders’ mascot now or something. And the Raiders are paying Lamont Jordan how much money to carry 10 times for 12 yards? At least he did better than Justin Fargas’ 8 carries for minus 6 yards. It must be embarrassing to him that even I, at 185 pounds and 31 years of age, could do better than that. All I’d have to do is jump on top of the cente’s back as soon as I take the handoff. Using this method I am just about 100% sure I could get about 16 yards on 8 carries.
#3 RAVENS 27, TITANS 26
How does God allow his linebacker to let Travis Henry run for 107 yards against his defense? Meanwhile, the Ravens avert disaster thanks to 373 passing yards by Steve McNair, providing great testimony that the Titans’ defense sucks real bad.
JETS 17, #4 PATRIOTS 14
I propose that the national sports media should be prevented by law from devoting any significant percentage of their weekly programming to discussion of why two middle aged men did or did not shake hands at the conclusion of a sporting event.
Manlove?
Manlove!
Meanwhile, let me allay the weeping and gnashing of teeth of any Patriots fans over their 2 game losing streak. Let’s peruse the remaining schedule. Packers, Lions, Dolphins, Texans, Titans. Hmm..that’s at least 5 more wins right there. Worst they can do is 11-5. The Jets ain’t going 11-5. You win the division New England. Manlove? Manlove!
#5 CHARGERS 49, BENGALS 41
The Chargers offense seems to get scarier every week, but the defense does too, and not in a good scary way, I mean a bad scary way. This is 4 weeks in a row now that they’ve given up more than 20 points. So, let’s say they get to the playoffs, and inevitably have to meet up with the Colts. Then they are casting their lot on winning a shootout between Philip Rivers and Peyton Manning, and I think I like Manning’s chances better in that situation. We’ll see if things change once Shawn Merriman comes back from the steroid suspension. Hopefully for the Chargers he’s been using the time off to take more steroids.
TEXANS 13, #6 JAGUARS 10
Jack Del Rio, meet Jim Mora Jr. You two should have a lot of things to talk about, when you’re both fired.
OTHER CONTENDERS
The familiar surroundings of Dolphin Stadium must have reminded Damon Huard that he is Damon Huard. He put up a 15 of 38 uh-oh in a game that dropped the Chiefs to 5-4. It also dropped them to 1-4 in the AFC, which is very bad for a team that is going to have to get in the playoffs via wildcard.
AFC PLAYOFF PICTURE
1. Colts 9-0
2. Broncos 7-2
3. Ravens 7-2
4. Patriots 6-3
5. Chargers 7-2
6. Jaguars 5-4
NEWS YOU CAN USE
– Titans DT Albert Haynesworth must undergo counseling as a condition of his being allowed to return to the team. The counseling will help him realize that in most situations the right thing to do is NOT step on someone else’s face.
– Jags left tackle Khalif Barnes apologized to the Jaguars organization for getting arrested last Saturday for a DUI. He told police he had one drink at a comedy club. I’ve been to a comedy club before, and I know they MAKE you have a drink as a condition of being there. So, in my mind, it’s the comedy club that should be apologizing to the Jaguars. The moral of this story is, Kill Whitey.
– The Seahawks may be getting both Shaun Alexander and Matt Hasselbeck back for this week’s game against San Francisco. I think, though, that since the B-Hawks already have the division won, it may be best to sit those guys out until the playoffs. It’s only another 2 months away.
– Bills WR Lee Evans offered this assessment of his team’s offense after Monday’s practice, “”It’s just been bad. And until we get that fixed, it’s going to continue to be bad.”
– Clinton Portis is having hand surgery and may miss the rest of the season. He also may have to walk around with his hand in a hyperbaric chamber like the hand model David Duchovny played in “Zoolander”.
– Cowboys LB Greg Ellis (4 ½ sacks, 1 INT) is going to miss the rest of the season with a torn Achilles tendon.
– Troy Polamalu has been an integral part of the Steelers shitty defense this year, and may play this weekend despite suffering his sixth career concussion this weekend against the Saints.
– Tony Gonzalez has been back to being a productive tight end the last few weeks. He is celebrating by missing this week’s game with a shoulder injury.
– Troy Polamalu may play this weekend despite suffering the sixth concussion of his career this past weekend against the Saints.
– Raiders’ QB Andrew Walter was critical of the team’s playbook following this weeks loss to Denver. Art Shell is displeased, and is now threatening all of us with the resurrection of Aaron Brooks.
– Troy Polamalu may play this weekend despite suffering the sixth concussion of his career this past weekend against the Saints.
Okay that’s it for today.
