Available at Amazon.com
Directed by
Dave Meyers
Cast:
Sean Bean … John Ryder
Sophia Bush … Grace Andrews
Zachary Knighton … Jim Halsey
Neal McDonough … Lieutenant Esteridge
Kyle Davis … Buford’s Store Clerk
Skip O’Brien … Harlan Bremmer, Sr.
Travis Schuldt … Harlan Bremmer, Jr.
Danny Bolero … Officer Edwards
Jeffrey Hutchinson … Young Father
Yara Martinez … Beth
Lauren Cohn … Marlene
There was probably a time when you could say Horror movies were perhaps the most successful genre at producing remakes that were at least good on their own terms, even if they didn’t match up to the original. Films such as John Carpenter’s The Thing, Werner Herzog’s Nosferatu, and David Cronenberg’s The Fly were all able to both successfully update and honor the original source material to produce frights that are still effective when watched today. Made by talented artists at the top of their game, these filmmakers knew why the original films scared audiences so badly, and were able to build upon those elements in order to scare the hell out of us.
Of course, nowadays Horror remakes are a virtual wasteland of missed opportunities and uninspired filmmaking. Aside from Zach Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead, the onslaught of bad films from this genre lately is staggering, as studios try desperately to skew tried and true Horror classics for younger audiences, offering us vapid rehashes with none of the atmosphere that the original creators tried so hard to produce. From the pair of Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-imaginings to When a Stranger Calls, The Fog, and so many others, no revered title in the genre seems safe. Adding to this shameful trend and bringing the bar even lower is the all new and improved version of The Hitcher.
The original Hitcher by Director Robert Harmon was a tightly woven and relentless film that wound up the tension at the five minute mark and really didn’t let go until the film’s closing credits. Five minutes into the new Hitcher, you’re wading through a Pop single while watching teen lovers on Spring Break, Grace Andrews and Jim Halsey (Sophia Bush and Zachary Knighton), drive through the countryside. This is an early indication of how things will go from that point.
To be honest, its simple premise should have been one that could have been easy to reproduce: A man is picked up by a lone traveler, who ends up terrorizing the unsuspecting young motorist for the rest of the film, setting him up for several murders along the way until the film’s amazing climax. The first huge mistake that the new film makes is instead of simply pitting Jim Halsey against John Rider (Sean Bean) and making it a personal duel between these two, we get Rider taking on a loving couple, needlessly complicating the movie and diluting the movie’s tension. Even when the original film added Jennifer Jason Leigh to the proceedings, the flick was always just a test of wills between that film’s Jim Halsey (C. Thomas Howell) and Rider (the amazingly creepy Rutger Hauer).
By adding this new element of the loving couple we’re now open to senseless bickering and the occasional PG-13 shower scene, enhancing the film none whatsoever. You wonder if these two characters have ever even seen another movie or TV show before, because they are constantly making every wrong move and acting like complete idiots to the point where you almost start rooting for the villain to do them in. Of course, it doesn’t help that Sophia Bush is absolutely horrendous in this film, especially at the film’s conclusion where she’s survived car wrecks, explosions and a hundred other torments, but still looks as if she’s ready to shoot a hair commercial. Zachary Knighton fairs a little better, but has to share 90% of his screen-time with Bush, which keeps him from really doing anything but screaming a lot, whether at Rider or his onscreen girlfriend.
The only one in this film that comes out unscathed is Sean Bean. Though his John Rider is not even close to being in the same league as Rutger Hauer’s, Bean is still appropriately creepy and vicious. He’s actually quite chilling in the film’s earlier scenes, but his intensity isn’t enough to save this movie. While he doesn’t really bring anything new to the role, he certainly has the right tone for this particular character and would have been great in a better film.
Unfortunately, all of Bean’s work is for not as the rest of the cast is uniformly bad and the film’s direction is by-the-numbers. After viewing the incredible chases in Death Proof recently, the polished mayhem and bad soundtrack choices of this film’s action sequences are yawn inducing. The movie’s chases also lack the amount of desperation that should be present as John Rider tries to chase down and destroy these innocents. Instead, we care so little about these characters that we’re simply watching an exercise onscreen instead of being a part of this story.
On top of all these problems, The Hitcher then breaks two important movie rules. First up, is that you should never show scenes from a film that is much better than your’s within the movie you are making. By having Grace watch scenes from The Birds in the middle of this film, former music video director Dave Meyers only managed to remind us just how bad his picture really was. The second rule is that whatever moment of extreme horror you have in your movie, it’s going to be much scarier in your mind than it will ever be if you show it. Director Robert Harmon knew that when he put together his version of The Hitcher’s brutal signature scene. Meyers decides instead to give us a repugnant effects shot, throwing this film further down the bowels of mediocrity.
It’s safe to say that there’s no chance that this new version will ever eclipse the original’s cult status. With bad acting and worse direction this Hitcher is but a sad shadow of the original’s incredible kinetic intensity. Perhaps this film’s critical and commercial failure will help turn the tide on this onslaught of terrible remakes, but it’s really not likely. At any rate for real thrills, just pick up the original instead.
The Video
The print on this disc is quite good, with the picture being quite vibrant throughout, showcasing the film’s flashy cinematography. The film is presented in Anamorphic Widescreen with an aspect ratio of 2.40:1.
The Audio
The Audio track is presented in Dolby Digital 5.1 and is also quite good. The sound is kept at a nice balance with the effects or dialogue never overlapping to the point where it’s hard to hear one or the other.
SPECIAL FEATURES: Deleted Scenes, Featurettes, and Trailers.
Deleted Scenes – You get over 22 minutes of Deleted Scenes, but more than half of those are virtually the same scene, shot over and over as Rider reveal his presence to Grace in a motel room in several different ways. There’s also an alternate ending, which may actually be better than the one in the finished film.
Dead End – This featurette splits its time between Zachary Knighton getting ready for the film’s signature scene and the special effects team helping to bring it to screen. This featurette is full of spoilers, so watch the film first (or don’t at all) before watching this extra.
Road Kill: The Ultimate Car Crash – No, this is not about the final chase in The Road Warrior, but about the last crash sequence in this film. It is a pretty intense crash and perhaps this film’s best moment, unfortunately the movie’s last scene is pretty pathetic sequence.
Fuel Your Fear: The Making of The Hitcher – This goes for about 10 minutes and is a pretty standard “behind the scenes” promotional piece. Everybody seems to be having the times of their lives and you would think that this film would have been a huge success listening to these cast and crew members, but apparently that wasn’t the case.
Chronicles of a Killer – This is a fake news story chronicling John Rider’s murders in the film.
