Greetings everyone. Welcome back to your weekly installment of the Internet Wrestling Community’s only happy place, A Look on the Bright Side.
Okay, so I was driving back home from DC yesterday, and saw quite a few police officers parked along the side of the road enforcing the speed limit. This got me thinking of the (way too often) times I’ve been pulled over, and the fact that the officer always something like, “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”
Now, my question is – what’s the proper answer to this?
Let’s say you were doing, oh I don’t know, 75 mph in a 55 zone. Just saying “No, I don’t” seems unlikely. Saying “Yes Officer, I was doing about 75” implies that you’re honest, but also kind of an idiot. Saying “Well, Officer, I think I was doing around 55” implies that you think he’s kind of an idiot.
Now, the cop has already clocked you on his radar. He knows how fast you were going (or how fast the radar says you were going) – so what’s the point of asking you?
Are there any police officers or friends/relatives of police officers out amongst my readers? Email me. This is really bugging me today for some reason.
YouTube Video of the Week
Some 80’s wrestling goodness: The Road Warriors vs. The Russians, in two parts. Check out the hair on the intro in part I.
Around the Pulse
Eric didn’t care much for the hour long Cena/HBK match. I know, I’m as shocked as you.
Wheeler discusses the WWE and it’s possible growth into the Internet. I don’t agree with most of it, but it’s a good read.
The second version of VS. is out. Please read – it’s worth it just for Iain’s ideas on comic characters that should become wrestlers.
Jamie and the Rabble get off some good lines from a show that, admittedly, didn’t give a lot of material for snarkiness. The Forum Insyders helped a lot, as usual.
The Week That Was
And now, we get to the meat of the column. The idea is fairly simple: I point out (at least) 5 things from each major show that should be getting more attention, but aren’t. (And occasionally, I just point out some absurdity just to tweak the rest of the IWC.) There’s way too much negativity infused into columnists who write about pro wrestling: this is just my little attempt to balance it out a bit.
Love the concept? Hate it? Think I missed something important from last week? See something this week that you think should be here? Email me by Tuesday evening.
And be sure to take part in the Insidepulse Forum for A Look on the Bright Side thread too.
Friday Night Smackdown
1. I’ll say one thing for Jillian’s new schtick – you don’t see too many female wrestlers that enthusiastic about making themselves look really, really foolish.
2. Every time I start to take Chris Benoit for granted, he pulls off something like his extended heat sequence after the hot tag from Hardy. I especially enjoyed the snap suplex of Chavo onto MVP. And that backdrop he pulled, while still in the Sharpshooter? Awesome.
3. So London grew some facial hair? Didn’t someone tell him before he got on camera that he now looked like Keanu Reeves? I assume he’s just desperate to get rid of the “Team Twink Porn” label.
4. Holy crap, but London and Kendrick were feeling it at the start of that match. I’m always curious to watch the effort put forth by a title holder in matches when I know they are going to lose (I’m watching this on Sunday, and have already read the reports online).
5. So far tonight, JBL has made shout-outs to Masahiru Chono, Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen and now Steve and Scott Sampson. He’s getting more obscure as the night goes on. Who’s next, Austin Idol?
6. They should really warn the viewer before going from London and Kendrick’s high-flying innovative offense to the punch-and-kick-a-thon of Deuce and Domino.
7. I think one of my favorite repeating spots in the WWE is the “ref runs from the Undertaker after daring to give him a 5-count” bit. Just cracks me up every time, especially when the ref runs right out of the ring like tonight.
8. What was with the people rushing the ringside barrier right after Finlay ran in? I noticed something similar earlier in the night, when a whole bunch of people that were standing ringside cleared out just before a match started. So, what’s the policy – first come, first serve on the barrier after the bell rings? Is this an Italian or a European thing? I don’t remember seeing this on Raw before.
Monday Night Raw
1. Shane-O starts off the show, and JR wastes no time breaking out the “demon seed” line. Nice.
2. Wow, that’s some outfit Vince is wearing tonight. The Bowler is just not working, especially with that jacket/tie/pants combo. But if he was going for the “Lulu and Sluggo” look – mission accomplished.
3. Oh, for Pete’s sake… there’s now a female version of Jackass? C’mon, ladies – I thought you (and by “you”, I mean “your entire gender”) had more class than that.
4. Yes, I know that Maria is Hatton’s obsession, so I don’t drool over her much here (but yes, she is insanely “hot cute”). But what I really, really enjoyed about her ring entrance was that she kept her eyes on Melina the whole time. It drives me insane when wrestlers (male and female) completely ignore their opponent during their extended entrance. And the upper-cards guy are, by far, the worst offenders here. Why has no one ever cracked HHH in the back of the head during his “lion roar pose”, hmm?
5. Chris Daughtry is an absolute dickhead. For confirmation on this fact click here.
6. I did appreciate Mick getting in his “I don’t get to be on Raw that much” line just before Edge showed up and hijacked the interview. Very passive-agressive of you, Mr. Foley. Well played.
7. The crowd is ready (and besides, it’s international, so they can explain it when they get back stateside). Cena is pulling off a nice cocky attitude with the “that close” motion every time he goes for the STFU. Lord knows HBK can play whatever role he wants to play, with a half-second’s notice. So, why aren’t they just letting Cena play the cocky heel tonight, and let Shawn dive into a full-on babyface? This crowd would eat that up with a spoon. I just do NOT get this “Cena must play the superhero face role no matter what the crowd does to him” attitude amongst the WWE creative nowadays. There is just no room for compromise whatsoever. The Bret/Austin double-turn match literally could not happen nowadays, and that’s a truly sad statement about who is running this company.
8. I will just quote Danny Cox from the IP forum here: “We come back from commercial…the crowd is louder then they have been all night…and HBK and Cena are now sweating their asses off. What the FUCK happened during the break?” But seriously – coming back from break right into a really hot crowd was a nice change – it made me sit up immediately, wondering what was coming next. (Oh, another headlock? Well, okay.)
9. Want some good evidence of how some people in the IWC simply can’t be satisfied? We just got a one hour long match between two huge superstars on free TV with an incredibly hot ending. And what’s the reaction? It was too slow paced. Umm…. moron says what?
ECW on Sci Fi
1. So, CM Punk does his little “we’re all on the same page now!” speech, shakes hands with the first 4 members of the New Breed, and then just walks away from Elijah Burke. And I’m thinking, “Okay, that was a bit over the top.” Then, he comes back into the shot, gives a “just messin’ with ya” statement, and walks back out. Wow – I don’t know who’s booking this angle, but they are really, really doing it right.
2. Yes, I know – Snitsky pretty much sucks. But, he’s a big guy, so Vince was going to keep him around for something. And, being the Kane of ECW at least serves a purpose – plus, they keep his matches short for the most part. (And hey, we may end up seeing one of the members of Extreme Expose take a big boot to the face – BONUS.) And really – is he any worse in the ring than 911?
3. Okay, I’ve given the New Breed/Originals feud some serious love already. But something did occur to me – if it’s truly going to get over, they’re eventually going to have to count on at least one of the Originals to actually, y’know, speak.
4. WOW, what a DTD bump from Striker! I knew I liked this guy for a reason.
5. And right after that: I watched that monkeyflip in slow-mo, and Striker came seriously close to breaking his damn neck. Just a reminder folks – this is scripted, but it’s still really damn dangerous.
6. Burke is getting visibly better every single week he’s on TV. The end-game he had with RVD was immensely entertaining (that heel kick he took in the face while trying to leap over the top rope was played perfectly).
7. Oh well, so much for my hope for a slow burn storyline. They absolutely jumped the gun with Punk striking Burke this early. He needed to set up another “Oops, did I just cause you another match?” moment to keep it going. I’ll reserve final judgement until they show Punk’s interaction with the rest of the NB next week – but I am definitely disappointed.